Category Archives: Affinity Groups

God’s Wisdom for Parenting (Part 9)

by Pastor Patrick Cho

One of the places in Scripture to find a wealth of helpful principles for parenting is the Proverbs. Almost every book on parenting will reference these Scriptures repeatedly because of the wisdom they contain. Besides the plethora of verses that apply to parenting indirectly, several passages address parenting specifically.

In the fear of the LORD there is strong confidence, And his children will have refuge. (Proverbs 14:26)

What are you afraid of? What keeps you up at night? What anxieties disturb the peace in your heart? When we experience this kind of fear, it exposes our lack of trust in the Lord. We think our problems are too big inevitably because we deem our God too small. We don’t trust His Word when it teaches that we can say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper. I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?” (Heb. 13:6). We treat Him as small who has promised, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you” (Heb. 13:5). We distrust that by prayer we have no reason for anxiety and we can have the peace of God guarding and protecting our hearts and minds (Phil. 4:6-7).

The psalmist writes that there is strong confidence in the fear of YHWH. It is ironic, I suppose, that the author states that “strong confidence” comes as a result of “fear.” But this is not a fear of dread like the fear of an untamed beast or horrible calamity. The fear of God is worshipful awe and reverence at His glory and greatness. This is about finding sure confidence in who God is regardless of what we face in life. Because we know Him, we understand that our God is bigger than any trial we may endure. The greater our fear of God, the surer our strong confidence. He is my God and He is my Lord, and if God is for me, who can be against me (cf. Rom. 8:31).

Every believer ought to strive to attain this confidence, which comes only as a result of greater knowledge and deeper relationship with God. This truth serves as an anchor for the soul to keep the heart from being tossed back and forth by its own inclinations and emotions. You can ask yourself, “Do I trust that in God I have no reason for fear? Is He my strong confidence?”

The principle for parenting comes in the second half of this insightful couplet. It says that if a man fears the Lord, his children will have refuge. The strength of my faith as a father serves as a spiritual protection for my children. One specific grace that God sometimes bestows is for a person to be raised in a Christian home with God-fearing parents. Many people reflect on the strong faith of their parents that encouraged them throughout their childhood. Especially in times of trouble, if my faith is unsure, it will have an adverse effect on the faith of my children. But if I maintain strong confidence in God, I can serve as a steadying influence for my children encouraging them likewise to trust in God.

One day, my child’s faith is going to need to be their own. They will walk through their own valleys and experience their own trials. But especially while they are young, I have a responsibility to demonstrate strong confidence in God because in my confidence they will find refuge. This is a helpful principle for parenting that cultivating our own walk with Christ has benefits beyond ourselves. Through our faith in God, our children can be blessed.

Why I Serve in Fireflies

by Stephanie Chung

Fireflies, the nursery ministry of LBCSD, has one of the largest staffs of any of the children’s ministries, or ministries in general at the church. While this is in no small part due to the sheer number of children the Lord blesses our church with, it is also because of the hearts of the members to love, teach, and disciple our littlest ones. And every week I serve, I get to witness exactly that.

I joined the Fireflies staff about 6-7 years ago while I was in college. I was interested in the ministry because I wanted to serve in an official ministry and I enjoyed working with kids – teaching them God’s Word, shepherding their hearts. I was trying to choose between joining Fireflies or Sparklers, and Carol, our ministry coordinator, got to me first. So here I am.

A few years later, I joined the teaching staff. As an aspiring teacher, I believed I would be a good fit for the ministry. I thought the transition from classroom instruction to teaching nursery lessons would be an easy one; I thought I had the merits needed to be an engaging and effective teacher; I believed myself to possess the necessary qualities to be able to do this well. While these things weren’t untrue, I quickly realized my mistake of depending too much on my own strength to accomplish something only the Lord can do.

Since then, I’ve learned and experienced that teaching the Fireflies is so much more than trying to calm a screaming baby or changing a few smelly diapers, and more than managing a roomful of children with the many different ways they disobey or get into conflicts, and even more than telling a Bible Story in a way that just keeps the children’s interest and then producing a craft to have something to show for the day. Rather, the call of being on staff is an act of worship and glorifying God, through the teaching of His Word in order to make disciples.

One of the main priorities of the ministry is to teach God’s truth, and that comes with the weighty responsibility to handle it accurately (2 Timothy 2:15). Every lesson teaches the children about the God of the Bible – his sovereignty, his goodness, his love. This requires studying and meditating on the passage of scripture from which the lesson is found. The children learn to love God’s word as they learn and memorize scripture through songs and hand-motions, as well as to contemplate the characters and events of the Old and New Testaments. Often, the lessons that we teach about God and his attributes are good and timely reminders for the staff and me as well, and my own love for God and his Word is deepened.

