By Pastor Patrick Cho
As a fairly new parent, I am understanding more and more clearly that merely teaching my child to behave a certain way does not necessarily solve the problem of disobedience. If my child’s rebellion springs from her heart, then her heart needs to be addressed and not only her outward behavior. If the heart is not addressed, even if one behavioral problem is “corrected” another one is sure to arise. She will simply find some other way to manifest her rebellious attitude. I might get my child to come to sit still during dinner, but she might later deliberately throw her food to the floor in anger. The problem is that she is not learning to lovingly trust me in obedience, and her selfish heart is not being addressed. She is simply being taught that she will get in trouble with Papa if she doesn’t sit still.
The same fundamental principle applies to adults as well. Oftentimes people make decisions without ever considering if there is a biblical basis behind those decisions. Although they might profess that they seek to honor God with the decisions they make, when it actually comes time to make day to day decisions, God is not really on their minds. They don’t turn to the Scriptures to figure out how God might direct them. Instead, their decisions are made based solely on practicality, convenience, and ease. If it isn’t convenient for them, people don’t seem to care about pursuing the most God-glorifying decisions. They reason to themselves that there can be no other way. They look at their circumstances and conclude that their decision must be best. They fail to examine what are the real desires of their hearts.
Let me illustrate this with an issue that has been a fairly hot topic at Lighthouse in recent months. In my personal conversations, people have brought up the issue of daycare probably more than any other topic, so let’s think through it. For whatever reason, more and more parents are choosing to place their children in daycare instead of having Mom stay at home to raise her children. Regardless of what your position is on daycare, whether you think it’s ok or not, the issue I want to address is the reasoning behind the decision. Perhaps the couple looks at their financial situation and concludes that they need a second income. Perhaps the wife simply doesn’t want to stop working because of all the hard work she put into her career. Perhaps raising a child has proven to be too challenging and she simply needs a break during the day. Regardless of whether you conclude that these reasons are good or bad, the sad fact is that they are only based on practicality. There is no thought of “How does the Bible instruct us in this?” or “Is there a biblical principle that could help guide our decision making?”
The big question to consider is: What is the basis behind the decisions you make? Too often people are saying things like “That’s the way our parents did it, and we came out fine” or “All our friends are doing this and they go to church” or “I know of churches that have their own daycares and their pastors are ok with it” or even “You’re being legalistic to tell me I can’t” to justify their actions. What isn’t being considered is “Is this really what God would want me to do?” or “Is this the decision that would be most consistent with what His Word says?” or even “Am I really seeking to glorify Him in this decision or am I only looking to get what I want?”
I suppose this begs the question, does the Bible actually teach that all decisions are to be biblical? My answer is a resounding YES! Someone might argue, “Some decisions are too trivial to filter through a biblical framework.” To which I would apply, “Doesn’t the Bible instruct us to do all things to the glory of God – whether we eat or drink or whatever we do (1 Cor. 10:31)? Or doesn’t the Bible instruct women to dress modestly, not with gold or pearls or costly attire (1 Tim. 2:9)?” Certainly there are few things more mundane than what you eat or drink or wear. These are not the big life changing decisions we make, but the way we make them matters to God!
2 Timothy 3:16-17 speaks of the inerrancy, authority, and sufficiency of the Word of God. Through the wisdom given in God’s Word, the believer is given everything they need pertaining to life and godliness (cf. 2 Pet. 1:3). The psalmist praised the Scriptures for the comprehensive instruction it gives so that in it we are given all we need to live this life in a way that pleases God (cf. Ps. 119). To not go to the Scriptures is like saying, “Thanks God, but I think I can handle this on my own.”
Besides, there’s an undeniable correlation between the commands given in Ephesians 5:18 and Colossians 3:16. In the one passage, believers are commanded to be filled with the Spirit. In the other, we are called to let the word of Christ dwell in us richly. The relationship between these verses is such that at the very least there is an intimate relationship between being Spirit-filled and Word-filled, and at the very most these two ideas refer to the same thing. The greater issue is that these commands are present tense continual commands. There is no time in a person’s life that he should stop being filled with the Spirit. And there is no time when it is ok not to have the Word of Christ dwell in him richly. What true believer in Christ would ever say, “I don’t desire to live a Spirit-filled life.” So, in what decisions we make are we permitted to not consider the principles of God’s Word? Hopefully you are reading this and concluding: None!
What also needs to be pointed out is that you can even make seemingly good decisions without a biblical basis. (Remember the illustration of the child learning to behave a certain way without having the right reason for doing so.) Going back to the example of daycare, perhaps you do not believe in putting your child in daycare. Isn’t it possible (and certainly often the case) that the basis behind this decision is its practicality, as much as the reasons given by those who do put their children in daycare? Perhaps you reason “This is what would be best for my child” or “I just want to spend as much time with my kid as possible.” Again, biblical principles might not be in the picture at all.
One might reason, “But isn’t it enough that I am coming to the right kinds of decisions?” My response, this time, is a resounding NO! Why? Because while you might get one decision correct, if practicality is the sole basis for your decision, you might be starting to set a pattern for yourself for unwise decision making in the future. Sure, you got one decision right. Who’s to say you’ll get the next one right? So, the goal is not only to come to the right decision. The process of coming to that decision is just as (if not more because of precedence) important.
Again, the issue of daycare aside (regardless of whether you think it is permissible or not), what is the basis behind the decisions you make? In the end, what is the reason for pursuing your choices with as much commitment as you do? Here you need to be honest. You might fool those around you, but you can’t fool God. Could it be that there are simply some things we want in life so badly that we don’t even want God to get in the way of our getting them? We might mask our desires with external shows of holiness. We might reason, “But I prayed about it,” or “God has given me peace in this decision.” But if we really are not looking to His Word for the right principles to guide our decision making, how can we conclude that God is more pleased with our decisions or line of thinking?
Please understand that the purpose of this article is not to condemn daycare or to say that those who put their kids in daycare are evil. It is simply a challenge to consider why we make the choices we do. What drives us? What are our hearts’ desires? Do we have certain things in our lives that we want so badly that we are willing to make choices that might not be the best before God’s eyes? These are important questions to consider because you need to know that God cares not only about the decisions we make, but also about how we come to make those decisions.