by Pastor John Kim

As Thanksgiving is approaching, I would like to challenge you in your attitude of gratitude when it comes to how you view those in the church. It is all too easy to grumble and complain and gripe about all the problems: the problematic people, how things are going too slow, how things are going too fast, how we never did it this way before, how we always did it this way, and a host of other things that get uttered as we keenly observe all the faults and weaknesses and short-comings of anyone and everyone around us.

I have to admit that sometimes it’s hard to stomach the continued stream of negative comments that come from the self-appointed judges who seem to measure everyone against themselves and are quick to offer their complaints while at the same time there hardly seems any positives. Every conversation is simply an opportunity to lodge a charge against someone or something that brings offense or “bothers me” and it seems as though there is not even a glimmer of hope that things will ever change for the better.

It’s no surprise that there are many conflicts and divisions that build up between church members and one glaring blind spot is the lack of a thankful heart. Thanklessness is something that can stay under the radar for most people as comments are couched as “concerns, observations, issues, prayer requests” and the obvious command to be thankful according to Scripture is summarily dismissed as being irrelevant to whatever it is being addressed.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 provides a blueprint for the kind of heart attitude that should be a constant presence in our lives if we are walking in the Spirit, especially as we consider our relationships with one another in the church.

“Rejoice always”

Rejoicing is not something that we will always feel emotionally consistent. While we are quick to quote certain verses to others such as James 1:2 or Philippians 4:4 when we see them down or discouraged, do we have a rejoicing attitude when we consider the church family God has called us to be a part of and are we especially rejoicing in the Lord?

It is definitely a challenge to rejoice when there are various trials. But rejoicing can take place when one is walking in the Spirit and as joy is part of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22), this fruit can actually grow during times of testing because the glory of God and His kingdom purposes are being carried out. And even though there is some discomfort or even suffering involved, we can still rejoice because the rejoicing is not based on the circumstances but in our relationship with the Lord that is being strengthened and confirmed in the midst of the trials.

Rejoicing will definitely not take place if one is walking in the flesh, if your eyes are fixed on the circumstances instead of Christ, and if the love of Christ is not controlling your heart and mind. A lack of joy in the life of the Christian definitely leads to spiritual weakness as the joy of the Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10) and it really is impossible to stand strong in your faith without the joy of the Lord undergirding the heart and mind.

“Pray without ceasing”

One thing that is easy to do is to grumble and complain about someone but never actually pray for them. Do you realize that God has put certain people in your life to not only cause sanctification to take place but to also remind you of your ultimate dependence is not to be in your own abilities, your own righteousness, your own wisdom, but to deepen your trust in the Lord?

Before you lodge a complaint about the pastor, the pastor’s wife, the pastor’s children, the elders, the elders’ wives and children, the deacons, the deacons’ families, the Sunday school teachers, the nursery department, the praise team, the sound team, the setup team, the cleanup team, the parking team, for that matter, anyone and everyone at the church, could you honestly come before the Lord with such complaints without once ever genuinely praying for them, their welfare, their good, and their benefit? It is no surprise then that there is a thanklessness that dwells like an ingrown toenail that never heals, when there is a prayerlessness in relation to those that you might have complaints. This is particularly a point of conviction because I find it very easy to highlight the faults of others, even share those faults with others, but never pray for them.

We are actually called to not only pray without ceasing, but to pray for all (1 Timothy 2:1-2) as well as to pray for one another (James 5:16); so that pretty much covers everything. But we can’t just talk about praying – do you actually pray? Do you especially pray for those that you are struggling to be thankful for, no matter what the circumstances? If you refuse to pray for others, not only are you being disobedient, but you show a lack of care that God’s children should show toward one another in the church. To fail to pray is to fail to love. This should not be so.

“In everything give thanks”

Here it gives a great challenge that we are to give thanks in everything. This is not necessarily the same thing as giving thanks FOR everything. It is obviously difficult to give thanks when there are difficult situations or circumstances, especially in dealing with people. But the lack of thanksgiving in one’s life during the tough times can reveal a deeper issue, namely that of a hardened heart that is not led by the Holy Spirit. The exposure of a thankless heart can often be a blind spot because it is too easy to be singularly focused on the circumstances or the people that are associated with hardships, and so Christ is no longer front and center in how we have set our minds as well as our hearts.

This really follows the previous two thoughts about rejoicing and praying. It’s like a package deal – the one who rejoices always and prays without ceasing will also be the one who gives thanks in everything. You don’t pick and choose in this matter.

Are you truly thankful? Can you see the grace and mercy and kindness that God shows you in all the little ways as well as the big? Do you see His lovingkindness manifested to you day by day? Even though there are difficult people, can you see how God is sharpening you and maturing you and sanctifying you to not only trust Him more but to love others more in a 1 Corinthians 13 way? Do you take time to see the blessings that come with the challenges, that to even have a church family in which you can have relationships is not something to be taken for granted? That you have a pastor and teachers who are committed to the Word of God in preaching and teaching and living it out, however imperfectly but faithfully? That you have brothers and sisters in your church family, that you have the opportunity to fellowship and share in the grace and truth of God and that you can be a part of each others lives as well as investing in the future generation?

There is much to be thankful for and I want to particularly challenge you to consider evaluating how thankful you are in the context of the local church. Get a piece of paper (physical or digital) and start writing down the followings responses:

1. Thankful for your pastor and leaders – Take some time to write out how you are thankful for your pastor and leaders. Be specific and note what they do in providing spiritual leadership for the church. This is not to gloss over their shortcomings or weaknesses but you should be able to thank God for your spiritual leaders who watch over your souls.
2. Thankful for your fellow members – Think of specific members who you can look back on and see how God has used them to bless you, to encourage you, to challenge you, and to spur you on in your spiritual walk. While it might seem strange, think of those who also might have been difficult, awkward, and even discouraging and consider how God used them to grow you and mature you. You can still give thanks to God, even for those who meant evil toward you, but God used it for good (ex. Joseph and his brothers in Genesis 50). The dynamic of various relationships can definitely be stretching but it provides ample opportunity to love one another with the love of Christ.
3. Thankful for the gospel – Give thanks to God how precious the gospel is to you as well as how the grace and mercy of God has been shown to you. Consider also how God uses sinners like us to share the good news of the gospel. Remember that the members of the church are really all united as forgiven sinners because of the cross of Christ and that it is only by His kindness that we are granted the privilege to be ambassadors of the gospel to this world.
4. Thankful for the Word of God – If we didn’t have the Scriptures, we would truly be lost. In a world that continues to insist that there is no such thing as objective propositional truth that governs all of mankind, we see how the world continues to spiral down as the whirlpool of conflicting worldviews sucks people into confusion and conflicts. But with the sufficient and authoritative Word of God as our lamp to our feet and a light to our path, the church can walk in confidence both in unity as well as in purpose in carrying out the Great Commission and in obeying the Great Commandment. Thank God for His Word and thank those who faithfully preach and teach and counsel and model the Word of God in your life.
5. Thankful for the head of the church – At the end of the day, we will always have reason to be thankful when we are with the church because the head of the church will always be true, faithful, trustworthy, and the one who leads us. If we fix our eyes on Christ as a church, then we will not only be undistracted by the things of this world, we will also be able to be united in our focus as a body and be more useful for the kingdom of God as well as united in how we view each other. Give thanks for our Lord and Savior who will always be the true and only head of the church.