Category Archives: Affinity Groups

The Church and Your Family

by Pastor Patrick Cho

When I have the opportunity to walk through premarital counseling with an engaged couple, one of the lessons that we cover is called, “The Most Important Relationship in Your Relationship.” This title is taken from Wayne Mack’s Preparing for Marriage God’s Way, which is a great tool to help couples know what to expect in marriage. In this particular chapter, the book addresses each person’s spiritual life. How is your relationship with the Lord? How is your time in God’s Word? How is your time in prayer? Of course, most true Christians would agree that the key to a successful marriage is keeping Christ at the center of it. This chapter allows us to walk through what that looks like practically.

One issue that needs to be addressed in the context of a family’s spiritual health is the place of church in the life of the family. These two divinely ordained institutions are designed to support and strengthen each other. The stronger the church, the more beneficial for the family. Likewise, the stronger the family, the stronger the church. It is no wonder that Paul often drew upon the analogy of the family to describe the relationships of the church. He reminded the Thessalonians of his parental care towards them (1 Thess. 2:7, 11-12). He exhorted the members of the church to treat each other as family (1 Tim. 5:1-2). Perhaps he borrowed this language from Jesus (Matt. 12:48-50).

Instead, what we are seeing in the church today is a different value system. For the sake of the family, more and more couples are becoming less and less involved in the life of the church. They complain that ministry crowds out time for their families to be together. Yes, the church needs to be careful in its planning and structure not to bully the calendar and eat up the week. But families also need to recognize how vital it is (for the sake of their families!) to be regularly involved in the worship and fellowship of the church.

In consideration of this issue, consider the following questions for application:

  1. As a married couple or parent, in what ways do you seek to be a blessing to the church family? How are you serving the body and contributing to the overall health of the church?
  2. Are your children developing a high view of the church from your instruction and example?
  3. Are there activities you plan for your family (vacations, sports, shopping, etc.) that unnecessarily conflict with church events?
  4. When you say you need time for your family, do you actually spent time together as a family? Do you just use your family as an excuse not to be more involved at church so that you can focus on personal interests?

I really appreciated this article from Albert Mohler, which was written back in 2007. Read his thoughts on this very important issue.

Recap and Application

by Jonathan Eng

What do the Los Angeles Lakers of 2014-2015 and the body of believers at LBCSD have in common? Both are going to experience conflict at some point, big and small. (I had to, being the Clipper fan that I am).

In Single Life, we have been going over The Peacemaker by Ken Sande. Thus far, we have completed the first section of the book which details the first of the four G’s, which is to glorify God. The foundation to which we have in glorifying God is found in 1 Corinthians 10:31 which says, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” Having this mindset is crucial especially when in conflict because God’s reputation is at stake as well as our own witness. Having such a mindset is crucial when entering a conflict. Upon accomplishing this and remembering to glorify God amidst conflict, we are able to proceed with biblical conflict resolution and reconciliation, which leads into the second G: getting the log out of our own eyes.

One week, Single Life got to hear one of our esteemed elders, Johnny Kim, preach on the fourth chapter of The Peacemaker, entitled “Is This Really Worth Fighting Over?” The main point of this chapter focuses on overlooking minor offenses and picking out battles, especially when trying to get the log out of our own eyes. Matthew 7:3-5 says:

“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye, when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.’”

Whenever we get in conflicts, our natural, sinful tendency is to focus on the wrongs committed against us. It is a “me versus them” mentality. Our pride is hurt because we have been wronged. By having this mentality, we remove God from his rightful place in our lives and elevate ourselves. We fool ourselves into thinking that we have committed no wrong when we, in our anger, sin and contribute to the conflict. Because of that, we need to get the log out of our own eyes in order to progress in biblically resolving our conflicts. In getting the log out of own eye, we as believers need to focus first on how we contribute to the conflicts we are engaged in. When we are able to do that, peacemaking truly begins.

We have to ask ourselves if something is worth fighting over and if it is an unnecessary conflict that can be avoided. No matter how small it is, it can always get bigger and worse. Proverbs 17:9 says, “Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.” When we do not overlook an offense, a minor issue could easily snowball into a big problem and negatively affects not only the relationship between the parties involved, but the body as well. The apostle Paul in Colossians 3:12-13 calls for believes to wear the clothing of “kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another…” As such, we are to forgive others when we are in conflict because we ourselves are always in spiritual conflict with God when we sin. God, in his perfect grace and mercy, has overlooked our sin because he sent Christ to die on our behalf and take the punishment for our sins. When we can overlook an offense and check our ego at the door, we in turn imitate God’s mercy and hold up the reputation of the church to non-believers.

