Monthly Archives: May 2013

When are You Ready to Date?

by Hansol An

Recent events and conversations I’ve had have made me think that it might be a good time to discuss dating again. I gave a message on dating last year so some of what follows may be familiar to some but I thought it was time for a refresher.

The way the world defines love and the way the Bible defines love are diametrically opposed to one another. The world would have you believe that love is the fulfillment of your desires for intimacy, both emotional and physical. On the emotional side are feelings of euphoria, happiness, satisfaction, ecstasy, and excitement. When someone in a movie or on TV says “I love you,” aren’t they really saying “I love the way you make me feel right now?” But these feeling are often temporary or at the very least, understood to be conditional and subject to change. That’s why people say they can fall in and out of love. On the physical side we know that the world is often referring to sexual pleasure or passion. The term “making love” is very revealing of the way the world views love, basically reducing it to mean the same thing as having sex. The word “LOVE” is used too loosely in today’s culture. That’s why people date. They want this kind of love, all or in part, but only until it doesn’t suit their desires any more. Then they look for love in the next person. This pursuit of love is what we commonly refer to as dating.

The way that the Bible defines love, or God’ definition of love is clearly different. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a says,

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”

Does that sound like the world’s definition? Does it say anything about your feelings? Does it say anything about your sexual fulfillment? The difference is that the world’s definition of love is all about satisfying selfish desires. God’s definition is sacrificial and puts your feelings aside for the sake of others and God’s glory. Jesus was the ultimate example for us to follow.

The world tells us that love is fleeting. You can fall in love and out of love very quickly. So if you’re in a dating relationship and you’re no longer in love with them, then dump them and move on. Who cares how many times you’ve said “I love you?” Who cares how many times you’ve kissed that person? Who cares? God cares because his Word says that love never ends. What does that tell us about the couple who proclaims to love each other, then breaks up? Was that really love? They probably genuinely felt something but only so long as it was convenient to them. Did their love bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, endure all things? Did their love never end?

We need to change the way we view dating and its goal of finding “love.” This can be challenging because dating is non-biblical, meaning it’s not explicitly mentioned in the Bible. So what should we do? As a believer how do we determine the goal of dating? Is it marriage? Yes, it is the vehicle in which most Christians pursue marriage, but we have to remember that whether it’s dating or marriage or anything else, God’s glory is always our primary purpose! We as Christians should not date for our own emotional or physical fulfillment, but to pursue the goal of God’s glory and His intention for a man and a woman: marriage.

If marriage truly is the goal of dating one should be ready for, or reasonably close to being ready for, marriage. As mentioned before, dating is not specifically addressed in the Bible, so no one can tell another how ready they have to be to date. No one can tell another how long the dating period should be. But marriage is addressed in the Bible and if marriage is the goal and not dating itself, it stand to reason that dating should be minimized. It shouldn’t be prolonged longer than necessary to confirm that marriage should be pursued between a particular couple. The longer a couple dates the natural inclination will be to begin to act like a married couple in emotional attachment, in physical expressions and in other ways. The danger is that the couple will give too much of themselves to each other, when they might not end up getting married. Until a commitment in made, there are no guarantees.

So the question you need to answer is: Are you ready, and mature enough as a believer, to fulfill your role as a husband or wife? Are you ready to forsake all others? Ladies, are you ready to submit your life to a man? Guys, are you ready to love a woman as Christ loved the church? These questions should be examined and carefully considered along with other biblical responsibilities of marriage before dating is even considered. Dating is a choice and ultimately, so is love. There must be a conscious consideration of what is required before entering into a relationship with the goal of marriage in mind. We are called to be set apart from the world and dating is one area where we can practice our distinctiveness in Christ.

A Tale of Two Seasons

by Elder Johnny Kim

The start of the month of April signals the start of the Major League Baseball season and the start of fans flocking to stadiums everywhere to enjoy America’s favorite pastime. Following the off-season hiatus, excited fans are eager to start rooting for their home teams and to start cheering on their favorite players. However, save for the most committed fans, some of that excitement will inevitably wane as the season progresses. At 162 regular season games, the baseball season is the longest out of all other major professional sports in terms of the number of games (82 games for the NBA and NHL, 34 games for the MLS, and 16 games for the NFL) so understandably, only the most die-hard baseball fans will follow each and every game.