Through the teaching of God’s Word, the staff and I are intentionally carrying out the MVP, particularly the M – to make disciples of Christ (Matthew 28:18-20). We teach a Bible lesson on an attribute of God and appeal to the children to make choices and live lives according to the Lord’s will. Sometimes, the lessons learned aren’t even during the formal lesson time. By interacting with the staff and other children, they are learning to listen and obey the first time, to be kind to others, make wise choices, to share, to be peacemakers.

Serving in nursery is an extension of our worship to the Lord. It is one of the ways we get to glorify God on Sunday morning. We are speaking truth each week, and yes, even starting at this early age because we do not presume on what the Lord can or cannot use to fulfill his kingdom’s work. We are simply called to be the faithful servants to carry out this mission. We plant the seeds of the gospel so that one day, when they can understand the weight of the Lord’s message, the soil will be ready to receive it. This is our prayer and this is our hope. We do this, not because we have the power to save or only because we are called to, but out of love for the Lord and His precious little ones. And we trust that the Lord will work mightily through us in the hearts of the children and accomplish his will.

God’s Wisdom for Parenting (Part 8)

by Pastor Patrick Cho

One of the places in Scripture to find a wealth of helpful principles for parenting is the Proverbs. Almost every book on parenting will reference these Scriptures repeatedly because of the wisdom they contain. Besides the plethora of verses that apply to parenting indirectly, several passages address parenting specifically.

He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently. (Proverbs 13:24)

In this series, I have been walking through proverbs that specifically deal with the theme of parenting. The passage for today comes just two verses after the previous verse we looked at. As with some earlier proverbs, this verse walks through the importance of discipline, but here it is specifically dealing with applying the rod in parenting. It is not surprising that this is a controversial issue amongst parents outside the church. Many secular articles have been written warning against the dangers of spanking. But from a Christian perspective, God’s Word is clear that a parent’s responsibility is to guide their children away from sinful behavior by loving discipline and the implementation of the “rod.”

Some Christians have attempted to argue that the Bible does not promote spanking young children. They claim that, though well-intended, we have misunderstood Scripture’s intent. One argument they posit is that the Hebrew word for “child” (Heb. naar) in the Proverbs does not refer to young children but older youths. A quick look at several passages would demonstrate that this is false. While it is true that the word can refer to young men (Gen. 14:24), it is also used to label very young children (Gen. 21:12) and even infants (Exod. 2:6; 1 Sam. 1:22). This word can be applied to any child that is not a full-grown adult. The notion that the Bible does not promote spanking children is driven by a predetermined agenda without allowing Scripture to speak for itself.

This proverb states that the one who refrains from implementing the rod of discipline hates his son, but the one who loves him disciplines him diligently. This is contrary to the unfortunate thinking of many parents that spanking is unloving or harsh. Of course, a parent can punish their child in a very unloving and even abusive way, but biblical discipline never allows for this. Biblically, discipline is either applied in love or it is sin. Parents who spank their children in anger need to repent and seek forgiveness from God and their children. The motive for biblical correction is always love.

Many parents today reject spanking because of a faulty understanding of human nature, that children are basically innocent. As such, too many unfortunately allow their children to learn merely from their experiences and their own life choices. Too many parents allow their children to have their own way. But the Bible commands parents to teach a child the way to go. In fact, the Bible teaches that leaving a child to choose their own way will lead to their spiritual destruction. This is why the author states that withholding discipline is tantamount to hating your child.

It follows then that if a parent loves their child with true, godly love, they will seek to save their child from a course in life that leads to destruction by not allowing them to go their own way (Prov. 29:15; cf. Prov. 22:6 CSB). Parents are to do this “diligently” (Heb. mūsar). This is an interesting adverb in Hebrew that comes from the root word for “dawn.” It should be understood as “early.” In other words, diligently disciplining your child is to correct their behavior early without allowing it to persist.

Fighter Verses

by Sarah Andrews

In youth ministry, our middle schoolers are currently being equipped with “Fighter verses” that will help them to “fight the good fight of faith” (1 Timothy 6:12). We recently discussed Philippians 2:12-13: “Therefore, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not only in my presence, but now even more in my absence, continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God who works in you to will and to act on behalf of his good pleasure.”

What does it mean to work out our salvation; does it mean we work for our salvation? It is a tremendous blessing that we, as Christians are not striving to enter the gates of heaven based on our own merit. If our salvation was dependent on our performance, we would be unable to meet God’s perfect standard and would be fully deserving of His wrath. God showed us mercy and He died for our sins so that we would not have to pay the price. If we put our faith in Jesus as our Lord and Savior, and ask Him to forgive our sins, we will be fully forgiven and cleansed of all unrighteousness.

