by Ivan and Nancy Cheng

Marriage is not just a covenant relationship between a man and a woman, but actually two families coming together. In Grace Life, we recently covered the chapter “God’s Blueprint for Marriage” from Preparing for Marriage God’s Way by Wayne Mack. An important concept to consider is how your individual family backgrounds would affect your marriage. It would be valuable to discuss the similarities and differences between your families, personality features of your mothers and fathers, family values, views about responsibilities and roles of the husband/father and wife/mother, and the impact your family background has on you positively and negatively. Even In-law relationships can affect how two independent lives merge into a one-flesh relationship.

We read two narratives from the Bible to discern what characteristics make a good in-law relationship.

• Exodus 18 describes Moses’ relationship with his father-in-law, Jethro. Moses displayed respect and affection for his father-in-law, he guarded himself against pride, and communicated in a loving, affirming way. When Jethro saw Moses struggle with judging Israel, Jethro gave Moses some advice that he graciously accepted and put into practice.
• In the book of Ruth, we see another model of a good in-law relationship. Naomi showed love and concern for others in her time of affliction. By her life, she inspired her daughter-in-law, Ruth, to serve God also. In Ruth’s life, we see she is recognized for her noble character and exemplified faithfulness, loyalty, and compassion towards Naomi.

Having a healthy relationship with the in-laws can bring tremendous harmony to your marriage. Consider some practical ways of expressing appreciation for in-laws and indicating the type of relationship you want to have with them. Most importantly, express gratitude and respect towards your father, mother, and in-laws while expecting that the future will bring new and enjoyable aspects to your relationship.