Even the professional baseball players themselves realize that they are in for a long season and it’s always interesting to note how that affects their attitudes towards the game. When a sports writer interviews any given player or manager whose team might be off to a horrible start, the response is almost always along the lines of, “There’s still plenty of season left to turn things around!” Likewise, a player who might be going through a terrible hitting slump early on might respond, “Don’t worry, I have many more at bats ahead to get back in the groove.” A long season coupled with the certainty of knowing exactly when it ends allows for the luxury of such attitudes, attitudes that certainly don’t apply off the playing field out in the real world.

Yet even as Christians, we can find ourselves harboring this same type of attitude about life in general. I would even say that the younger we are, the stronger those sentiments might be. It is easy for us to think that we are still in the early stages of the season of our lives with plenty of life left to live. If we find ourselves lazy with our spiritual disciplines, we might think to ourselves, “I’m okay, I have plenty of time to get serious about Christianity!” Likewise, given an opportunity to share the gospel with an unbeliever, we might be inclined to put it off for a more convenient time in the future. Or if we find ourselves falling for the temptations of sin over and over again, we might even rest in the thought that we have more than enough time to turn our lives around.

However, God makes it clear to us through His Word that Christians are to live a life of urgency and intentionality. James 4:14 reminds us of the brevity of our lives and that tomorrow is never a guarantee. Far from being just scare tactic, the Word here is presenting us with yet another precious truth. One doesn’t have to look any further than the front page of the newspaper for proof that indeed our season here on earth is short and can come to an end at any time. Proverbs 27:1 advises us against presuming upon the Lord to provide us with more days of life ahead. In the end, God desires for us to live our lives with urgency; urgent to know Him and everything in His Word, urgent to conform our lives to Christ’s, urgent to share Christ with people who are physically and spiritually dying all around us.

Do you live your life with a sense of urgency? Are you intentional in how you spend your days, and even hours, living for Christ? Are you doing your UTMOST to bring God the most glory TODAY? Because unlike in baseball, the time for a “late-season comeback” in life may never come at all.

To Whom Belongest Thou?

by Charles Haddon Spurgeon

From 1 Samuel 30:13

No neutralities can exist in religion. We are either ranked under the banner of Prince Immanuel, to serve and fight His battles, or we are vassals of the black prince, Satan. ‘To whom belongest thou?’

Reader, let me assist you in your response.

  • Have you been ‘born again’? If you have, you belong to Christ, but without the new birth you cannot be His.
  • In whom do you trust? For those who believe in Jesus are the sons of God.
  • Whose work are you doing? You are sure to serve your master, for he whom you serve is thereby owned to be your lord.
  • What company do you keep? If you belong to Jesus, you will fraternize with those who wear the livery of the cross. ‘Birds of a feather flock together.’
  • What is your conversation? Is it heavenly or is it earthly?
  • What have you learned of your Master?-for servants learn much from their masters to whom they are apprenticed. If you have served your time with Jesus, it will be said of you, as it was of Peter and John, ‘They took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus.’

We press the question, ‘To whom belongest thou?’ Answer honestly before you give sleep to your eyes. If you are not Christ’s you are in a hard service-Run away from your cruel master! Enter into the service of the Lord of Love, and you shall enjoy a life of blessedness. If you are Christ’s let me advise you to do four things. You belong to Jesus-obey him; let his word be your law; let His wish be your will. You belong to the Beloved, then love Him; let your heart embrace Him; let your whole soul be filled with Him. You belong to the Son of God, then trust him; rest nowhere but on him. You belong to the King of kings, then be decided for Him. Thus, without your being branded upon the brow, all will know to whom you belong.

3.12p

Weekly Links (5/10/2013)

The concept of substitution may be said  to lie at the heart of both sin and salvation. For the essence of sin is man substituting himself for God, while the essence of salvation is God substituting himself for man.