“Working out our salvation” means that out of our new identities as children of God, we live changed lives and are being made into the image of Christ. We are still imperfect people living in an imperfect world, and we battle sin and Satan who tempts us. We desire to obey God and live in a way that pleases and worships Him, although the Christian walk will have trials and suffering (1 Peter 1:6, 1 John 16:33, Romans 8:18).

The Holy Spirit helps us fight our fleshly desires and live righteous lives, and we have God’s word for spiritual armor and wisdom. As we abide in God and trust in His grace, He helps bear fruit in our lives. Ultimately the gospel gives us strength to continue, because we know that Christ has paid the price for our sins, and He has the final victory over Satan and sin.

I pray that all the youth at Lighthouse Bible Church may put their faith in Jesus, and as they grow older and face trials, God can give them wisdom and knowledge of His power, faithfulness and abundant grace. I am excited to see how He will work in their lives to shape them to be more like Christ.

Through trials, I have learned that God is gracious and wise, and His word is “a lamp to my feet and a light for my path” (Psalm 119:105) when I am discouraged and need direction. Whether we are working at a job, caring for our families, or serving elsewhere, God calls us to love and forgive people just as Christ has loved and forgiven us, and to share the hope of the gospel.

God can test our faith in situations when people are difficult to love, or if they even hurt or mistreat us. God’s commands are possible when we find our hope in the gospel. We once hated and rejected God, but He forgave us of all our sins; therefore, the Holy Spirit allows us to love, forgive and pray for people. God’s word says,

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:17-21)

In addition, God calls us to share the hope of Christ with people who do not know Him. Through our preaching of the gospel and living transformed lives through the power of the Holy Spirit, God can use us as instruments of His plan. It is God who changes hardened hearts and brings people to repentance. (John 6:44). We are sinners who were once no different from nonbelievers, and God desires for us to show compassion, be patient, and share the hope we have “with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who slander [us] will be put to shame by [our] good behavior in Christ.” (Romans 6:15-23). Ephesians 5:1-2 states as well, “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

Trials indeed make our faith stronger. We daily sin and fail, but we can confess our shortcomings to God and find forgiveness at the cross. Hebrews 4:16 says, “let us approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” We do not work to earn or keep God’s favor; rather, we work out our salvation to please and worship our Savior.

Even when we forget or have trouble trusting His promises, He still loves us. Let us “fight the good fight of faith!”

Why Require Obedience in the Classroom?

by Ryan McAdams

For some of you, this may seem like a question with an obvious answer. But, for many parents and children’s ministry servants, myself included, we have had to wrestle with whether or not we should require obedience to God’s standards from unsaved children. The logic against requiring children to obey God’s commands flows something like the following: knowing that without faith, it is impossible to please God, we cannot expect children without the Holy Spirit in them to obey; we are asking the impossible from them.

We have touched on this subject previously in the Beacon, as well as in an excellent treatment on the topic from this year’s GraceLife Weekender (Weekend Conference), and many if not most of the arguments for obedience from children within a family will apply to children within a children’s ministry.

In spite of the seemingly impossible task we are expecting from the unregenerate children, we do require obedience in the classroom. Do we do it for the sake of maintaining order in the classroom and having the events run smoothly? Tempting as it is to let that determine what we do in the ministry, no, we do not require obedience for order in the classroom alone. In short, we require obedience because God requires obedience, for the Lord Jesus himself said “You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48).

Now, the astute Biblical scholar might note that Jesus was speaking to his followers about life in the kingdom of God when he made that statement, and argue that this returns us back to the starting question of how we can expect this perfection from children who have not been born again. But, God had given the children of Israel a very similar command in the book of Leviticus, saying that “You shall be holy, for I the Lord your God am holy.” (Leviticus 20:26). Before you object that God gave that commandment solely to the Israelites, remember that God judged non-Israelite peoples throughout history for their wickedness, for the very lack of conformity to God’s holiness, starting with the people in Noah’s day, to the Canaanites throughout the Israelite conquest, to the judgments against nations around Israel from Nahum, Obadiah, Amos, Isaiah and other prophets. God very much expects obedience from all peoples everywhere, and this includes the children in our classrooms every Sunday.

