Category Archives: Affinity Groups

Loving Strangers, Loving Christ

by Roger Alcaraz

Something I love about my wife is how kind she is to all people, especially strangers. When I was a sophomore in college, my family visited me and I wanted to be a good host. But rather than attempting this alone, I decided to just grab the nicest person I could find and let them do the work. That person was my good friend who is now my lovely wife, Grace. I had roommates and other nice friends who were also a joy to be around, but I wasn’t just looking for someone who loved people. My family hardly knew anyone in San Diego, so I was looking for someone who loved strangers. I knew she wouldn’t have to “warm up” to my family; she loved them the moment they met and it was obvious. As a result, when I told my mom that Grace was now my girlfriend, she was excited and knew I had made a wise choice, even after meeting only once.

Love stories aside, I believe my wife was simply modeling the love that we are all called to by God. I’m sure many of us are aware that the qualification for being a church elder is that he is hospitable, literally, “a lover of strangers.” But this requirement applies to all of us because it goes back to when God first gave his law. In Leviticus 19:18, God says, “You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD.” It should be obvious that if our neighbor is the person we would want to seek vengeance, then our neighbor is really all people. But this is the question a lawyer had for Jesus when he asked in “Who is my neighbor?” (Luke 10:29). Jesus proceeds with the parable of the good Samaritan in which a Levite and a priest take precautions to avoid a fatally injured man lying helplessly on the road, but a Samaritan made sacrifices and suffered a great inconvenience to save this man and restore him to good health. Jesus never indicated any relationship between the Samaritan and the man because in Jesus’ mind, that should bear no factor in the way we love one another. I’m reminded of Matthew 25:34-35 where Jesus taught that in the final judgement, he will one day commend his elect, saying, “Come…inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was a stranger and you welcomed me.” And when people ask when they did such a thing, Jesus will respond, “Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me” (v. 40). He continues to say that those who do not show love like this will go away into eternal punishment.

Clearly, loving strangers is serious in God’s eyes as it deals with the second and even the first greatest commandment. So then, why are we not more hospitable? I can’t speak for the individual, but I can say that when people walk through our church doors, they should immediately feel like the guest of honor. Instead, we often let them pass by in order to show love with those we’re more familiar with or those who are easier to love. This isn’t the way it should be but I am encouraged by all the times I see members inviting people they just met on Sunday into their homes, or spending hours listening to a stranger’s struggles. In college, the tendency can be to spend the most time with your own class and love them more than the rest. But if Christ came to divide the wall of hostility between Jew and Gentile (Ephesians 2:14), I’m sure the wall standing between classes, schools, genders, or stages in life is in pieces now. So let us love without boundaries, and as we do, Christ will be glorified and pleased.

Success

by Kristen Lim

‘Tis the season of graduations galore! Recently our youth group had a Grad Night to celebrate with two 8th graders as they finished middle school. It is an exciting time of completing a stage of life and moving on to new terrain, but also extremely daunting knowing that growing older means making decisions that can greatly affect one’s future. There is also the pressure of pursing success and greatness in this life, and already the youth face this challenge at school as they work hard in getting good grades and involving themselves in extra-curricular activities.

My small group just finished a study on the topic of success and what it truly means to be successful in God’s eyes. We studied multiple passages from the Bible to understand what God has to say about this pertinent topic. Since God is the author of life, He defines what is true success and how to live a fruitful life that is not wasted. The verse that we used as the starting point in this study was 2 Corinthians 5:9 which says, “So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please Him.” If it ought to be our desire to please God, then the next hurdle is to figure out what pleases Him. Here is a sampling of what we discovered:

1. The Picture of Success: Faithfulness

In Jesus’ Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14-30), He describes how God rewards those who are faithful in their given task. The servants all start with different amounts of money and are expected to be industrious with their share. The master repeats the same commendation to the hard-working servants, “Well done, good and faithful servant…” because they all put in effort to gain a profit with the provided money, while the lazy servant chose not to honor his master. Thus, success (hearing “well done” from God) is measured by the degree of effort.