Man asserts himself against God and puts himself where only God deserves to be; God sacrifices himself for man and puts himself where only man deserves to be. Man claims prerogatives which belong to God alone; God accept penalties which belong to man alone. (John Stott)

by Richard Shin

  • This is an extremely powerful video. A must see. Takes 5 minutes.
  • Do you know the difference between judging someone and discerning truth? Whether you do or not, take a looksee at Randy Alcorn’s post on this topic here.
  • Here’s a good post by Thabiti Anyabwile on how the older members brighten the future of the local church.
  • Here is a powerful letter a mother writes to President Obama on the topic of abortion.
  • Michael Patton responds to an anonymous letter asking about why God is “hidden”. I find the response highly biblical and enlightening.
  • Paul Tautges summarizes the last chapter of Christ-Centered Biblical Counseling by Dr. Laura Hendrickson on “The Complex Mind/Body Connection.” This short summary contains a lot of good information on the mind, body, and psychiatric medication.
  • Russell Moore pens an article on being a burden to your children and humility. Click here to read through.
  • Tim Brister writes on why we are a deeply needy people.

That’s it for now. Have a great weekend, everyone

Coram Deo

Lumos Saturday Seminars

by Cesar Vigil-Ruiz

What was your experience like in your high school youth group? Did you make a lot of friends? Or were you the shy type who only opened up in front of a small, select few? Did you enjoy your time with those in your youth group, or did you secretly dislike some people there? How was the teaching? Was the Bible central in what was being preached during Bible study, or did it seem more like a footnote to what your leader really wanted to talk about? What do you remember most about your youth group? How big it was? How small it was? How many friends you made?

These are some questions I never entertained during my high school years, since I never attended my church youth group. I was always put off by some of the students’ attitudes, and no one ever reached out to me. I was actually more comfortable hanging out with some of the senior citizens in my church, since they were very friendly, and they always had stories to tell about their lives. Friendships with my peers at school were what meant a lot to me, and I always knew where they stood (since I perceived Christians to be transparently hypocritical during that age, I reasoned non-Christians weren’t because of their transparent disgust for Christianity, which made me think they were more honest).

One of the regrets of my life was the fact that I had easily judged those who went to my home church and yet had no desire to serve my peers and develop an atmosphere of fellowship among them. It wasn’t until college that I realized I wasn’t a Christian that I had wasted so many opportunities to learn from those who served specifically in the youth ministry. There was a disconnect between what I was learning in school, and what I was interested in studying: apologetics. I wanted to learn how to defend the faith before I actually had faith!

Now that God has placed in my heart a desire to serve the youth, it has been a goal of mine to train our youth to be ambassadors at their respective schools. One of the ways this youth ministry has moved in that direction is to have Saturday Seminars. These times are dedicated to specific training in issues that these youth are already encountering or will encounter in the near future. If you read anything related to youth ministry, numbers are thrown out that ¾ or more of the youth who professed faith in Christ during middle and high school enter college and abandon the faith they once held. Though statistics are not our guide for determining our approach, we do see a need for those within our church to grow deeper in their knowledge of God, that it would withstand the storms that will come their way.

As an extension of fulfilling the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20), we want to foster a ministry conducive to discipleship, which includes the preaching of the Word of God. What these seminars are intended to accomplish is to set forth a biblical worldview that meets daily life, and is immediately applicable to the youth. A couple years back, I had the privilege of going through evangelism training that encompassed the message, the man, and the method of Gospel witnessing.

This year, our focus has been on building a Christian worldview, and areas our youth can apply their faith towards. I had the privilege of presenting first the building blocks of a biblical worldview, followed up by Lumos leader Josh Liu on applying it in the areas of modesty and purity. Seeing the many changes in culture that are sure to drastically affect the world the youth will be living in, we spent another seminar on the issue of abortion, and plan on spending time focusing on the nature and history of Scripture, since it is constantly under attack.

Though we understand these seminars will not be comprehensive in scope, we hope and pray that they will be a guide for them to begin studying more in-depth the issues that we see are important for them to understand. We live in a day of moral compromise and lack of fidelity to the truth of God’s Word, when models of courage and character are hard to find. We must be in the business of discipling and modelling of spiritual maturity for those younger in the faith. I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to speak to our youth in areas that many involved in youth ministry have not deemed vital to address in the youth culture.