Understanding that the heart of the natural man is desperately sick, wicked to the core, we understand that without divine help nobody can be holy as God is holy, and thus we all are in big trouble. But, as Jonah also knew, “God is a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster.” (Jonah 4:2b). And so God has revealed his law, as an act of divine grace. To the nation of Israel, God provided the sacrificial system, where a person would sacrifice an animal to atone for a sin. And this sacrifice served to remind the individual of the seriousness of his sin, that he should have died in the place of that animal. But even more than that, God gave the law, not so that anyone could attain righteousness by adhering to the rules, for all who rely on works of the law are under a curse, but that the law would imprison us, acting as a harsh tutor or taskmaster, as Paul explained in the third chapter of his letter to the Galatians. Essentially, the law should drive us to despair as it reveals the myriad manifestations of our sinfulness. But, this despair should drive us to the great hope of Jesus Christ, who God made to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

So, we uphold God’s standards in the classroom, like showing kindness, speaking truth, obeying authorities, and try to explain to the children when they have transgressed these things with the hope that with each transgression, they will understand more and more their inadequacy to be holy as God is holy, and the futility in trusting their own works to save them. We want their hearts to beg for God’s help and we want each of them to cling in faith to God’s mercy in the life and death of Jesus, the perfect Son of God.

Devoted to Loving the Word of God

by Cesar Vigil-Ruiz

Recently, a small group of members from our church traveled to Tucuman, Argentina to minister to a church that we have been working with since 2005. Our goal for this trip was to be an encouragement and a source of support for the lead pastor, Jorge Ahualle, and his family. We were blessed with the opportunity to spend time with the church for a retreat weekend together. We were asked to cover topics related to the theme of consecration/devotion, and were directed to speak to different groups within the church. I had the privilege of speaking to the youth of the church, and knew exactly what I wanted to communicate to them.

No matter which youth group will listen, my emphasis will always be the same: devotion to the Word of God. If the youth do not have a saving relationship with Jesus Christ, the primary source to discover it is found in the gospel revealed in the life and work of Jesus Christ in Holy Scripture. If a youth follows Jesus, the way of growth is a vibrant relationship with Him, which comes by way of listening to Him by exposure to His Word, and speaking to Him in prayer.

With the direction our culture is heading, there is no doubt that our youth will be tempted and pulled in all sorts of distractions. What is needed is a singular devotion to Christ, and He is most visible to us in the utterance of God’s words. This is my hope for the youth: that their hearts and minds will be a lifelong pursuit of the glory of Christ in every area of life.

Scripture has many examples of men and women who were devoted to loving the Word of God, but I have found a stellar example in the psalmist of Psalm 119. For 176 verses, this psalmist inarguably demonstrates his deep love for the words of our God, and models it for everyone, especially the youth, to see the wonders of knowing His Word.

“Actions speaks louder than words,” goes the common saying, but this time, these words seem to speak loudly of his heart of devotion. This is someone who will act in light of what God has said. In the psalmist’s mind, there is no expiration date when it comes to the relevance of God’s Word in the affairs of daily life. His Word will lead to action. As we see at the beginning of Psalm 119, we encounter four actions* of a devoted lover of the Word:

1. Walk as a believer of the Word with devotion

Blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the LORD! Blessed are those who keep his testimonies, who seek him with their whole heart, who also do no wrong, but walk in his ways! (Psalm 119:1-3)

The first thing to notice is that the psalmist starts with the word, “blessed.” The literal translation for this word is “happy.” We can read this verse, “Happy are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the LORD!” The reason believers are happy is that they keep the Word of God! They obey it.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Psalm 16:11)

David recognized where the most amount of joy could be found. It isn’t at the club, or among your friends. It is where the Lord is. It is where endless pleasure is found. If God is the source of full joy, then being in His will will lead to a deep life of joy and pleasure in Him.

Now what does it look like to be a happy Christian? Is it someone who just says, “I love the Word of God?” over and over again? Maybe, but that isn’t enough. Some clear marks of a happy Christian are that they are blameless in reputation (1a), actively obedient (1b, 3), protective of Scripture (2a), and a first-class pursuer of God (2b).

2. Embrace the purpose of the Word with conviction

You have commanded your precepts to be kept diligently. Oh that my ways may be steadfast in keeping your statutes! (Psalm 119:4-5)

The second action of a devoted lover of the Word of God is that they seek to understand what the purpose of the Bible is. What is the reason for why God gave us His Word? He has set up this world in such a way as to fix this purpose: God’s Word has been given to us so that we would keep them diligently. You may read it, study it, memorize it, meditate on it, but if you don’t keep it, if you don’t follow what it says, you are twisting the Scriptures.