2. The Pressure of Success: Pride

When we experience the fruit of our labor, there is a tendency to take pride in ourselves rather than attribute the glory to the provider of that success. In the book of Proverbs, God uses very strong language to communicate His utter disdain for the proud. For example, Proverbs 8:13 reads, “The fear of the LORD is to hate evil; pride and arrogance and the evil way and the perverted mouth, I hate,” also Proverbs 16:5 says, “Everyone who is proud in heart is an abomination to the LORD; assuredly, he will not be unpunished,” and finally Proverbs 16:18 plainly states, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling.” There are many ways for pride to be manifested in one’s life, but especially in the midst of good circumstances such as growth in our spiritual walks or even material prosperity, our heart’s focus needs to be directed to the giver of those blessings, knowing that in and of ourselves we can do nothing apart from God’s grace.

3. The Passion of Success: Love

The passion of success is the same as the passion statement of Lighthouse: to love God and people. Love ought to permeate every aspect of our lives as we serve in various ministries, meet up with people, and try to live according to God’s word. In 1 Corinthians 13 it is eye-opening to know that it is possible to appear holy, do lots of good deeds, and even be esteemed by others as being a faithful, successful servant of the Lord, but if you don’t have love then you are nothing. God sees our heart’s intentions and wants His church to be characterized by love for Him and for people in everything that we do.

Throughout Scripture God reveals what truly pleases Him and what He hates. It is clear that we need to fight hard to not let worldly ideas of success infiltrate our minds, and instead allow God’s truth to be the authority in how we define and pursue success. God doesn’t want us to live aimlessly with no ambition or goals; rather Christians have the greatest and noblest purpose in life: to bring glory to our glorious God and please Him in all that we do. So whether it is being a student, working a 9-5 job, or taking care of the kids at home, it should be our “aim to please Him” and hear from God, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” And that is a truly successful person.

An Encounter With The Natural Mind

by Pastor Patrick Cho

In our home, we have a typical bedtime routine with our kids before putting them down for the night. Especially with our older one, generally, we’ll read through a Bible account together, sing a worship song, and pray. We conclude with bedtime kisses (I usually get ten while Christine gets a hundred… I still don’t see how that’s fair). A couple years ago, I remember that instead of going to one of our usual books, I ended up talking to my daughter about Heaven and Hell. I know this is a weighty subject right before bedtime, but for some reason that I can’t recall, the topic came up.

I remember asking her, “Why do you think people go to Hell?” Her reply was, “Because they do bad things.” I was curious so I continued to question her, “And what kinds of people do you think get to go to Heaven?” Her response was expected. “People who do good things.” And she started going on and on listing examples of good behavior like listening to parents, telling the truth, picking up your toys, etc. She was convinced that if people were good enough and did enough good things, they would be allowed to go to Heaven.

Isn’t it interesting that this is the way we are naturally inclined to answer? Even to a three or four year old, it made perfect sense that bad behavior should be punished and good behavior should be rewarded. Why shouldn’t good people be allowed into Heaven if bad people are sent to Hell? I think I’ll always remember the confused look on her face when I told her this isn’t exactly the way things work.

The Lord provided a wonderful opportunity to explain to her that our sin is not just limited to the things that we do. It is a condition of the heart. We do the bad things we do because of the “badness” of our hearts. I suppose good people would be allowed into Heaven, but the problem is that there aren’t any good people. Because of our sin condition, ultimately no one is good before God. Even if we could bank on our goodness to get us into Heaven, every person would utterly fail. Our sin taints everything that we do so that we have nothing worthy to bring before the Lord. If not in our direct actions, our motives and goals are not God-glorifying. We seek to be better people by our behavior. We may even be noble enough to seek the good of others. But it is only by faith that we can be pleasing to God (Heb. 11:6). I explained to my daughter that it isn’t about trying to be good enough because she can’t be good enough. Her sin will always get in the way.

This is the reason we need to rely upon God to save us from our sins. Our hope must come from outside ourselves. He sent Jesus to die on the cross to pay the punishment for our sins. He died so that we could have life. If we have any hope of going to heaven, it will only be because we trusted in what Jesus did for us, and not in the things we tried to do on our own. We place our faith in Him – in who He is and in His death and resurrection – so that we can have the hope of eternal life (cf. Eph. 2:8-9).

This encounter was just one of many reminders that even in the sincerity of our hearts, we can be completely wrong. Things can make total sense to us about the way we are living and what we are striving for. We might have noble intentions and the best motives. But in the end, without Christ, we have no hope of being in good standing with God.