It is my conviction that the youth can understand more than the culture promotes. Our youth are living proof that they can listen to a 45-minute (many times, longer!) sermon, and can be challenged to live out their faith with prayer and encouragement. It is a joy and honor to play a small part in the work that God is doing in the hearts of our youth, and I pray you too can play a part in teaching the greatness of God to the next generation. What one pastor is known for saying is “Theology matters.” Theology matters extremely for the youth, since knowing who God is and who we are will radically affect the beliefs they will hold and color the many decisions they will make. Pray that our youth will be the next group of leaders in the church and will themselves be great models of godly living and bold witnessing!

Thou Shalt Love Thy Neighbour

by Charles Haddon Spurgeon

From Matthew 5:43

‘Love thy neighbour.’ Perhaps he rolls in riches, and thou art poor, and living in thy little cot side-by-side with his lordly mansion; thou seest every day his estates, his fine linen, and his sumptuous banquets; God has given him these gifts, covet not his wealth, and think no hard thoughts concerning him. Be content with thine own lot, if thou canst not better it, but do not look upon thy neighbour, and wish that he were as thyself. Love him, and then thou wilt not envy him.

Mayhap, on the other hand, thou art rich, and near thee reside the poor. Do not scorn to call them neighbour. Own that thou art bound to love them. The world calls them thy inferiors. In what are they inferior? They are far more thine equals than thine inferiors, for ‘God hath made of one blood all people that dwell upon the face of the earth.’ It is thy coat which is better than theirs, but thou art by no means better than they. They are men, and what art thou more than that? Take heed that thou love thy neighbour even though he be in rags, or sunken in the depths of poverty.

But, perhaps, you say, ‘I cannot love my neighbours, because for all I do they return ingratitude and contempt.’ So much the more room for the heroism of love. Wouldst thou be a feather-bed warrior, instead of bearing the rough fight of love? He who dares the most, shall win the most; and if rough be thy path of love, tread it boldly, still loving thy neighbours through thick and thin. Heap coals of fire on their heads, and if they be hard to please, seek not to please them, but to please thy Master; and remember if they spurn thy love, thy Master hath not spurned it, and thy deed is as acceptable to Him as if it had been acceptable to them. Love thy neighbour, for in so doing thou art following the footsteps of Christ.

3.12a

Weekly Links (5/3/2013)

“Redemption doesn’t make us more emotional (as some charismatics might suppose) or less so (as many Reformed would prefer), anymore than it makes us more or less intellectual. What redemption does to the intellect is to consecrate that intellect to God, whether the I.Q. is high or low. Similarly, the important thing is not whether you are highly emotional or not; the important thing is that whatever emotional capacities you have should be placed in God’s hands to be used according to His purposes.” (John M. Frame, Doctrine of the Knowledge of God)

by Stephen Rodgers

It’s the first Friday of the month…and that means I’ve been loading my article gun for a whole month. Enjoy!

RESOURCES

NEWS

  • If you haven’t heard about the Jason Collins / Chris Broussard story this week, you should check out Denny Burk’s coverage.  And then cruise on over to Triablogue for two very smart insights on our culture and its lack of logic.
  • Have you tried Stoogle yet?

See you Sunday!

Sparklers as a Place for Staff to Grow

by Hanka Rodgers

The more I thought about this article, the more I was convinced that God gives me the desire to serve – generally, but also specifically in Sparklers – to teach me and help me grow, rather than because people really need me to serve them.

I feel like sometimes we focus so much on the fact that we serve in our ministries that we fail to notice how much we can learn and grow in them. Honestly, if you go on a mission trip to the Czech Republic or Argentina and you come back talking only about how much you helped them, I am not sure you really understood what you were doing. The same is true for ministries at church – we do serve to serve (and ultimately to glorify God), but at the same time, God is so gracious that He helps us benefit from our ministries as well, and we would be foolish if we didn’t see it. Sometimes I am not sure if He puts me in a ministry because He wants me to serve the other person, or because He wants the ministry to serve me.

