by Pastor Patrick Cho
In a recent article entitled “Four in 10 Say Marriage Is Becoming Obsolete,” by Hope Yen, posted on Yahoo! News, studies have shown that the general public does not consider marriage to be as much of a necessary factor in what constitutes a family as in times past. While most society-defined “families” today still include a husband and wife in a marriage relationship, single parent homes and same-sex couples with children are also gaining widespread acceptance as “families.”
Since the numbers for divorce continue to rise and single parent homes are more the norm than the exception, Yen writes, “More people are accepting the view that wedding bells aren’t needed to have a family.” Certainly, the article is not offering anything particularly new. One merely needs to flip on the television and watch a few sitcoms or dramas to see the paradigm shift. It is becoming less common to see television shows focused on nuclear families. Instead children on TV are being raised by single parents or same-sex couples (consider for example shows like “Modern Family,” and “Two and a Half Men”).
Certainly, a single mother living with her children constitutes a family (albeit a broken one), but what is troubling about this article is the idea that the definition of family should be adjusted to more accurately describe what we are seeing in today’s society. Not only is this simply mistaken, it is also a case of missing the point.
Yen reports, “When asked what constitutes a family, the vast majority of Americans agree that a married couple, with or without children, fits that description. But four of five surveyed pointed also to an unmarried, opposite-sex couple with children or a single parent. Three of 5 people said a same-sex couple with children was a family.” What is a family anymore? To the general public, the definition seems to be getting more and more blurry. Broken homes are no longer considered broken, but rather are accepted as common. Divorces are seen less as unfortunate and more as expected. Celebrity marriages in particular become the butt of jokes as people estimate how long they will last.
But does this unfortunate trend in society mean that the definition of family needs to change? This is indicative of a culture that is not anchored by truth. Words become muddled. Definitions become difficult to nail down. Right changes to wrong, and wrong to right. All of this stems ultimately from an abandonment of the Giver of truth and the Word of truth. Sadly, the ideals of Christianity, which were once widely accepted, are now looked upon less as good and more as antiquated, intrusive, obnoxious, or hateful. Even that might not be so bad, were it not for the overwhelming tide of pluralism that seeks to relegate religious belief entirely to the realm of subjective, personal experience.
Interestingly, the same redefinition is happening with the church. The popular trend has been to see the church as obsolete. Christians are encouraged to go on “spiritual journeys” and find individualistic ways to develop their spiritual well being. Church is no longer thought to be necessary because people have deemed it as such. Doesn’t this sound eerily similar to what Yen is writing about the family? I wouldn’t be surprised if some popular Christian author came out with a new book entitled something like Family Revolution, arguing for an abandonment of a biblical understanding of family and instead adopting a sociologically defined one.
What is needed is not a redefinition of terms to justify the unfortunate trends we see in society. If definitions are constantly changed in order to describe current societal trends, definitions will eventually become obsolete, and discussing anything in absolute terms will become next to impossible. Instead, what is needed more than anything else is for people to turn to God’s Word to see how God has defined terms, concepts, and ideas. Society needs to be anchored in truth so that we can know when we are straying from what was originally intended. It is as if in our attempt not to label anyone as wrong, we are simply redefining words to make wrong more acceptable. This is not charitable, it is cheating; to borrow a sports analogy, it’s simply a case of moving the goalposts. Only when one begins with God’s truth can there be a true understanding of right and wrong, along with the ability to discern one from the other.