I praise God that He has revealed His will to us in His written Word and doesn’t communicate it to us in some subjective way through impressions and feelings. He doesn’t just tell us to go and do what we think is right. Instead, He tells us clearly what is right and what is wrong, what is truth and what is error, to guide us down the unmistakable road we ought to walk.

The Apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians that the natural mind cannot understand the things of God (1 Cor. 2:14). It is only by the grace of God that we can even think the way we ought according to the truth. We are blinded by our sins in our own understanding. We need God to illumine our darkened hearts to the truth. Instead of having us trust in our own intuition, He calls us to trust in His truth. Left to herself, my daughter cannot know the severity of her sin and the desperate condition of her soul. This is why I strive to point her continually back to the Word of God so that she can think rightly not only about the problem in her heart, but also the solution God provided in Jesus Christ. And as she grows I pray that the Lord will help her to see the amazing grace He offers to sinners who deserve judgment and that by grace her heart will respond in faith and thanksgiving.

Desiring the Milk of the Word

“Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation.” (1 Peter 2:2)

by Joseph Ho

The word “long for” (evpipoqe,w, epipothēo) basically means to “desire earnestly.” This word is used in the New Testament in the context of desiring or yearning to see someone (Romans 1:11; Philippians 1:8; 1 Thessalonians 3:6). It is also used in the Septuagint (The Greek translation of the Hebrew Old Testament) in Psalm 42:1 to express one’s desire for God, “As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God.”

Here in the context of 1 Peter 2:2, Peter is exhorting us to long for the Word like newborns longing for the mother’s milk. We see in this metaphor that just like newborns, we have received our spiritual birth in Christ through the living Word (1 Peter 1:3, 1:23). Just like newborns, we are dependent on the Word for our spiritual nourishment and growth.
One of the characteristics of the newborn is the baby’s undistracted desire to eat. Newborns are never interested in the stimulations of the environment, but rather, they focus solely on feeding and growth! Similarly, we ought to cultivate the same intensity and focus to desire the Word of God.

We see this desire in the life of Apostle Paul. He says in Philippians 3:13-14, “Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

We also see this desire in Mary. We read in Luke 10:38-42, “Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
Even though Martha did a lot more for Christ, Jesus was more pleased with Mary because her sole desire was to sit at His feet and listen to His teaching. This year’s theme is “One Thing I Do.” In our relationship with the Word of God, the one thing we must do is to earnestly feed on it.

Interestingly, we learned through modern science that the mother’s milk has antibodies. It gives the baby defense against infection. The mother’s milk has the perfect balance of nutrients. It causes the newborn to grow very quickly. During breastfeeding, the hormone, oxytocin, is released which causes the baby and the mother to bond with each other. The feeding time nurtures the intimacy between the mother and the child.

Apostle Peter probably didn’t have this scientific knowledge when he wrote 1 Peter, but I believe he chose to use this metaphor because he saw the amazing growth of the newborns upon feeding on the mother’s milk. In the same way, when we feed on the pure milk of the Word, we grow in our intimacy with God; we have a deeper delight in spiritual things; we increase in spiritual understanding; we gain wisdom to deal with the issues of life; we have greater love and stronger faith in God; we desire less for the things of this world; and we are able to obey His Word more consistently, and as a result, we receive blessings from God.

Psalm 1:1-3, “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.”

This is God’s true prosperity gospel. No, God is not going to necessarily give you wealth, fame, or comfort. But when you desire his Word, he will prosper you by drawing you closer to Him, drawing you closer to the blessings not of this earth but of heaven.

Jeremiah 15:16, “Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart.”

(Editor’s Note: we encourage you to listen to Joseph’s sermon on this topic here.)

