by Pastor John Kim

DTR2 – sounds like a movie sequel title. Just like how a lot of people look at the issue of dating. Many have a movie-based theology toward dating and it shows, with the preoccupation on “attraction” and “the magic moment” and the emphasis on physical appearance or the “magnetic” personality. In having discussions with people about dating, it almost seems like God is just a means to get them to their own ends. God’s glory is not the ultimate goal. It is self-satisfaction, thinking that if I find that “perfect” mate, I’ll be happy, secure, no longer lonely, and whatever else is on the checklist.

This is a sad testimony to the sell-out of Christians to a worldly philosophy of life. When we talk about being worldly, it is more than just about being materialistic. It is about following the thinking of the world. It is about being conformed to worldly wisdom instead of heavenly wisdom.

James 3:13-18 gives a very clear description about the kind of wisdom that characterizes a Christian that really seeks to honor God:

Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

How do you detect earthly, natural, and demonic wisdom? By the fruit. Where you see bitter jealousy and selfish ambition, there is an arrogance that contradicts the truth of God. You see disorder and every evil thing. Is it no wonder that couples who apply worldly wisdom seem to have this kind of fruit as a result? There is a lot of selfishness, a lot of arrogance, a lot of jealousy, whether it be in being jealous of what others have (as in a dating relationship in general), or being jealous that someone has the person that “I claimed” and didn’t get.

Colossians 2:6-8 gives the kind of perspective that I think all who are desiring to date should consider:

Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude. See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ.

Take a long hard look at your life. Are you walking in such a way that shows you are in submission to the Lordship of Christ in your life? Have you been firmly rooted in the Word of God and built up in Christ so that your faith is solid and established? Do you receive biblical instruction with gratitude? Too often I see those who are so desperate to get into dating relationships compromise the basic fundamental priorities in life, namely the pursuit of holiness and the practice of godliness. Christ’s glory should be the first concern, not my own desires being met. This is a fundamental foundational truth that needs to be understood clearly. But again, too many pay lip service and as a result, the compromises start coming fast and hard. It starts in little areas like kissing and touching. I can probably say with no exaggeration (okay, a little bit) that there are THOUSANDS of people who have told me that you can’t be legalistic about kissing and touching and all that stuff. Being legalistic – I hate that just as much as anyone else. But I am not talking about a man-made standard for the sake of seeking man’s approval. I’m talking about building a biblical world-view that exercises heavenly wisdom so that you might see the end result of righteousness be clearly evident.

So the question again comes up, “Was ist das ohre weltenschauung?” What is your worldview? The framework of how you view all of life will reveal the authority source from which you base your wisdom. Is it really the Word of God? Or is it the word of Oprah? Dr. Phil? Edwards Cinemas?

Start from the ground up. Work on your worldview and make sure the foundation rests on Christ.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand.