by Elder Mike Chon

When you have multiple children, there are exponentially more opportunities for conflict. Since my children are relatively young, most of their conflicts deal with wanting a certain toy that one of their siblings is playing with. This can lead to unkind words, and even worse, to unkind actions. Whether it is exercising their brute force and taking a toy away or saying that they don’t want to play with their siblings anymore there is always a conflict waiting to happen. This happens occasionally and maybe only with boys, but my older son will randomly punch or hit my younger son. I think this is something that all younger brothers deal with when growing up, but it definitely can cause a conflict in the home. No matter what the offense is, my children go through all the emotions of being angry, sad, running away from the problem, or retaliating all within a matter of minutes. After a few words to them they are quick to come together, ask for forgiveness, receive forgiveness, hug together and immediately return to playing together as though nothing happened. Did I mention that all of this happens within a few minutes? Every time I watch this happen, which can be multiple times in a single day, I am amazed by how quickly they are willing to forgive each other and restore their relationship.

I have seen conflicts in adults that have taken weeks or even months to reconcile and restore. I am always thankful to God whenever a conflict can be reconciled and the relationship is restored no matter how long it takes. On the other hand, I have witnessed relationships that have never been reconciled and restored. I wonder why it is that as we grow up into adulthood, understanding the forgiveness of the cross, that as believers we have such a difficult time extending forgiveness toward those that have offended us. I believe that every believer can forgive any offense, no matter how big or how small, by the power of the Spirit that resides in each of us and the experience of receiving forgiveness from God.

It is clear from Scripture that God commands believers to forgive others because of what Christ has done (Col. 3:13). Not only are we commanded to forgive others but there should be no limit to how often we forgive one another (Matt. 18:21-22). As well Christ shares a parable to show how serious it is for believers to truly forgive completely from the heart (Matt. 18:23-35). If we understand how serious this is issue of forgiveness is to God, why is it so difficult for believers to forgive each other? If a confessing believer chooses to refuse to forgive another person, Scripture is clear that this person does not understand the significance of the cross in their life. I understand that there are very difficult situations that may take more time than others for God to soften your heart, but if you are against reconciliation and are unable to forgive someone else, than the only conclusion is that you never truly experienced or understand the forgiveness of the cross. May we continue to ask God to humble our hearts and help us to not forget the cross so that we would not be easily offended and quick to forgive.