Age of Opportunity: Chapter 3 – Like Apples and Oranges

“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” (Proverbs 4:23)

by Josh Liu

Do you have a robust theology of fruits and plants? I am not speaking of literal fruits and plants, or that God created them, or of their design and purpose in a complex cycle of natural life. Rather, are you familiar with Christ’s analogy of fruits and trees to illustrate man’s actions and spiritual condition? The actions, words, thoughts, and motives of a person (the fruit) reveals the spiritual condition of that person’s heart (the tree/root). How does Christ’s teaching, that you will know a false teacher by his fruits (cf. Matt. 7:15-20; 12:33-37; Luke 6:43-45), impact your understanding of man? Of confronting sin? Of your philosophy of ministry?

good_heart_bad_heart6 good_heart_bad_heart5

The Lumos youth staff has been reading through Paul David Tripp’s Age of Opportunity. It has been helpful in considering biblical principles related to parenting, which is significant as Lumos seeks to partner with parents in the discipleship of their children. In chapter three, “What Is A Family? A Definition,” Tripp identifies several ways the Bible describes children (which may be applied to all people): children are covenantal beings, children are social beings, children are interpreters, and children behave out of the heart.

There are few principles concerning biblical anthropology as important as understanding that man acts out of the passions, desires, will, wishes, plans, and thoughts of the heart (cf. Prov. 4:23; Matt. 12:34b). Tripp helpfully reminds us that often times, parents’ goals focus on getting their children to obey or meet their expectations; in other words, behavior control. Since Scripture (and God) is concerned with the heart (cf. Ps. 51:16-17; Jer. 31:33; Ezek. 36:6; Matt. 22:37-40), parenting (and youth ministry) ought to focus on the heart. Speaking of parents, Tripp says, “Our goal is to be used of God to expose and nurture the hearts of our children so that they want to behave in ways that please the Lord” (Tripp, 48).

To slightly modify Christ’s illustration used at the beginning of this article, in the context of shepherding the heart of a youth, the staff seeks to confront actions, words, responses, etc. (the fruit) to examine the motivations, intentions, and desires (the heart). This goes beyond behavior modification. Tripp concludes,

This “sin is bad, don’t do it” brand of parenting forgets that sin is not only a matter of behavior, but a matter of the thoughts and motives of the heart as well. It fails to recognize that if the heart does not change, any behavior changes that take place will be temporary and cosmetic, because they will not be attached to roots in the heart. (Tripp, 50)

In shepherding the heart, the staff seeks to help the youth examine themselves through a biblical lens. We challenge them to realize that particular fruit will accompany a particular tree (cf. Gal. 5:16-26)–one who is genuinely saved will demonstrate a life of repentance; one who is not saved will demonstrate a life of unrepentant sin. We also challenge the youth who profess to know Christ as their Lord and Savior, to continually submit areas of their heart in repentance and to seek God-honoring actions, words, and attitudes.

man heart God heart

How do you address the heart when counseling? when evangelizing? when making decisions? when repenting of sin? David Powlison’s “X-ray Questions: Drawing Out the Whys and Wherefores of Human Behavior” from The Journal of Biblical Counseling provides a helpful sampler of heart-probing questions. May your heart be found with Christ at the center (cf. Matt. 6:20-21; Phil. 3:8).

The Care of God’s Children

by Carol Lim

I am extremely blessed to be a part of Fireflies Nursery ministry.  This is where I get to serve the children and the parents, but more than that, this is a ministry that God has used and continues to use to teach me truth about Himself.

I was recently reading a passage in Matthew 18 where Jesus’ disciples are debating about being the greatest in the Kingdom.  As they are arguing, Jesus brings a child in the midst to exhort those listening to have a childlike faith (v.1-3) and to be humble like a child (v.4) – completely lacking in sophistication and power, yet filled with simplicity and totally dependent on others to care for them.  I saw from this passage how Jesus used a child to teach His disciples, children of God, a lesson about His love and affection for His own, and His desire in wanting to protect His children from falling into sin.  He even lays out a harsh statement that “whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.” (v.6)  How terrified those disciples must have been, when they realized that by bickering and arguing about being the greatest in the Kingdom they were in fact provoking each other to bitterness, pride, envy, jealousy and thus mutually causing each other to sin.

The passage helped me to think through how our Heavenly Father feels about wanting to make sure that His children are being cared for.  Having raised two children and now watching my older child raise a daughter of her own there is no doubt in my mind how far I would go to protect my children from anyone trying to harm them.  If you attempt to harm my child (or my grandchild) I would probably come after you.  There’s no question that I’m committed to care for them, to protect them from any harm and danger.  This kind of love and care is what I regularly witness as I see moms and dads bring in their child into nursery week after week.  I see how the parents want to make sure that their child is safe and is being cared for (I see some nervous first-time moms peeking in through the window from time to time).  Likewise I am reminded to be cautious about how I treat another believer, who is a child of God.  How I treat God’s people has always been of great concern to God.  My attitude, speech, and actions all have a huge implication on whether I’m causing another believer to love God or to sin.  It is no longer just about my spiritual well-being, but also looking out for another believer, encouraging him/her to grow in their knowledge and understanding of Him who constantly desires to love, care and protect us.