Serving the body of Christ and people who don’t know Jesus is a privilege. Philippians 2:13 says that He works in us, both to will and to work for His good pleasure – even the fact that we want to serve is only by God’s grace. Without His changing our hearts to grow the desire to serve, we would never want to serve Him or other people. Serving in Sparklers is a privilege, and that is what I would like to focus on here.

To be honest, as much as we sometimes love talking about “planting seeds” in children’s ministry, the reality is that we don’t always see much fruit. If you ask a random Sparkler what they learned the past Sunday in Sunday school, most of them will say, “I don’t know.” Or they will say they learned that Jesus had long hair. Or something equally important and spiritually enriching. It is ok. God doesn’t tell us to only do ministries that “bear much fruit”. He tells us, however, that if we stay in Him, we’ll bear much fruit (John 15:5) and that’s the kind of fruit we can see if we look at our ministries from a different perspective than the “I am serving them so much” perspective.

One of the privileges we have as staff on Sparklers is teaching. I am not planning on fighting for women’s rights to preach more at church (I did go through that stage in my early Christian life, but I promise it’s over), but I am very thankful that Sparklers are also taught by women. Not because I love preaching to people and telling them what they should do (even though I kinda like telling people what they should do), but because of the studying and the listening part. Don’t get me wrong, I am not that dumb. I know I could be studying the Bible for hours, even without teaching at Sparklers. But I am a sinner. And in my sinner’s life, really deep study of the Bible moves up the to-do list much faster when I have a lesson to teach, or a Bible study to prepare for. And you know what’s best? When you start studying for one lesson and the lesson gets changed the week before you teach. That is God’s grace. From certain perspective.

It is not just the studying though, but also the actual lesson. Every Sunday morning we all meet before the service to listen to the person who is teaching that day. Everybody always first teaches the lesson in front of all the staffers, so that we can criticize – excuse me, encourage – him or her and share some comments. Seriously though, it is one of the times I am very thankful for. There have been lessons that made me thankful for the truth of the gospel more than “adult” sermons. I myself just taught a lesson on Acts 5, where God sends an angel to let the apostles, who were thrown in jail for preaching the gospel, out of prison. I talked about God’s amazing power and the amazing power of the Holy Spirit who can do great things through us – not because we are so good, but because He is so powerful. It was the Holy Spirit who gave the apostles words, courage, and wisdom to teach God’s Word, and I have the same Holy Spirit as they did. That is quite encouraging to know when you mess up the “morning teaching training” in front of the adults, and you feel like those kids won’t learn anything from you that day.

Another great advantage of serving in Sparklers is that children are so honest. We should all do our best to show everybody around us how great God is, and be good examples. However, with adults we sometimes get away with things. Adults won’t ask their parents what was Mr. This-and-That doing with his phone (that had the word “Facebook” on the screen) while pastor Patrick was preaching. You also won’t see adults innocently copy some of your sinful behavior or calling you out on it when you do something wrong.

We don’t get to only listen to the kids tell us things, but we should also listen to us talking to the kids. In some way we are getting used to telling kids all the time they are sinners. Whenever they disobey, we try to show them that in disobeying us, they disobeyed God. And we try to help them understand that they disobey because they are selfish sinners. But do WE understand what great sinners we are? Do we try to find the “heart issue” behind our disobedience, or do we only care about “heart” when children are involved? When children get in conflict, we always tell them to talk to the other child first and if it doesn’t work, we help them resolve it. How do we resolve our conflicts though? Do we go to the person first, or do we talk to everybody else? If you are in children’s ministry dealing with quite honest sinners all the time, you can’t avoid examining yourself from time to time concerning some really important issues.

Last, but not least, if you serve in Sparklers, it takes about two weeks for you to discover R.C. Sproul’s book The Poison Cup. For some reason, some of the kids love the book and want us to read it all the time. I’ve read the first half of the book much more often than the second half, but I don’t mind. I can never be reminded too much of how evil we were before God saved us, and what a great price He had to pay to do it.

These are just a few lessons you learn if you serve on Sparklers staff. There are definitely more, but I think you got the idea. If you really want to learn and grow, come serve in Sparklers. Or any other ministry.