All other religions that say they believe the Bible claim that it teaches all sorts of false doctrine, and it warps the purpose of the Bible, and most don’t even know they’re doing it! If I wrote you instructions on how to get to my mom’s house, and you start reading the instructions over and over again, go and talk to your friends about how great these instructions are, sing songs about how great my mom is, even memorize it, but you never follow my instructions, you completely ignored its purpose! Yet, this is what many people do with the Bible. They will spend time in the Bible, not to keep it in their hearts, but to make themselves look good in front of others. Or to convince their parents that they do believe in God. All the while, God’s instructions are being ignored. This can’t be!

Now after pointing to the purpose of the Bible, the psalmist turns to pray to God, knowing the purpose, and asking God for strength to be able to keep it. His focus goes from speaking of those who are happy in God to now taking responsibility to live out what he just described. This is the psalmist’s desire: to keep and obey the precious Word of God.

The Bible is not just some book to the psalmist, even a book that you occasionally show reverence for. This is a book that captures the psalmist to crave and hunger for more of. He desires to be strengthened by it because he knows he is weak without it. Your familiarity with the Word is a good indicator of whether you know you are weak or not. Exposure to the Word is what will make you aware of your weakness, and seeing it for what it is and what it’s for will strengthen you.

3. Receive the blessings of the Word with thanksgiving

Then I shall not be put to shame, having my eyes fixed on all your commandments. I will praise you with an upright heart, when I learn your righteous rules. (Psalm 119:6-7)

When you are tempted, remember: every act of obedience will produce a blessing from God. What’s the blessing that we find here? No shame. If you walk as a believer of the Word and embrace the purpose of the Word, then you will not be ashamed!

Here is what the Bible does to your life: it exposes sin in every area of your life. At first, that sounds bad. But imagine this: if you have a disease, and need to know where it’s located, you would want to have the best equipment available to find it and then get rid of it, right? Every time you expose yourself to the Bible, you always have two options: you can either run away and ignore what it says, or you can turn from your sins and ask for forgiveness.

For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. (James 1:23-24)

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

The blessing not only removes shame, but it also provides thanksgiving in your heart. This isn’t the kind of thanksgiving that is fake, or shallow, but “upright.” It means to be smooth or straight. Receiving the Word with praise and thanks honors the One who gave the Word. God’s Word is identified as rules that are righteous. In other words, these are what the divine Judge has ruled to be right. To receive the Word in this way, demonstrating understanding of what the Word really is, will lead to a heart that praises God the way He should be praised.

When was the last time you gave thanks to God for the Scriptures? When did you last thank God for opening your eyes to see the true nature of Scripture?

4. Ask God to help you obey the Word with resolve

I will keep your statutes; do not utterly forsake me! (Psalm 119:8)

The final action of a lover of the Word of God is prayer. All prior actions have been a willingness on the part of the happy Christian to involve the Bible to play a primary role in one’s life. The psalmist returns to pray to God, first offering a big promise: “I will keep your statutes.” Statutes here means what the divine Lawgiver has laid down. The psalmist is determined to follow the Law of God.

Many people in the church are scared to make a concrete decision, either towards God or away from God. They don’t want to be seen as someone who rejects God, but they also fear what it will cost to fully follow God. To be entirely wicked or entirely righteous is facing two extremes that seems equally scary. Many choose to be right in the middle, and come to church, but not commit much else. In today’s day, this is what is called apathy. In Scripture, Jesus calls this being lukewarm:

“‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.’” (Revelation 3:15-16)

This is like the person who says they’re coming to your house, and then halfway there, turns around and then tells you, “Well, at least I got there some of the way!” This is like someone who says they will clean their room, and the moment they can see a little bit of the floor after picking up some clothes, says, “Ok, I’m done!” Keep your focus on the Word! Don’t even give your parents a chance to tell you to read your Bible. Get to reading! But see that God doesn’t want you to be half-hearted in your willingness to do so.

The last thing the psalmist writes is for God to not forsake or forget him. He knows his weakness in failing to fully obey God in everything, but he also knows that God is gracious to His people and will help him keep the Word. He also knows God is just and can rightly forsake him should He choose to.

Notice that the psalmist doesn’t turn to anyone else but God to strengthen him and also forgive him when he fails. If you do not truly desire to have a strong desire to obey God’s Word, it will show in your lack of prayer to Him.

Our plea

In the end, our prayer is that every youth will come to know the God of the Word by way of the Word of God. This year, as it is for every year before, is to pray and trust that God will draw each youth to Him to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, and to grow in His grace and knowledge for the glory of the King. I hope this will be your prayer as well.

*I have been greatly helped by Seth Kniep’s helpful work, Loving God’s Word: 7 Strategies for Slaying Bible Apathy for these insights.

God’s Design and Purpose for the Family: An Introduction – Part 2

by Josh Liu

Although College Life has ended, it will be helpful to highlight certain principles concerning the biblical foundations of marriage and family that we talked about during the school year.