Singles’ Retreat Recap

by Randy Tsuchiyama

This year’s Single’s Retreat was titled, “Living Sacrifices” and was centered on the theme of worship. Through the four messages that Dr. Andy Snider gave during the retreat, the importance of worship was clearly portrayed. Thinking about what worship ought to look like and seeing how I approach worship brought a lot of conviction about changes that I need to make in my life

The first two sermons of the retreat were used to exposit the story of worship in the Bible. During the first sermon, Dr. Snider explained what worship in the Old Testament looked like. During the second sermon, he explained what worship looked like in the New Testament. One key point that hit home for me was that worship is something that needs to be done every moment of my life and is not relegated to certain events throughout the week (namely, Sunday worship service). Though this point was not a new one, being reminded of the importance of worship in EVERY THING that I do was a very sobering one. I was challenged to think through worshipping God in how I work, how I serve at church, and even how I choose to relax. As a worshipper of Christ, I am called to revere, love, and submit to God in everything that I do

The last two sermons of the retreat were about the worshipping church’s identity. Dr. Snider discussed what our identity as a church ought to be based on the fact that we are Christians and that we are all worshippers of Christ. As a church that is worshipping God, we are all redeemed, separated, devoted, and related (like a family). Thinking about how to love one another like family is a huge challenge. The way that we love is the way that we make the love of God visible to this lost and dying world around us. The way that we ought to be showing love to one another should look drastically different than what the world expects love to look like. This is one aspect of worship that I was particularly challenged by and am looking to grow in more and more.

The topic of worship is such an important one for the Christian. Worship is what we do every moment of our lives. Sometimes we choose to worship ourselves and other times we choose to worship God. After being blessed by the preaching of Dr. Snider, I am praying that God graciously helps me to choose to worship Him more and more everyday.

Facing Change

by Samantha Zhang

I’ve been noticing that almost every conversation I have with a collegian includes discussing the many unknowns of their future: career choices, relationships, marriage, relocating and much more. These conversations make me nostalgic and bring me back to my college years when thinking about my future seemed so daunting and figuring out God’s will for my life seemed so confusing.

When I was a senior in college, one of my good friends shared a quote with me that has stuck with me through the years: “There are two constants in life: change and God.” My life has definitely been a testament to the truth of this quote. When I was a new graduate, I remember feeling overwhelmed by the many uncertainties that I was confronted with upon entering “the real world.” My friends moved all over and even out of the country, and I didn’t know whether to stay in San Diego or move back home; I had no idea if I should continue pursuing physical therapy or not; my church had gone through a split, and I had just begun dating. Fast forward four years later, and here I am–a wife to Matt, a mother to Rylan and a homemaker. I have definitely experienced a lot of change, but through it all, God has been my one constant. His word, His promises and His faithful character have been the unwavering stronghold in my life. As someone who has struggled a lot with change, I encourage you to consider the following points the next time you encounter uncertainty in your life:

