by Pastor Patrick Cho
When I have the opportunity to walk through premarital counseling with an engaged couple, one of the lessons that we cover is called, “The Most Important Relationship in Your Relationship.” This title is taken from Wayne Mack’s Preparing for Marriage God’s Way, which is a great tool to help couples know what to expect in marriage. In this particular chapter, the book addresses each person’s spiritual life. How is your relationship with the Lord? How is your time in God’s Word? How is your time in prayer? Of course, most true Christians would agree that the key to a successful marriage is keeping Christ at the center of it. This chapter allows us to walk through what that looks like practically.
One issue that needs to be addressed in the context of a family’s spiritual health is the place of church in the life of the family. These two divinely ordained institutions are designed to support and strengthen each other. The stronger the church, the more beneficial for the family. Likewise, the stronger the family, the stronger the church. It is no wonder that Paul often drew upon the analogy of the family to describe the relationships of the church. He reminded the Thessalonians of his parental care towards them (1 Thess. 2:7, 11-12). He exhorted the members of the church to treat each other as family (1 Tim. 5:1-2). Perhaps he borrowed this language from Jesus (Matt. 12:48-50).
Instead, what we are seeing in the church today is a different value system. For the sake of the family, more and more couples are becoming less and less involved in the life of the church. They complain that ministry crowds out time for their families to be together. Yes, the church needs to be careful in its planning and structure not to bully the calendar and eat up the week. But families also need to recognize how vital it is (for the sake of their families!) to be regularly involved in the worship and fellowship of the church.
In consideration of this issue, consider the following questions for application:
- As a married couple or parent, in what ways do you seek to be a blessing to the church family? How are you serving the body and contributing to the overall health of the church?
- Are your children developing a high view of the church from your instruction and example?
- Are there activities you plan for your family (vacations, sports, shopping, etc.) that unnecessarily conflict with church events?
- When you say you need time for your family, do you actually spent time together as a family? Do you just use your family as an excuse not to be more involved at church so that you can focus on personal interests?
I really appreciated this article from Albert Mohler, which was written back in 2007. Read his thoughts on this very important issue.