by Kyle Grindley

At Lighthouse, we understand that most of the kids in our children’s ministry are not Christians; they have not had their hearts of stone replaced with hearts of flesh, they cannot obey God. Ryan McAdam’s article Why Require Obedience in the Classroom? touched on why we require obedience in spite of their inability. I have found applying this in a way that represents God to be the most challenging aspect of teaching in Sparklers (LBC’s preschool ministry).

One elder presented this challenge in a way that has stuck with me: Can the kids tell the difference between the way we run our classroom and the way any secular school would run theirs? Can the kids see God’s order, righteousness, peace, mercy, grace, love all reflected in the classroom? Or do they only see order, and teachers who are annoyed when it is violated?

I have struggled with how to maintain an ordered classroom where we can teach children about God’s loving-kindness, without unteaching it with the way I impose that order. These are a few guidelines that help me approach classroom discipline.

Discipline in an LBC classroom must come from humble teachers. We are sinners in need of teaching, correction, reproof, and training in righteousness, just like the children. To paraphrase Paul Tripp: we are more like the kids in our class than unlike them (see Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family). We do not discipline the kids because we are their moral superiors, but because we love them and want to teach them that the only way to have joy and peace is by trusting God’s wise words and following God’s good rules.

Discipline in an LBC classroom must come from unconditional love for the kids. Many kids go through a “difficult” time in Sparklers; a few months when they are consistently the recipient of discipline. In these times we must be careful to show unconditional love: a consistent desire to include them in class activities, to hear their thoughts, and to play with them. If children see that they are sought after in difficult times just as in good times, they might see a small picture of God’s love for us. God’s love is not diminished when we sin and does not grow when we obey. God’s love for us is always bringing us closer to Him, sometimes in the sweetness of close communion, and sometimes in the stinging conviction of sin.

Discipline in an LBC classroom must focus on the heart. Classroom disobedience is the result of a child deciding that they will be happier following their own wisdom, doing things their own way, rather than trusting and following God’s way of thinking and acting. It is what we call a My-Way heart (look at Getting to the Heart, by Liannu Khai (Dang)). Luke 6 says “out of the overflow of the heart, his mouth speaks”. We cannot stop at addressing the children’s behavior, we must address the heart that gave birth to that behavior. And we need to address it so that they are ultimately pointed to the only person who can change their hearts. Each time we discipline, it should be another lived example of what we teach during the lesson: “People need Jesus to change their hearts. You need Jesus to change your heart.”

Discipline in an LBC classroom must model a proper response to God’s Word. When we discipline the Sparklers we walk them through the process of repentance. First we identify the issue, perhaps it was unkind words, rebellious action, or an ungrateful attitude. Then we measure those words, actions, and attitudes by God’s Word. Does the Bible say what I did was good or sinful? If our actions are consistent with what God calls good, then we give thanks because our heart is consistent with God’s heart. If we find that God calls what we did sin, then our disobedient heart has been revealed. We ask for forgiveness, and we ask God to change our heart. It is my hope that as the children see their teachers and parents apply this pattern to their situation, they can learn how to apply it themselves. All this in the confidence that God’s Word is able to discern the thoughts and intentions of the heart and bring change.

Please pray for the children’s ministry staff, that we would rely on God’s wisdom in each discipline situation. Pray that we would represent God’s righteousness and mercy each time we require obedience from children who cannot give it. Please pray that each child would trust that joy and peace can be found by listening to God’s wise words, and following His good way.