  1. Let God be your stability. Isaiah 33:6 says “He will be the stability of your times.” What gives your life stability? Is it a relationship? Financial stability? Securing a specific career? One way I assess whether I am finding my hope in my circumstances instead of Christ is by asking myself whether I would be okay if God’s plans for my life are not the same as my plans. “The heart of a man plans his ways, but the Lord establishes his steps” (Proverbs 16:9). If I find myself in despair or distraught by change in my life, it is usually because I am not finding my stability in Him alone. Make Christ your sure foundation and the stability of your times and you will find that no matter what circumstantial changes take place in your life, you will have the peace that surprasses all comprehension that only God can give.
  2. Focus on obeying God’s revealed will instead of obsessing over his unrevealed will. Be careful not to become overly preoccupied with trying to discern God’s will for your future. Undoubtedly, it is important to pray, search God’s word and seek counsel when making important decisions that affect your future. But I challenge you to be even more diligent in being sure that you are living out God’s revealed will (what we know from His word) for your life. It may not be God’s will for you to know all of the plans He has for your life, but you do know it is His will for you to love Him with your whole being (Matthew 22:37), to rejoice always and pray without ceasing (1 Thess 5:17), to outdo one another in showing honor (Romans 12:10), etc. Focus on obeying what you do know about His will.
  3. Remember your life is but a vapor. James 4:14 says “Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.” Psalm 103:15-16 emphasizes the same point: “As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more.” Let these verses humble you. Consider your life and all your future plans in light of eternity. Our lives are a mere snippet within God’s glorious eternal plan and we should be in awe that He would allow us to take part in it. We must remember that we exist to glorify God. Our lives are not about ourselves! Contrary to what our selfie-obsessed culture teaches us, our lives are not to be wasted by trying to build a name for ourselves on earth. We are to be living sacrifices, making much of Him and being obedient to His will for our lives and whatever He may be calling us to.

Change, as scary as it can be, is an inescapable part of life. In Matthew 8, Jesus led His disciples into a storm. And just as Jesus was with the disciples in the storm, you can be assured that wherever He leads you in your life, He will be with you. If the unchanging Christ is your stability, you will not be dismayed when you encounter change. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). What an immense comfort this should be for our souls! We have a God whose character is consistent and unwavering! May we continue to press on in the good race, keeping our eyes fixed on our changeless Christ.

Age of Opportunity: Chapter 2 – Idols of Youth Ministry

by Josh Liu

Mentioned in an earlier post, the Lumos Youth Ministry staff has been working through Paul David Tripp’s Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens. It has been a beneficial resource in helping us examine our goals and philosophy of youth ministry. In Chapter 2, “Whose Idols Are in the Way?,” Tripp begins with the following thought:

If we are ever to be effective for Christ in the lives of our teenagers, it is important to be honest about our own idols–the places where we have tended to exchange worship and service of the Creator for worship and service of created things (Tripp, 29).

Tripp reminds readers that something is always ruling our hearts. While many sincere believers might immediately affirm Christ as Lord over their hearts, their thoughts, desires, actions, words, investments, and priorities often reveal who is truly God in their lives. Parents must be careful in allowing their own expectations of or goals for their children from becoming idols, from blinding themselves to God-given opportunities to point their children to their Creator.

Tripp highlights five common idols that parents might be blinded to:

  1. The Idol of Comfort. This is the demand of or feeling entitled to your peace and comfort. The parent expects to come home to quiet, well-behaved children after a long day of work. When this is an entrenched idol of the parent’s heart, Tripp observes that parents will begin to see their children as the enemy and that “they will begin to fight with him rather than for him” (Tripp, 32). Comfort is not in and of itself evil or wrong to be desired, but when it becomes a demand, the sole focus in the home, then it usurps God’s rightful rule over the heart.
  2. The Idol of Respect. This heart demands that his child fear him and give him the respect that he thought he deserved (Tripp, 32). This often manifests itself in anger, “attack” responses, criticism, exasperation with the child, and belittlement, with the ultimate goal of perfect obedience to the parent. Again, respect is not bad, but it cannot be produced by the will of the parent. Parents ought to teach and instill respect of parents in their children, yet trust in God to produce such godly responses according to His will.
  3. The Idol of Appreciation. Parents certainly work hard. They are their children’s chauffeurs, cooks, laundromats, doctors, banks, cleaners, secretaries, and so on. Parents go to great lengths and sacrifice to care for their children. “Children should appreciate their parents. Yet being appreciated cannot be [their] goal” (Tripp, 33). Many parents reveal by their actions that they expect or demand their children to acknowledge, thank, and appreciate them for everything they do. This idol blinds the parent to his God-ordained role as a parent to shepherd his children unto the Lord.
  4. The Idol of Success. This heart views children as the parents’ trophies rather than God’s creatures (Tripp, 35). This idol moves parents to train up their children to bring them glory rather than God. These parents’ sense of identity is so wrapped up in the achievements, obedience, and “success” of their children that they lay aside God’s ultimate authority and sovereignty.
  5. The Idol of Control. This heart seeks to control and direct every choice, preference, priority, and outcome of the child. While young children are heavily dependent on their parents, that authority subsides as they grow older. Parents who are unwilling to relinquish control often seek to exercise total sovereignty in the life of their children. Yet only God exercises this kind of control.