Having recapped the message from Wednesday, the hardest part for myself is checking my ego at the door whenever I am involved in conflicts. I personally tend to hold grudges and dwell on things. Resolving conflicts is usually not a problem when it is amongst believers. Where the rubber meets the road for me in this is in the work place when I am a sheep amongst wolves. I struggle with how to resolve conflicts in the work environment, which is especially hard when my coworkers and I do not share the same beliefs. As a Christian, I cannot hold non-believers to the same standard I would have for a fellow brother or sister at church. Because of that, I am still trying to navigate my way through conflict and would much rather avoid it altogether and sweep it under the rug. As I write this, I left my old job with relationships with coworkers whom I personally did not care to deal with because of my reaction to how I was treated as well as how other coworkers were treated by them. As I enter into my new job, I take with me a refreshed approach and attitude toward resolving conflicts in the work place and to know that I need to first and foremost project Christ and recognize his reputation is at stake when I do not resolve conflict in a biblical manner. If I am the source of committing a wrong against a coworker, I need to seek forgiveness from them and check my ego at the door. Even if I get persecuted for trying to pursue reconciliation, as long as I know that I am glorifying God, nothing else will matter. Ultimately, I need to take care of my own part and trust God with everything else in order to be a good witness at work and to love my unbelieving coworkers.

Jesus Was Older than He Looked

by Roger Alcaraz

Here in our college ministry, we’ve been looking at Jesus’ earthly ministry in the book of John. I’ve been most impressed with Jesus’ radical teaching and his amazing love. But what was Jesus’ ministry before he took on flesh? After all, John 1:1 says that Jesus was in the beginning, which begs the question, “What was he doing up to the earthly birth?

Jesus Visits Moses

In Exodus 3:6, it’s clear that God is the one speaking to Moses when he says, “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.” Then when Moses asks God about who he should say sent him, God responds, “I am who I am, tell them I am has sent you.”

I bring this up to show that Jesus is claiming to be the one who spoke from the burning bush. Exodus 3:2 states, “the angel of the LORD appeared to him in the flame of fire out of the midst of the bush.” There is no distinction between the angel of the LORD and God himself. Some argue that an angel came with God in the bush, so that the angel could get Moses’ attention and then God would speak to him. The problem is that there’s no account of God entering the bushes and we see no interaction between the angel and God that we would expect between two separate persons. The natural conclusion is that the angel of the LORD and the LORD himself are seen as separate in person but equal in their nature.

This mirrors the proximity of Jesus and God the Father when Jesus declares that he and the Father are one (John 10:30). Again, he wants himself and the Father to be seen as one and the same. If it were Jesus who appeared to Moses, then perhaps he was involved in the lives of others throughout the OT.

Jesus its Jacob and Manoah

In Genesis 32:26-30 Jacob wrestles with God whom he initially thinks is a man. By the end of the encounter Jacob says, “I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered.” The passage is particularly interesting when looked at along with Judges 13:15-23 where we read about the angel of the Lord appearing to Manoah and his wife. They also initially think he is a man.

You can read the accounts on your own, but to summarize the main similarities: a man appears to both Jacob and Manoah; the man blesses both Jacob and Manoah; afterward, both Jacob and Manoah ask for his name; the man responds to both, “Why do you ask?” Then both realize they should have died because they just saw God.

If we consider the possibility that the angel here were Jesus, then why didn’t he say he was Jesus? After all, he was asked by both for his very name—a perfect opportunity to reveal himself in the Old Testament.

Still, if the angel simply said, “Why do you ask?” then perhaps he just wanted to avoid being worshiped. But the angel added, “…seeing it is wonderful?” (Pene in Hebrew). The only other time this word is used is in Psalm 139:6 when the Psalmist writes about the LORD’s knowledge being too pene to grasp. So the word has the idea of being incomprehensible or being secret, which helps us understand the angel’s response as saying “…seeing it is beyond understanding?” This is how some English translations take it. What a strange response to give. Certainly if this were a man or an angel trying to deny worship, he would not consider himself pene.

So what does it mean that the angel of the LORD’s name was beyond understanding or secret? For this we turn to Ephesians 3:4-5 where Paul writes about “…the mystery of Christ, which was not made known to the sons of men in other generations as it has now been revealed to his holy apostles and prophets by the Spirit.” The subject here is the mystery of Christ, specifically, that Christ would save Gentiles (v. 6), but part of keeping the ministry of Christ a secret was to veil the person of Christ as well. Therefore, the reason that the angel of the LORD did not reveal himself was because it was not his time to.

Jesus Acts as a Link

This doesn’t mean that every time the angel of the LORD is used in the OT that it is referring to Jesus. It might be the case that every manifestation of God was, in fact, Jesus but some accounts of God’s appearance don’t give us enough detail to know for sure. I could mention other accounts where Christ is seen in the OT, like the mention of two LORDs (Genesis 23:24), or when he visits Joshua (Joshua 5:13-15), or when Isaiah sees a vision of Jesus (Isaiah 6:1-6; John 12:41). But the point isn’t only just to show that Jesus appeared to different people but to see what role he played in the OT.

In essence, Christ was providing a link between transcendent God and man. The OT saints longed for the day they could see God’s face, but at the same time, they were rightfully afraid because no one can see God’s face and live. When Christ appeared to individuals, he revealed a bit of who God is, but it was always incomplete and they couldn’t explain how it is that the infinitely glorious God could be in their presence for them to behold. The answer is Jesus.

For it was in Jesus’ earthly ministry when Jesus makes it plain that “whoever has seen me has seen the Father” (John 14:8). Paul adds that “Jesus is the image of the invisible God” (Colossians 1:15). These statements aren’t just true of Jesus in the NT but also the OT. So what did Jacob, Manoah, and others like Abraham, David, Isaiah see? They saw the image of the invisible God. They saw the Father. But they saw Him in the second person of the Trinity.

