by Joseph and Lynn Ho

By God’s grace, we have been happily married for over two weeks now. Yes, you can say that the two of us are enjoying the honeymoon phase of our marriage (and we love every moment of it!), but even in the short time we’ve been married, we come to understand that marriage is something that requires active nurturing with a humble heart towards God and one another. We are blessed to be in a church that has a high view of God and His Word and be taught the biblical view of marriage. And so, in this short reflection, we would like to share a bit about how the biblical teachings of our premarital counseling has prepared us for our union and helped us build our marriage daily.

First, the premarital class prepared us to think about marriage Biblically. In today’s society, people generally approach marriage with a self-centered view that the wedding must be everything they have dreamed of and that marriage is about making them happy. Even during our engagement, it was easy to become overwhelmed by the joyful anticipation of marriage and consumed by the daunting task of planning all the details of the wedding and reception. But planning a Christ-centered wedding means that from the decorations, to the attire, to the food and entertainment, every detail is to proclaim the boldness and purity of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We learned in Ephesians 5:22-33 that a wife is to learn to submit to the leadership of her husband just like the Church submits herself to Christ, and a husband is to learn to love and cherish his wife and lead her to holiness just like Christ loves his Church and purifies her from sin by dying for her on the cross. Marriage, ultimately then, is to not to make us happy, but to reflect the perfect love relationship between Christ and His Church.

Second, the premarital class taught us the importance of humility. This truth takes center stage in regards to understanding men and women’s role as God has designed it. The Bible reminds us that even though we are created equal before God, God has given us different roles and purposes. The husband is to learn to provide for the home both physically and spiritually and help his wife reach her full potential in the Lord (1Timothy 3:4-5; 1 Peter 3:7), while the wife is to learn to devote her energy and time in the home so that the word of God will not be reviled (Titus 2:3-5). Without humility, even in these acts of service towards each other, we could grow discontent and harbor attitudes of bitterness. Pastor Patrick reminds us that as a couple, we are always on the same team, and that we must always work together to display the greatness of God.

We are glad that we went through premarital! We’d say dedicating time to the premarital is as important as planning for the wedding. We highly recommend every engaged couple to go through the class thoughtfully and slowly. It will prepare you for the ever-continual pursuit of becoming the exemplary husband and excellent wife that God intends you to be.