I believe Tripp puts it best:

“[Every] parent needs to ask, ‘Why am I doing what I am doing? Who am I serving? What are the things that I have come to expect and demand? Whose desires rule the moments of opportunity with my teenager–God’s or mine?’” (Tripp, 34).

In our goal to partner with parents in the discipleship of their children, the staff needs to biblically examine our own hearts. Whether we grew up going to a youth group or not, we all come with a set of expectations when it comes to youth ministry. There are ministry fads that “guarantee” a vibrant, fruitful youth ministry; there are parents who demand certain results from staffers and youth pastors; there are personal experiences that tempt us to think a certain event or model will produce desired results. Here’s a personal non-exhaustive (and largely incomplete) list of idols of youth ministry that the staff needs prayer over:

  1. The Idol of Relevance. Being “hip” (or hipster? Not sure what’s cool now), up-to-date with pop culture, speaking with the same vernacular (e.g. abbreviations that replace sentences and permeate with self-centeredness, like “TFTI”), dressing with the current (youth) fashion, and so on, are often a temptation for youth ministries to compromise the centrality of God’s Word, the holiness of God-exalting worship, the dignity of faithful servants, and the unity of the local church.
  2. The Idol of Relationality. What I mean is the idols of staff-youth relationships, attractiveness to outsiders, profuse social events, and story-filled “sermonettes.” These youth ministries do not support parent relationships, spend more time planning than discipling, and produce low-quality sermons. They often vie for a youth’s transparency and vulnerability that at times subverts parents’ influence.
  3. The Idol of Serving. Without any intention of referring to any particular work of literature, many youth ministries want their youth to simply get involved and do things at church or in the community for the sake of “just doing it.” Often times, when a youth ministry idolizes service, a youth’s participation is the measurement of their faithfulness, maturity, or even salvation. These youth ministries often have student leaders and volunteers who are not qualified, shown proven character, or even saved.

These are just a few of the idols that beset youth ministry. To be clear, there are many aspects in the above that are not inherently sinful and have redeeming features, but when they become the drive for ministry, when the staff expect or prioritize the above over and against God’s priorities laid out in Scripture, then we err and are not serving in the most God-honoring manner. The staff must continually examine our underlying motives, and actively seek to glorify God by redeeming opportunities to disciple the youth through the faithful exposition of God’s Word. Please pray for us, the youth, the families, and the church that we might seek to live for Christ our King and that we might destroy the idols of our hearts.

The Tabernacle (Exodus 25-30)

by Dennis Su

In Sonlight, we’re continuing our study of the Old Testament, focusing on the book of Exodus for the past few weeks. We recently learned about the tabernacle and how it was used by God to dwell with the Israelites. It has been encouraging to see the interest the kids have about the tabernacle and items within it. What has also been encouraging in studying the tabernacle is seeing how God uses the tabernacle to point to Christ.

In one of the lessons, we saw how the Mercy Seat and the Day of Atonement pointed to Christ’s atonement for man’s sin and how the sins of the Israelites were covered through this ceremony. We can also see how other items in the tabernacle point to Christ and to God’s holiness. The veil separating the Holy Place from the Holy of Holies conveys God’s holiness and His separation from man’s sinfulness. Later we see in the New Testament (Hebrews 10:19-20) that Jesus represented the new way for man to be brought into God’s presence (veil no longer needed) and that the death of Christ also resulted in the tabernacle veil being torn in half. The bronze altar was for continual sacrifices required of the Israelites by God and pointed to the ultimate sacrifice through Christ. The basin in the tabernacle was also used by priests to wash themselves clean before being in God’s presence. If this was not done before going into the Holy Place, they would die. In each item of the tabernacle we can see either God’s holiness or illustration of Christ.

The kids also had an opportunity to reconstruct the tabernacle during Sunday School. This activity helped emphasize how it was God who wanted to be with Israel and who gave specific instructions on how the tabernacle was to be built. My hope is that the Sonlight kids would be able to see how God wants to have a relationship with man despite our sinfulness and that the purpose of Christ’s death would be more clearly seen through the tabernacle lessons.