Jesus has always been mankind’s visible access to invisible God and when he showed himself to OT saints, it was a foreshadow of the incarnation. For they knew they were looking at God and yet didn’t know how. Now, because of Jesus’ incarnation, death, and resurrection, we can know God more intimately than ever, even more than all of the OT saints.

How often do we take the revelation of Christ in the NT for granted? If anything, we should be reading about Christ every day and drawing nearer to God, having a greater access to him than even Moses did. We also take hope in the future because even with Christ bringing us to God, there are some things we still long for, like being ushered into glory where we will be in the presence of God the Father, Son, and Spirit in the fullest way possible.

Book Review: Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl

by Kristen Lim

The season of life encompassing junior high and high school can be a tumultuous time of peer pressure, identity crises, and raging hormones. Youth-age girls have the label of being boy-crazy, but I would venture to say that many post-youth single women are boy-crazy as well. To all these single ladies (young and old) I ask, are you boy-crazy? Here are some questions to help determine the answer to that question: Do you believe you’d finally be completely happy if you had a boyfriend? Do you often pick out your wardrobe with the motivation to catch guys’ eyes? Do you change your plans or schedule just so that you can “coincidentally” cross paths with a guy you like? Are you always trying to analyze the behavior of guys to figure out if he likes you? Then according to Paula Hendricks, the author of Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl, you are boy-crazy and this book is for you.

Hendricks invites readers to take a peek into her past journal entries describing her experiences with guys and witness how God transformed her heart and life over the years to submit to Christ as Lord of her life, especially in the area of romantic relationships. Hendricks helps her fellow sisters in the faith to flee idolizing prospective boyfriends by renewing the mind with Scripture (Rom 12:2) and holding fast to the truth that God’s plan for each of His children is good (Rom 8:28).

So, what’s so wrong about being boy-crazy? It seems that our culture celebrates and encourages girls to gossip about their crushes and do whatever it takes to garner a guy’s attention. As sinners saved by the grace of God, we should not continue to walk in the ways of the world, but rather walk by the Spirit (Gal. 5:16) and search Scripture to gain a better understanding of who God is and what He values in order to better reflect His glory in our lives.

God is intimately involved in the lives of His children and wants us to love Him with our whole heart, soul, and mind (Matt 22:37). The first commandment even asserts that we are not to have any other gods before Him (Deut 5:7). Granted, you may not have a little statue in your home that you bow down to, but is having a relationship an idol in your heart? Hendricks defines an idol as “something that, without it, you think you’ll face a ‘hell’—your own personal version of torment and pain” (Hendricks 19). Consider Christ. “And He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed” (1 Pet 2:24). While we were still dead in our sins and trespasses, Christ died for us. We are saved from the wrath of God through faith in Christ. We have peace with our Creator through faith in Christ. We have eternal life through faith in Christ. This is the glorious gospel that should bring us to our knees and cause us to have the same mindset as Paul: “I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ” (Phil 3:8).

Recognizing the idol of a relationship is a critical first step, but the mere acknowledgement of this doesn’t mean it will go away. If you pray that God would do whatever it takes to be free from an idol, and that He would be first in your heart and life, He will be faithful to answer that prayer, though the task is not easy. Jesus emphasized the serious nature of sin, metaphorically going to the extent of cutting off one’s hand if it causes one to sin. He isn’t promoting self-mutilation, but rather describing the intensity and urgency in removing temptations from your life so that you would sin no more. What might this look like in relationships? Maybe staying away from listening to love songs if that sparks thoughts of discontent in your current love life. Maybe abstaining from stalking a guy’s Facebook page. Maybe not watching romantic movies. Beware of legalism and casting judgment on those that may do these activities. The point is for you to refrain from things that easily tempt you to sin (Hendricks 36).

Girls can fall into the trap of being overly consumed with beauty and outward appearance all for the sake of catching the eyes of guys. Every part of our life should be worship to God, even how we dress and choose to behave. “The way you present yourself can either discredit your God in others’ minds or draw them to Him” (Hendricks 46). This is not to say that girls should just wear potato sacks and be unfashionable, but the principle lies in loving God and people, to look out for others’ best interest and their undistracted worship of God.

We can perpetuate boy-craziness in the thought-life. What do you allow yourself to think about?

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. (Author unknown)

Too many times we allow our thoughts to run rampant without any awareness that it is a breeding ground to make idols if not actively trained to dwell on what is “true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, or praiseworthy” (Phil 4:8). The current culture is a circus of unbiblical worldviews that can poison the mind and heart with lies. It’s important to be a diligent student of God’s word and be grounded on the solid foundation of God’s never-failing promises. Having thoughts saturated in God’s truth will cause you to see life from His eternal perspective and sovereignty, even the parts of life involving love interests. As Augustine defines God’s providence: “everything that happens does so because God wills it to happen, wills it to happen before it happens, wills it to happen in the way it happens” (Hendricks 131).