(Again, the following notes are adapted from Dr. John Street of The Master’s University and Seminary.)

We can identify two kinds of families in the Bible: spiritual families and physical families.

Every person belongs to a spiritual family. Several passages in Scripture refer to believers as the spiritual family or children of God (1 Tim. 3:15; Eph. 2:19; 3:15; John 1:12; Rom. 8:16-17; Gal. 3:26; 1 John. 3:10). Other passages refer to unbelievers as children of the wicked one or of the devil (John 8:38-44; Matt. 13:38-39; Acts 13:10; 1 John 3:10). These spiritual families are based on one’s relationship to God and have eternal consequences. To become a child of God, one needs to be redeemed (e.g., have Christ’s redemptive work applied to a repentant sinner); otherwise, he remains a child of wrath (Eph. 2:3). The spiritual position, or family, of belonging to God is accompanied with commands of how one ought to conduct himself (Matt. 5:9ff; Mark 3:31-35). The spiritual family continues after our physical death (Rev. 21:7).

Every person also belongs to a physical family. God has defined the design, purpose, and responsibilities of physical families. While every human being is related—descendants of Adam and Eve—God intentionally creates family units through marriage (Gen. 2:24-25). This particular physical family is known as the traditional (nuclear, immediate) family, consisting of a husband, wife, and/or children and important childrearing responsibilities for unmarried children (Gen. 2:24; cf. Ps. 28:1-4; Eph. 5:22-6:4; Col. 3:18-21; 1 Pet. 3:1-7). The Bible also refers to the kind of family that would be regarded as extended family, including grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.—any person with a near biological connection or association (cf. Gen. 10:5ff; Ruth 2:1; Luke 2:4; 1 Tim. 5; Mark 7). Physical families are based on birth, marriage, or adoption. The physical family is only enjoyed while on earth.

While it is the physical family that we seek to expound upon, it must be emphasized that one’s membership to the spiritual family of God is imperative. If you do not know God as your heavenly Father—through submitting to Christ as your Lord and Savior by faith and repentance and depending on His death and resurrection to save you from your sins—then you cannot “do” marriage and family God’s way; without faith, it is impossible to please God (Heb. 11:6; cf. Matt. 7:21-23; Is. 64:6). A fulfilling or “successful” (e.g., well-put together, enviable, conflict-free, “full-quiver,” etc.) marriage and family are secondary to being right with God. Even now, you are able to turn to Christ by faith and repentance and be accepted as a child of God.

As we now examine the physical family, we highlight several specific facts about what the family is and what it should be from God’s perspective.

First, the Bible teaches that the family—specifically marriage—is God’s response to man’s aloneness; marriage is a place where the deepest kind of friendships are formed and experienced. At the beginning of creation, God specifically created a helper for Adam (Gen. 2:18). The spouse is described as a companion, which refers to one who comes alongside or one who accompanies (Prov. 2:17; Mal. 2:14). In other words, the marriage relationship is to be a rich companionship. This one-flesh companion can be further characterized as the biblical friend: a true friend loves, is committed, and loyal (Prov. 17:17; 27:10); avoids flattery and rebukes gently (Prov. 29:5); is concerned about being a positive influence (Prov. 12:26); is sensitive to the likes and dislikes of others (Prov. 25:17, 20; 27:14); encourages and cheers others up (Prov. 27:9); sharpens others (Prov. 27:17); and is willing to sacrifice self and serve others (John 15:13-15).

Second, the Bible teaches that the husband-wife relationship should take precedence over other human relationships (Gen. 2:24). At creation, God intended for the spousal relationship to be permanent and the parent-child relationship to be temporary (e.g., in terms of authority-submission). Parents are to raise their children to leave the home and hold fast to their own spouse (cf. 1 Cor. 14:35). The primary relationship in the home is the husband-wife relationship.

Third, the Bible teaches that the family is to be a place where people are shown honor and respect. Children, in particular, are commanded to honor, not despise, curse, disgrace, scorn, or mock their parents (Deut. 5:16; Prov. 19:26; 20:20; 23:22; 30:17; Mark 7:10; Eph. 6:2). The husband is to delicately care for his wife (1 Pet. 3:7); the wife is to respect her husband (Eph. 5:33); the father is to treat his children with dignity (1 Tim. 3:4) and not provoke them to anger (Col. 3:21; Eph. 6:4); and children are to regard their own family (1 Tim. 5:4).

Fourth, the Bible teaches that the family is a classroom in which the most important lessons of life are taught and learned. Parents have a responsibility to pass on God’s greatness to the next children by instructing them of God’s Word (Deut. 4:9-10; 6:6-25; Josh. 4:21-24; Ps. 78:2-7). Parents have a primary role in the education of their children (though this is not necessarily an argument supporting the priority of homeschooling!).

Fifth, the Bible teaches that the family is a place of safety. God intended the family to be a help during the turmoil of life, which may include social rejection or ridicule, financial distress, physical illnesses or diseases, and spiritual challenges and weaknesses. For example, the husband safely trusts his wife (Prov. 31:11-12); the husband cherishes and nourishes his wife (Eph. 5:28-29); the husband shows his wife honor (1 Pet. 3:7); the God-fearing wife is a blessing to her home (Prov. 14:1; 31:26-28); spouses find satisfaction in one another (Prov. 5:15-20); the family provides for their household (1 Tim. 5:8); the husband provides for his children (Prov. 13:22; cf. 2 Cor. 12:14); and a wise son blesses his father (Prov. 10:1). The family (husband, wife, children) are meant to be a source of encouragement, help, support, gladness, and safety for one another.

This is a sampling of a God-honoring marriage and family—God’s intended design, responsibilities, and blessings. This biblical foundation ought to compel God’s children to prepare for and “do” marriage and family His way. Remember also to carefully watch over your soul by not idolizing (demanding, living for, sinning when not receiving or sinning in order to get) the blessings of the biblical marriage and family. Regardless of the physical family God has brought you into, you can glorify Him in your responses and hope in belonging to the eternal, spiritual family of God.

The Kingdom of Heaven Belongs to Such as These

by Katherine Lam

For those that don’t know, I’ve never been a “kids” person. I grew up being the youngest of three so I had no experience in taking care of a younger sibling. At church, you would have never seen me play with the kids, let alone ask to hold someone’s child. But surely, God challenged me to grow in my love for children as I was looking into joining a ministry to serve in at Lighthouse.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there. (Matthew 19:13-14)

There’s a good number of options when looking at what ministries to serve in, but as I was looking through the list, the children’s ministry particularly caught my eye – not in the best way exactly. The thought of joining made me uncomfortable and I wanted to shy away from it. Yet as I recalled from Scripture Jesus’ tender love for children, I couldn’t help but to recognize my lack thereof and how I needed to grow in it as we’re called to exemplify Christ in all things. Serving in children’s ministry would provide such an opportunity. After some prayer and consideration, I asked to join the Sparklers ministry serving the three- to five-year olds.

Now reflecting upon my time in Sparklers for the past four years, I can confidently say that God has grown my love for children. I still don’t gravitate towards them like some other people naturally do at the church, but I do take delight in developing a relationship with each of them. It’s fun to see their individual personalities come out as you get to know them, but it’s also bittersweet to witness when they first enter from Fireflies to when they move up to Sonlight as you get personally attached.

But don’t get me wrong, there are the frustrating, not-as-easy discipline moments with them as well. There’s even been a time I cried! But what a tremendous joy it is to be in a position to shepherd them, share the Gospel, and hopefully make a lasting impact on their souls.

I encourage you, if you think you disqualify from serving in the children’s ministry because of your lack of love towards them, to pray and reconsider. Ask God to give you a heart for them. Not only is it a way to serve the church body, but it’s also a way to grow in Christlikeness.

God’s Design and Purpose for the Family: An Introduction – Part 1

by Josh Liu

Marriage, which is instituted and defined by God, is under constant attack. Nuclear (traditional), legally separated, divorced, single-parent, extended, childless, blended, and stepfamily—the marriage and family situations and issues are complex. By God’s grace, His Scriptures reveal His design and purpose of marriage and family and are sufficient to address all situations and issues. For the 2017-2018 academic year, College Life seeks to equip its students with a biblical foundation of marriage and family.

(The following notes are adapted from Dr. John Street of The Master’s University and Seminary.)

Why is it important to know what the family is?

First, many today are minimizing the importance of the family or have erroneous ideas about what the family is.

For example, the United Nations General Assembly declared the International Year of the Family 1994, stating “Families assume diverse forms and functions from one country to another, and within each national society. These express the diversity of individual preferences and societal conditions.” In other words, the diversity of culture reflects a diversity of families. Therefore, there is no single definition of family or one model; anyone can (re)define what marriage and family are. Whenever man departs from the counsel of God, chaos and sin ensue. Much of the world has sought to indoctrinate every person’s mind, particularly young people, to believe that they are the authority in deciding issues related to marriage and family. By the power of the Holy Spirit, we must return to God’s Word—God defines what the family is. Since God has provided instruction for the family, man ought to know and obey what God has commanded.

Second, one of Satan’s primary objectives is to destroy the family.

Scripture describes believers as involved in a spiritual war (Eph. 6:11-12). Satan and his demonic forces are opposed to God and all that God stands for. Because of God’s design and purpose of the family, if Satan can undermine the family, then he can destroy society; family and the family unit are critical for society.

Satan knows the importance of the family. Satan knows that:

  1. The command to multiply, fill, and subdue the earth was given to a family unit (Gen. 1:28-29). The family is the basic building block of every other social unit or institution. So, the family is unique and irreplaceable in God’s creation. God starts His revelation to man with extended teaching about marriage and the family; He did not start revelation by talking about the church, civil government, or other social institutions.
  2. Distortions and deficiencies in the family will produce distortions and deficiencies in every other human institution. The proliferation of fields such as social workers, child protection services, elementary school counselors, child psychologists, Freudian psychoanalysts, arbitrators, divorce lawyers and planners, teen pregnancy centers, and so on at least highlight possible consequences of broken marriages and families. Also, an ungodly family member can have an impact on other family members (see Ex. 20:5; Josh. 7; Prov. 12:4; 14:1; 21:9; Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21).
  3. The family is a means of reflecting the communicable aspects of God’s nature. For example, the family is a means of reflecting the nature of His relationship with His people: husband-wife (Eph. 5:22-33; Rev. 19:9); father-child (Deut. 32:6-18; Rom. 8:12-17; 2 Cor. 6:16-18; John 1:12).
  4. Family relationships affect our relationship with God. For example, the intimate filling of the Holy Spirit will manifest itself in submission in family relationships (Eph. 5:18ff), and a husband’s lack of care for his wife will obstruct his prayers (1 Pet. 3:7).
  5. Family life is given among the requirements for leadership in the church (1 Tim. 3:1-7; 5:8). If a man fails in the home, he is disqualified from being an overseer in the church. A man’s character and conduct among the most private and personal sphere of his life will reveal whether or not he is the kind of man God calls to shepherd His church.

Let this brief (and incomplete) introduction of the importance of the family prime you for further study.

  • God holds marriage and family in high regard (cf. Heb. 13:4). Have you sought to glorify Him by preparing for or “doing” marriage and family God’s way by establishing a biblical foundation?
  • As single people during their undergraduate careers, we would do well to prepare through biblical study and spiritual discipline (cf. Ezra 7:10; 1 Tim. 4:8).
  • There is an enemy who opposes God and seeks to undermine His will, design, and purposes in creation. Stand firm on the truth of God’s Word to illumine your path in glorifying God with your family (cf. Prov. 3:5-6; Ps. 119:105).

Some Lessons from Being on Youth Staff

by Hosanna Koo

This is my first year serving on youth staff, and I’ve been touched by the thoughtfulness and maturity of the youth as well as the joy and steadfastness of the other staff. The eager and ready hearts of the youth and the sacrificial love of the staff serve as amazing testaments to the power of God. Many of the youth at Lighthouse have grown up in the graces of this church and have been lucky recipients of the sound teaching that brings to light our state as sinners and the greatness of God to save rebels. Youth is an age when they take the knowledge that they have been taught as children and seek to gain deeper understanding of what it means to be a Christian.

Personally, the most prominent thing I’ve learned so far from serving on youth staff is to be patient. As with other children’s ministries, every week can look the same. While talking with Pastor John at the youth retreat, he mentioned that those six years spent in youth can seem like six years of no fruit. At first I was alarmed and admittedly, a bit discouraged, but I was reminded that God works in his own timing, and he does not need broken vessels to do his work. We as teachers impatiently and pridefully expect our preparation and words to have a life changing impact upon the children we teach, but God doesn’t need us. Yet at the same time, how amazing is it that God would use those who are weak to carry out his will? I, along with the other youth staff, are just one little tool that God is using to shape the hearts of the youth.

God doesn’t promise that we would see the fruit of our labors. If we were promised, wouldn’t it be so easy to labor for the pride of our reward coming to fruition? Week after week, I must remind myself that God IS at work and he IS active in the hearts of the youth in many ways that we might not be able to clearly see. He is a living, breathing God. He uses the staff to minister to the youth, but I am again reminded that we are not their primary teachers. Their parents provide primary teaching and guidance, and as youth staff, we support parents to instill in the youth the gospel and a love for God. We must trust in God as the only one who is able to save, who works in his own timing. God is the only one who causes any sort of spiritual growth and who will cause the youth to bear fruit in due time. We are called to be faithful with what God has given us, planting seeds in the hearts of the youth, and praying that God would grow these youth to be men and women who are solid in faith and who build their lives upon his word.