by Pastor John Kim

It was great to see so many people come out last night to the first meeting of DTR2. I hope to post my thoughts and highlight some points so that those who weren’t there might be able to have something as well. We will hope to put the messages on audio and video possibly in the future.

Deconstructing a wrong world view is something that most of us don’t think about because we don’t think at a world view level. We typically just think for the moment and react to situations instead of examining the foundations of our thinking and see if what we have in place is solid. Many Christians don’t realize that a lot of their thinking has been impacted by worldly philosophy, deception, and the traditions of man instead of the Word of God. It’s no wonder that the decision making process that many utilize is so skewed because the working parts are not healthy and primed with the truth.

Colossians 2:8 says, “See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ.”

The Scriptures are clear in warning us from having the world be our primary influence. We must fight this because if we don’t, we will find ourselves easily affected and distracted, not to mention deceived.

Romans 12:2 challenges us to not be conformed to this world but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. This is really a crucial point to consider, especially when we address the issue of dating relationships. I think that too many Christians have allowed their view toward dating relationships to be molded by the world to the point where there is no discernable difference in how they conduct themselves in the pursuit of a relationship, the maintaining of a relationship, and even in the ending of a relationship.

One of the things that many Christians will bring up is that the Bible doesn’t explicitly say anything about dating. While the term “dating” or the concept is not mentioned directly (because they didn’t have anything like that back in the day), the principles that one must employ are clearly given in Scripture. Exercising wisdom, discerning character, practicing sexual purity, learning to resolve conflicts, and many other issues that relate to dating relationships are addressed with clear instruction from our Lord through His Word.

One of the things that I presented was the use of the Reformation principles in the Sola statements. While I know I might have taken a little liberty in transferring the ideas, the principles still remain true.

Sola Scriptura – Scripture alone
Scripture alone is to be our authority when it comes to seeking wisdom and instruction for the issue of dating. Don’t fall for the tickling ear preacher who just wants you to have your “dreams come true.” The Word of God alone is sufficient to teach us, reprove us, correct us, and train us in righteousness in all areas of life, including dating relationships. Don’t be a fool and place your trust in something other than God’s Word.

Sola Gratia – Grace alone
Just as we are saved by grace alone, we are sustained in our Christian life by grace alone. God’s grace is what is sufficient for us and we need to really look to His grace in dealing with the many challenges and trials that come in life, especially in dating relationships (or the lack thereof). Just as the apostle Paul found comfort in the grace of God alone when faced with the thorns in his life, so must we lay our lives in the hands of our gracious God in facing the rough and tumble world of dating relationships.

Sola Fide – Faith alone
Trusting in the Lord is vital as we cannot afford to try and manipulate things by our own wisdom or power. When things don’t work out the way we hope for, faith in our good God who makes all things work together for good is something that will never fail us.

Solus Christus – Christ alone
Just as Christ alone is the way to salvation, Christ alone must be our first love. He cannot be challenged for the supremacy of our affections. Christ alone must be Lord. Christ must be the one that we submit our lives to and there can be no other challenge to His primacy. When we get involved in dating relationships, it is easy to let our dating partner take over our every waking thought and take the place of Christ in our affections. This is such a dangerous place to go – so don’t go there.

Soli Deo Gloria – God’s glory alone
Just as every part of our lives is to be to God’s glory, even our eating and drinking, how we approach dating relationships must be considered with God’s glory being at stake. We cannot afford to let any part, no matter how minor or mundane escape this point. Too many people want to carve out portions of their life for their own glory and fulfillment, even at the expense of bringing dishonor to God’s name.

Remember what Jesus said about what you build your house on. You can build your house on the rock of His words, His truth, and when the storms come, your house will stand firm because your foundation is firm. But if you build your house on the sand of worldly opinion and empty deception, you will get slammed hard by the storms of reality and great will be your fall.

Inspect your foundations now – you might find it rotting with hardly anything to hold up your life. Replace it with the sure foundation of the solid rock of Christ and His truth – you will not regret it.