Ultimately the key to killing the idols of one’s heart is to invest time in relishing God and learning to treasure Him above all else. So at the end of the day, it is not wrong to pray for marriage or other non-sinful desires. Looking at the example of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, He prayed three times to have the cup of imminent death removed from Him, but He always adds, “not as I will, but as you will. Your will be done” (Matt 26:39). There is a balance of expressing desires to God and also surrendering to His good and sovereign plan for our life. “Will you die to your own small (but dear!) dreams in order to allow God to display His awesome power through your life?” (Hendricks 138).

I’ll leave you with the refrain from “Turn Your Eyes upon Jesus”:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace. (Helen H. Lemmel)

May this be the anthem of your hearts, dear sisters in Christ.

Children’s Ministry Is Like Football*

by Ryan McAdams

* You probably know the sport as “soccer.”

Visit a youth soccer (football, from now on) match of your choosing on any given Saturday, and you’ll likely hear coaches barking instructions like stay back, Tanner, you’re a defender! or kick it up front! Once they’ve moved beyond the all-bunch-around-the-ball stage, you’ll see the kids find a certain sense of comfort in the position to which the coaches assign them, to the point that a kid will rarely leave the general zone of his position. (Many in and outside of the United States have pointed to this as a major flaw in the United States’s youth soccer development system.) In fact, the early development of the sport of football would also look this way, too, with two or three defenders, and up to eight forwards on one side of the pitch (field), and the same match-up in reverse on the other side, with the defenders desperately trying to kick the ball to the other side of the field, and nobody running in between.

But, in the early 1970s, while football had advanced to include midfielders, the Netherlands, under visionary coach Rinus Michaels began to introduce a concept in their play, which they named “Total Football.” They thought that every member of the team should have the ability to play in any position on the pitch. For the old positionally rigid teams, this would pose a problem when one of the Dutch defenders decided that he saw an opportunity and took off down the field to join the other attackers. Additionally, nobody expected defenders to have any skill in dribbling or passing, but opposing teams found that with these skills, the Dutch could keep the ball almost indefinitely. Indeed, this philosophy reached its zenith in the 1974 World Cup Final, where the Dutch scored their first goal after about a minute of play, and the Germans hadn’t touched the ball once. You may think, I don’t remember the Dutch winning a World Cup, and you’d be right – they actually lost that match 2-1, with most observers claiming that the Dutch simply had more interest in passing and playing with the ball than scoring after that first goal.

But, the reality is that certain players do have certain strengths and weaknesses, and so you have many present-day teams which have adopted part of the philosophy of Total Football without completely abandoning the idea of distinct roles. One of the major tenets of Total Football which helped to cement its legacy was the way in which the teams adjusted and viewed space. In the scenario I previously described, a defender who saw an opening would join the attackers, but this only initiated a chain reaction of sorts. Ideally, the other ten players on his team would understand his intention, know where he was and where he was going, and adjust to cover the space he vacated in the defense. The entire team would adapt to the situation and support each other in the common goal of scoring and preventing scoring from their opponents. Forwards would run back to help in defense if an opposing player began to break away, or wide defenders would run forward along the sidelines into open space to give their attacking players another passing option.

And this brings us to Children’s Ministry. Like football, Children’s Ministry (or any ministry, really) can crystallize into a specific routine, like the message and post-message discussions happen first hour, and singing and activity happen second hour. (Coincidentally, this approximates our Sonlight elementary school ministry schedule.) This schedule has nothing inherently wrong in it, but we can focus so much on our position/routine that we neglect the goal of our ministry. Those of us who serve in the Children’s Ministry and the children’s parents work on a team to instill God’s Word in the children’s hearts. Just like most modern-day clubs take ideas from Total Football, yet still retain the sense of positions, God has very clearly given the parents the primary role of shepherding their children, and the children’s ministries must work to support the parents in their shepherding.

To this end, as the Sonlight ministry, we must have the flexibility to adapt to the changing needs of our parents and abilities of our staff. So, if the first-hour message and second-hour singing and crafts helps the parents teach God’s word to their children best, then we keep it. But, if not, we must have the humility to move into other space and try different things. We facilitate communication lines between the parents and staff so that we can work together for their children’s edification, and so that we as the staff can understand the parents’ intentions and situations and fit ourselves to the current state of the playing field. This may lead to Sonlight looking radically different from one year to the next while always instructing the children in God’s word. But if Sonlight is simply responding to the new set of children and changing needs of the parents, then that difference should not cause concern. Rather, show concern if Sonlight never changes.

Marriage Check Up: Session 2

by Pastor Patrick Cho, Brian Chan, & Beverly Chan

Our study in Grace Life through Wayne Mack’s book, Preparing for Marriage God’s Way, continued with a look at chapter 2 entitled “Going Deeper.” For each session, both husband and wife are asked to do the homework independent of their spouse. They are then to get together to talk through their answers as a couple. (Since the book is intended to be a premarital counseling help, obviously, some of the questions need to be reinterpreted to fit a post-wedding relationship.) All the couples get together, then, at Grace Life to walk through the lesson together. This week’s response to the discussion is provided by Brian and Beverly Chan.

Grace Life recently finished discussing chapter two of Preparing for Marriage God’s Way, by Wayne Mack. When you combine food, childcare, and an open discussion about marriage, it almost always makes for a good time. It’s definitely different going through the book from this side of the fence i.e. married, not dating, and this week’s discussion took us back to our old days of dating and engagement.

