by Tia Han

Hello Lighthouse Family!

Before I begin, I just wanted to say that a few LBC members agreed to do a few things should I write this article: Jinny agreed to perform an interpretive dance at the next member’s meeting (Jinny, please read Exodus 20:13), and the Cho-los agreed to stop teaching Eden bad words like “hobbit.” :]

Dreaming aside (haha), it’s been four years since I’ve graduated and moved back to San Jose, but I still love this church family. Like Paul says to the church in Philippi, “I hold you in my heart” (Phil 1:7) and “yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus” (Phil 1:8). I think of you, church family, and can still think of many among you who are like Pauls, Loises, Eunices, Barnabases, and Epaphrases to me. I’m now 300-something miles away and four years out of regular fellowship with all of you; but your teaching, love, encouragement, equipping, and friendship continue to bless me to this day. How good He is.

What have I been up to? Well, aside from finishing grad school (God-willing, one more year to go), work, and traveling for all things weddings-related, church planting and family have been two of the biggest fish in this pond.

I began church planting with City Church last fall. Initially, it was a little rough with the lack of stability, but we now have three Gospel Groups (Bible studies) going and had our service launch on June 6! Most of my time in church planting is spent in meeting up with people, most of whom are not yet believers, and in discipleship relationships. How has it been? Exhausting, humbling, and a joy. God is building His church, and I’ve been a front-row observer of His work of salvation in the lives of a few individuals since the inception of this church, one of whom was my best friend from the fourth grade. Her husband has been attending Gospel Group as well, and a couple weeks ago, they gave birth to their first son. Months ago, when she first found out about her pregnancy, she hinted to me something along the lines of, “Had God not brought me to this church when He did, I might have thought nothing of abortion.” (She had been making plans to go to law school and did not plan to have children for a few years yet.) Seeing their new family of three at the hospital a couple weeks ago was such a testimony to His sovereign grace.

I’ve really been challenged over the course of this year to consider the bride and body of Christ more carefully – what makes a church, what makes for a biblical church, and what it means in terms of my love and commitment toward the church that Christ gave up His life for her, broken and not-quite-spotless as she may currently be. This past winter, when I struggled with hard doubts about my involvement with our church plant, it was actually those among you, Lighthouse, who encouraged me to stay committed and persevere in love (thank you).

Family, too, has had its difficulties and joys. As some of you may remember, the primary reason I moved back home four years ago was to spend more time with my family, as half of my immediate family and all of my extended family, except for a few, do not know or love Christ. When I first came home, despite knowing that salvation is “the power of God for salvation” (Romans 1:16), I honestly grew frustrated when they weren’t “getting” it (as if sin and the gospel could be reduced to an intellectual issue). But my frustration and discouragement didn’t just stem from lack of immediate fruit. Perhaps my greatest source of discouragement was what I found in my own heart. I really did desire to adorn the gospel with an obedient life and display gospel-adorning love towards my family, but whenever I examined my life, I only saw failure (and more failure). I only saw a heart stubbornly entrenched in self-love and sin – a heart so small in love for Jesus.

But it’s been something of a broken but joyful process learning more sincerely that this gospel is not only for those who have never submitted to Christ as Lord and Savior. This gospel is also still for me, an embattled child who is striving to please her Father (not for His acceptance but for His delight) and do His work. Four years later, I still grow discouraged, and I’m not immune to the hard temptations that come with ministering to family. I still want to give up sometimes, especially when circumstances and sin become unbearable, humanly speaking. But herein lies my hope: “He is the source of your life in Christ Jesus, whom God made our wisdom and our righteousness and sanctification and redemption” (1 Corinthians 1:30). Wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption are found in the person of Jesus Christ – not me, not the individuals of my family, not the convincing arguments of a theologian or “saint”…Jesus Christ.

Piper got it right; life really is war. And with both church planting and family, He’s teaching me to love Him with my chief love, fight for souls like I really believe the gospel is true, and pray fervently.

Please pray with me, that I might stand firm and give honor to the Savior as I continue to sow and labor, trusting that He will bring gospel transformation where I can’t even imagine it. Pray I would be a rejoicer, not a grumbler, as I wait with faith. In fact, let’s stand firm and persevere in love and gospel ministry together, Lighthouse.

I love you, Lighthouse Family! Shine the light!

Editor’s Note: Tia may have been too humble to mention it, but she also maintains a blog that consistently puts out great gospel-centered content. If you’re looking for something more to read, it’s a great place to start.