The session started off with the simple challenge of openly praising something your spouse did the previous week. It’s designed to foster encouragement before engaging in some deeper and possibly tumultuous discussion regarding marriage. Not only was it helpful to think about something positive your spouse did but it was also encouraging to hear what other people were doing for their partners.

One of the best things about our time on Thursday nights is the open discussion format. While Pastor Patrick goes over the chapter, he asks various questions that anyone in the room can publicly respond to. This keeps the discussion constructive and engaging. Oftentimes young parents do not get many opportunities to discuss deeper issues with other parents simply because there isn’t much time during the week due to the demands of raising a family. The Thursday night discussions provide a time for couples to have a conversation they would not normally have during the week. As a result, you get to hear various points of view on a topic that could potentially differ from your own. The best part of it is thinking through these responses biblically and sometimes, that can lead to some uncomfortable or even unpopular conclusions.

We spent a great deal of time discussing what attracted us to our spouses back when we were dating and eventually evolved into what exactly was “biblical attraction”. This is obviously a very sensitive topic and a point of struggle for many well-meaning single adults. The popular definition of attraction in our culture consists largely in part of the physical aspect while often ignoring the spiritual component. If our allegiance is to Christ and our heart’s desire is to be more like Him, then what we look for in a spouse should mirror what Christ would (and did) seek after: a person’s heart. What was edifying was determining what was biblical, then hearing from different men and women regarding the struggles a single man or woman might go through should they take this point of view. We all know that it’s one thing to subscribe to a particular theological conviction but quite another to follow through with its implications in real life. How does one handle physical attraction when dating/what about the Song of Solomon? What should a young lady do if she feels no “chemistry” to somebody courting her? Should a man continue to pursue a girl if he feels no physical attraction to her? What would we teach our own children regarding these things?

We both appreciated the time with Grace Life (especially the childcare) and continued the discussion in the car ride home. We look forward to our next meeting and strengthening our marriages with other fellow believers!

Seeing Conflicts as Opportunities to Glorify God

by Joseph Ho

Editor’s Note: The following is an excerpt from Joseph Ho’s recent sermon of the same name.

This year, we are starting off the Single Life Bible study in Ken Sande’s book: The Peacemaker. We will be looking at the four G’s of peacemaking: glorify God, get the log out of your eye, gently confront, and go and be reconciled. I’d like to share an excerpt from the Bible study on the topic of “Seeing conflicts as opportunities to glorify God.”

Jesus said in Matthew 5:9, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” Peacemaking is characterized by the life of those who profess to know Christ. But peacemaking is hard because it goes against the natural desire of the flesh. In Matthew 5:38-48, Jesus addresses the most difficult aspect of all human relationships, namely, the relationship between a person and his offender. Let’s take a look at verses 38 and 39.

You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. (Matthew 5:38-39)

In verse 38, Jesus begins with “You have heard that it was said.” In the Sermon on the Mount, each time when Jesus addresses an Old Testament law by saying, “You have heard that it was said,” Jesus is bringing to light the erroneous understanding of that law as it was understood by the rabbinic traditions. “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’” The rabbinic traditions misapplied this law in two ways. First, this law was not given to encourage retaliation; instead, it was given to limit retaliation. Second, the law was not given in the context of meting out personal revenge in conflict, but the law was given to the magistrates of those days so that the judges may know how to properly administer justice and to keep order in society. We see this law three times in the Old Testament: Exodus 21:23-25, Leviticus 24:19-20, Deuteronomy 19:16-21.

Let’s read Deuteronomy 19:16-21:

If a malicious witness arises to accuse a person of wrongdoing, then both parties to the dispute shall appear before the Lord, before the priests and the judges who are in office in those days. The judges shall inquire diligently, and if the witness is a false witness and has accused his brother falsely, then you shall do to him as he had meant to do to his brother. So you shall purge the evil from your midst. And the rest shall hear and fear, and shall never again commit any such evil among you. Your eye shall not pity. It shall be life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot.

First, we see here that the law was given to show the Israelites that there are negative consequences for breaking the law of God, and that every offender will receive the just punishment for the crime. Second, we see here that the law was not given in the context of personal vengeance, but it was given to the judges of those days so that they would know how to properly administer justice.

This law is a good law because innate in our human nature is the desire to over-retaliate. We see this in Lamech in Genesis 4:23-24, “Lamech said to his wives: “Adah and Zillah, hear my voice; you wives of Lamech, listen to what I say: I have killed a man for wounding me, a young man for striking me. If Cain’s revenge is sevenfold, then Lamech’s is seventy-sevenfold.” Here, Lamech killed a man merely because that man struck him. He traded a wound for a body! We also see this in David’s life in 1 Samuel 25. When Nabal humiliated David’s servants and did not appreciate David’s kindness, David was furious and was ready to kill him. It was because of Nabal’s wife Abigail stopped David’s personal vendetta; otherwise, David would have done great harm to his witness and character as a future king of Israel.

Human vengeance always wants a pound of flesh for an ounce of offense. Jesus brings this law back to show it is wrong to use this law to carry out personal retribution.
Matthew 5:39, “But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” Here, Jesus is addressing the conflict on the personal level. He is not throwing out a blanket statement that we should not have a justice system that punishes evildoers. We learn in Romans 13:1-4 that God establishes the government to punish evildoers. And in James 4:7 and 1 Peter 5:5, we are instructed to resist the devil. What Jesus is teaching here is that, in times of personal conflict, immediate retaliation should be the last thing on our mind. This idea is repeated again in Proverbs as well. Proverbs 20:22 says, “Do not say, ‘I will repay evil’; wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.” Proverbs 24:29 says, “Do not say, ‘I will do to him as he has done to me; I will pay the man back for what he has done.’” In Jesus’ days, being slapped on the face is the most humiliating treatment of another person, and even in that kind of insult, we are not to retaliate or be quick to defend our pride.

Perhaps, Romans 12:19-21 sums up the best attitude in times of conflict:

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

During the time of the protestant reformation, there was a man by the name of George Wishart in Scotland. He was a contemporary and a friend of John Knox. He was known for his genuine love for the poor and the sick, and his passionate preaching of the true Gospel. Because of his bold opposition against the Catholic Church of that day, Cardinal David Beaton, Archbishop of St. Andrews, plotted to kill him. Beaton was an evil man. He was a Cardinal, and yet he was living in open immorality with a mistress. Seeing Wishart as an opposition to his authority, on March 1, 1545, Cardinal Beaton captured Wishart and sentenced him to be hanged and burned. During his execution, the hangman, knowing the good deeds of Wishart, was remorseful, sat down upon his knees, and said, “Sir, I pray you to forgive me, for I am not guilty of your death.” To whom Wishart kissed his cheek, and said, “Here is a token that I forgive you from my heart.” (Story from Foxe’s Book of Martyrs). Such forgiveness is impossible, unless one has tasted the forgiveness of God through Jesus Christ.

Someone said it well:

To return evil for good. That is devilish.
To return evil for evil. That is human.
To return good for evil. That is divine.

3 Passages That Shape My Ministry

by Roger Alcaraz

Every Christian needs a few key verses in their life to remind them to have the right perspective towards ministry. Whether we’re in full time ministry or not, if we’re not reminding ourselves of God’s truth, then we will often minister according to our own wisdom and strength and it will inevitably be worthless before God. That’s why I personally made a list of 10 verses (three are included in the article) to meditate on occasionally to remind me of the type of ministry I want and the type of minister I want to be. Hopefully you can make a list of your own to help you in your ministry to never stray away from God’s word.

Psalm 119:9,11

How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word…I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.

I remember memorizing this verse early in my Christian walk because it reminded me of means by which we pursue purity; it’s through God’s word. God’s word is the instrument by which the agent, the Holy Spirit, sanctifies his people. I’m not the one who can produce repentance or purity in others’ lives. But that’s not what I’m called to do. What I am called to do is present the word as faithfully as possible so that the Holy Spirit can bring about holiness in a person’s life.

It really is the reason I’m in seminary. It’s so I can get a better handle of the meaning of God’s word so I can deliver it as undamaged as possible. If the gospel is the precious medicine that can save people and deliver them from the bondage of sin, then I’m just the delivery boy. This verse reminds me of the simplicity of pastoral ministry. And while “simple” doesn’t mean “easy”, it does relieve a lot of pressure and causes me to trust God who is the only one able to cause a real change in someone.

Matthew 22:37-40

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

This has shaped every aspect of my ministry because this verse is really the fuel for it all. Everything the church does needs to be done with the love for God and people as the motivation. This is important because Jesus says that the whole law can be paraphrased by those two commands, meaning that every command of God was meant as a means of loving God and people. A simple example would be the 10 commandments in which the first four deal with loving God and the remaining six deal with loving people. There are, of course, hundreds of more laws than those 10, but if hundreds of laws could be summarized in a few short words, then those words must be important.

From a ministerial point of view, it means that I can’t lose sight of why I do the things I do. I imagine the workload of a pastor and how busy it can make someone. It can be easy for the pastorate to become the list of tasks to complete each week and for it to become routine. I imagine there are many people who enter the ministry with the right motivation and with a vision to see the name of Christ exalted. Then as the pressure bears upon them, the love for God and people become less on their minds until one day the pastor and even the church itself becomes lifeless. Sure, maybe there are activities and even sound teaching, but the members are simply going through the motions, participating or serving because that’s what they’ve always done or because no one else is doing it.

One of the sharpest examples of this is Christ’s address to the Ephesian church in Revelation 2 where he commends them for certain things but holds something weighty against them, that they forgot the love they had at first. It’s a danger all churches face and it reminds us to always be cultivating that deep love for God first and foremost, and then out of that, a love for one another. Apart from doing these, we cannot please God in anything we do.

2 Timothy 2:2

what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.

I may be only 27, but I am a grandfather. Not biologically of course, but spiritually. I have discipled and led people to Christ who have turned around and discipled and led others to Christ. So far, there’s only two generations after me but I’m always telling the people I disciple this verse and that I want great grandchildren and great great grandchildren. For me, Wayne Hu is my grandpa. He invested in a friend of his named Kevin Au who later invested in me. And when I say invest, I don’t just mean he shared the gospel so that I’m saved and he could leave. I mean he taught the gospel to me and then for the next three years trained me in how to study the Bible, how to share the gospel with others, what God’s word says, and how to be a godly man. And to this day I still remember one of his final lessons for me. He told me that I need to take the things I’ve learned and pass them along to someone else to keep the cycle going. And that’s what I have been doing for different people. What’s amazing is that I follow the same pattern that I saw before me. After seeing a person saved, I entrust to them the things that I have heard and tell them they need to do the same for others.

This pattern will follow me in ministry because I will always be investing in people and if it doesn’t yield fruit beyond the person, it wasn’t a very good investment. I remember I was given a group of mature believers for small group last year, so what we did was go through a series on sharing the gospel and biblical counseling and I gave them the homework of finding a younger guy and invest in him. The amazing thing is that they all were able to do this within 2 weeks and I’ve seen the fruits of their labor in these people’s lives, either by maturing in their faith or by being saved. If I become a pastor, I know not all of the work of ministry will be on me, but I want everyone to be investing in people for the sake of building up the church and reaching the lost.

Age of Opportunity: Chapter 4 – Moment-by-Moment Pursuit of God

by Josh Liu

O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways. (Psalm 139:1-3)

It is an amazing truth that we may be known by God. That is, God is personally active in the life of a person and intimately relates to His elect children. Yet how often is it the case that we forget God. On a scale of 1-10 (1 being nonexistent, 10 being constant), how would you evaluate your consciousness of God throughout your day, from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep? You are never at a moment where you can be truly self-sufficient or independent of God; to seek independence from God is sin. Adam and Eve incurred the curses of God by rejecting dependence on God’s words (Gen. 3:1-19); sinners under the wrath of God, refusing to honor God as God or give thanks to Him, are abandoned to their wickedness and depravity (Rom. 1:18-32). God ought to so saturate your life that to “remove” God from your life would leave nothing behind.

This is the theme of chapter four, “What Is a Family? A Job Description,” in Paul David Tripp’s Age of Opportunity. The present article seeks to summarize this chapter. This book is one resource the youth staff has been reviewing to complement our study on biblical parenting. The youth ministry seeks to partner with parents in the discipleship of their (youth-age) children, which requires understanding what God requires of parents revealed in His Word. In chapter three, Tripp proposed that the family is God’s primary learning community, with parents as the primary educators (Tripp, 41). He goes on in chapter four to describe principles that guide parents in teaching “God’s truth in everyday life” (p. 53). He identifies three foundational themes to every human situation for parents to remember: 1) family is a theological community, 2) family is a sociological community, 3) family is a redemptive community.

Family Is a Theological Community

Tripp posits that “the ultimate fact of family life is the fact that God exists and that we are his creatures” (Tripp, 54). Thus, the parents’ goal is to “root our children’s identity in the existence and glory of God” (Tripp, 54). Life finds true meaning in God.

Why think, work, obey, love, study, discuss, serve, or give? Why? Why? All of life blows into a chaotic mass of meaningless choices unless it is rooted in the one fact that makes every other fact make sense–GOD. (Tripp. 55)

This teaching by parents of a moment-by-moment consciousness of God is founded on Deuteronomy 6:20-25. To do this, parents should remember:

  1. That every moment is God’s moment. “There is never a moment where God is absent, or inactive” (Tripp, 56). Teens (or sinners in general) do not naturally live in God’s moment, but rather are wholly self-focused, focused on the horizontal and present.
  2. There is always a higher agenda. The greater purpose of every situation of life is God’s purpose, not personal desires or happiness.
  3. Their (the teens’) story in God’s story. The Bible has often been mishandled as some sort of glorified encyclopedia with verses organized topically. Scripture is the unified revelation of God’s story in redeeming His people. To teach God’s truth to children “means that every day, in every way possible, to embed the story of your teenager in the larger story of God” (Tripp, 59).
  4. To exhort their children to trust and obey God. People tend “to do things that are God’s job and they forget to do the things that he has called them to do” (Tripp, 61).

Family Is a Sociological Community

Family involves relationships, which will provide opportunities for conflict and sin (cf. James 4:1-2). Thus, Tripp writes,

The family will teach and model what it means to love your neighbor as yourself or it will violate that standard at every point and teach a self-centered individualism. Powerful messages about the nature of relationships will be taught in they way Mom and Dad talk to one another, serve one another, make decisions, and deal with their differences. It is impossible for a family to escape teaching and modeling some functional philosophy of relationship for its children. (Tripp, 63)

For example, you have heard of stories of siblings in a heated argument. In the midst of the yelling, the sister picks up a phone call from a friend and her tone and demeanor completely transforms to a sweet gentle voice. “The family is the context where the teenager’s true heart toward relationships is consistently exposed” (Tripp, 65).

Family Is a Redemptive Community

Finally, Tripp describes the family as the context of in-depth, constant modeling of the gospel. “Because of sin, the family is a place of unfulfilled promises, broken dreams, and disappointed expectations” (Tripp, 65). The revealing of sin opens opportunities for revealing the need of Christ. Tripp encourages parents to model the gospel by confessing their own specific sins and failures to their children, and communicating their own need of Christ. Tripp shares a powerful experience with his daughter who, one night, broke down before him, telling him that she

“can’t do it, I can’t do what you are asking me. It’s just impossible…When you tell me to give [my brothers] something of mine, I do, but I hate it and I am mad at you for asking me and mad at them for taking it! I don’t want to share, I hate it! It’s impossible to enjoy!…She began to realize that in her own strength, by the exercise of her own will, she could not obey God. In her room that night, she began to cry out for Christ. (Tripp, 67)

Parents need to remember that empowering work of God in those who put their faith in Him (cf. 2 Cor. 12:9; Phil. 4:13). Tripp also encourages parents to not distance themselves from their children’s sins and failures, but to identify with them (Tripp, 69). He reminds parents that they cannot shelter their children from this fallen world, but to redeem it by bringing in the gospel.

The parent can teach God’s truth everyday, in the mundane moments of life, by remembering that the family is a theological, sociological, and redemptive community. Ultimately to remember God and point their children to God in every moment. The parents’ job is not to raise “successful,” wealthy, well-liked, independent children. Rather, their job is to glorify God by bringing their children up in the instruction of the Lord. These are helpful reminders and principles as Lumos youth ministry seeks to support families through the ministry of prayer and God’s Word.

To encourage you to pursue moment-by-moment God awareness, consider the following reflections:

  1. When you worry about food or clothing, remember God’s gracious provisions (cf. Matt. 6:25).
  2. When you see a bird, may you be reminded of God’s sovereignty and care for you (cf. Matt. 6:26).
  3. When you’re stuck in line or in traffic, or are running late, remember God’s plans (cf. Prov. 16:9; James 4:13-15).
  4. When you have to work, remember God’s joy in faithfulness (cf. Matt. 25:21b; Eph. 6:5).
  5. When you suffer, remember the privilege of sharing in Christ’s sufferings (cf. Phil. 1:29; 1 Peter 4:13)
  6. When you see the stars, remember God’s omnipotence and omniscience over creation (cf. Ps. 147:4).
  7. When you experience illness, remember God’s strength and promise of eternal glory (cf. 2 Cor. 12:9; Rev. 21:4).
  8. When you handle money or valuables, may you remember the surpassing treasure of Christ who ransomed you with His precious blood (cf. Phil. 3:8; 1 Peter 1:18-19).
  9. When you wake up in the morning or age, remember God’s grace of life, mercies, and coming judgment (cf. Lam. 3:22-24; Ecc. 11:9).

The list goes on. May Scripture–God–saturate your every moment.

Marriage Check Up: Session 1

by Pastor Patrick Cho & John Mark Wendler

For Grace Life this year, we are going through a helpful study to evaluate our marriages to see what areas are in need of some fine tuning (. . . or major overhaul!). In order to facilitate this discussion, we are walking through Wayne Mack’s book, Preparing for Marriage God’s Way. This is the book we normally use in our premarital counseling, but I have found it to be helpful as a tool to check up on marriages as well, post-wedding. For each session, both husband and wife are asked to do the homework independent of their spouse. They are then to get together to talk through their answers as a couple. (Since the book is intended to be a premarital counseling help, obviously, some of the questions need to be reinterpreted to fit a post-wedding relationship.) All the couples get together, then, at Grace Life to walk through the lesson together.

Each week, I am also asking one of our Grace Life members to write a brief response to the lesson. This week, John Mark Wendler offered his thoughts:

What was the title/topic of this week’s Grace Life discussion?

The first session of our study covered the basis for a successful marriage.

What were some of the highlights from the study or a general overview of what the study covered?

It is always helpful to hear from a group of people who have thoughtfully answered questions like, “What thoughts does the word marriage bring to you?” and “What are biblical reasons for marriage?” A highlight of tonight’s session was having to think critically about what my thinking on marriage is affected by, and if I am looking to God’s wisdom in Scripture for help in my own marriage.

What were some of the primary or significant Bible passages from the study?

  • 1 Corinthians 8:9-13 was brought up in relation to public displays of affection.
  • Ephesians 5:25 talking about the sacrificial love that Christ has for the church, so much so that he gave himself up, and how we in the same way are to love our wives.
  • Genesis 1-2 speaking to the foundations for marriage.
  • Philippians 2:3-4 talking about considering others as more important than yourself. Again instruction that holds a very high place in a successful marriage.

What lessons did you find particularly challenging from the study? Why?

Instruction was given to avoid giving advice to others exclusively or solely from my own experience with dating. This is always a helpful reminder to me, as personal experience is something easily shared, I understand that even anything I’ve done that might be considered wise, pales in comparison to the wisdom of God, found in the Bible. Psalm 25:5 says, “Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.”

Were there any helpful responses from the group discussion that you did not originally consider? What were they? Why were they helpful?

It was helpful when one of the members took the 30,000 foot view of dating in the context of our discussion about giving advice to individuals who are dating or who want to date. This helped me, knowing that the guidance we are given in Scripture is applicable across cultures and time periods. By focusing on the, why, of what we do, particularly in the big areas of life, like choosing someone to spend the rest of your life with, it helps to focus on what that means for my own future, as I strive to serve my spouse for the glory of God. Knowing that the specifics can be arbitrary, the ultimate focus must be on pleasing our Lord and Savior.