by Josh Liu

What is friendship? If you were asked, “What does the Bible say about friendship?” would you be able to answer? Do Christian friendships differ from non-Christian friendships? These questions are only a few of the many questions that demonstrate how significant the topic of friendship is. No man is an island; every person, to a degree, will be confronted with having to interact with or relate to another person. Friendship is particularly a significant issue among children and youth. Perhaps you have heard the old axioms, “One apple spoils the bunch,” or, “If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?” The first phrase reveals the concern of bad peer influence, while the question reveals a struggle for parent authority or personal responsibility (over and against peer relationships). Perhaps, while growing up, you wanted answers for the following questions:

• Can my best friend be a nonbeliever?
• Can my best friend be from the opposite gender?
• How do I make friends?
• Why did my friend leave me?
• What do you do if there’s a fall-out with one friend in a group?
• What do you do if friends begin liking each other?
• Do I have to be friends with everyone?

At this past Lumos youth winter retreat, we spent four days at Big Bear Lake Christian Conference Center (from January 1-4), and studied what God’s Word taught on friendship. It was a blessed time of fellowship, games, learning, playing in the snow, and discussion!

During the first session, Jon Yang from LBCLA preached on friendship with God from John 15:5-17.

As James 4:4 says, “You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” Those who refuse to submit to God in faith and obedience are actually in submission to the world (cf. Eph. 2:1-10; Rom. 6:17-18). To not have a relationship with God is to have a relationship with the world. If you are not reconciled with God, you remain under His wrath for your unrighteousness. There is no intimate, peaceful relationship there. However, through Christ’s death on behalf of the repentant sinner and resurrection from the dead, He gives the gift of a reconciled relationship to God, to be His friend. Jon gave four fundamentals for a friendship with God: (1) It is only possible because Christ laid down His life (vv. 12-13); (2) It is characterized by a loving and trusting obedience (v. 14); (3) It is characterized by different relationship (v. 15); And (4) it is characterized by love for the redeemed (v. 17).

In the second session, Cesar Vigil-Ruiz preached on how the Tri-unity within the Godhead impacts friendship.

The Trinity is a nonnegotiable distinctive of Christianity, which requires our utmost attention. The unity and relationship within the Godhead is absolutely transcendent. Thus, this section does not conclude that the Trinity serves as a model of friendship. Rather, as we pursue to love God and love people, our knowledge and worship of God will overflow into our love and service of one another. Cesar gave three applications for the pursuit of a biblical friendship: (1) Learn from the wise, caring, and goodness of the God the Father’s exercise of authority (Eph. 1:3-12); (2) Learn from God the Son’s submission to His Father done in joyful love (John 8:23, 28-32); And (3) learn from the behind-the-scenes character of God the Spirit.

Later, we divided between the boys and girls and had separate breakout sessions.

In the third session, I preached on the distinctives of a biblical friendship.

What is the difference between a worldly friendship and a biblical friendship? Is the basis of your friendship with someone formed around common interests (e.g. sports, music, hobbies), circumstances (e.g. event, project, trial), or some other commonality (e.g. nationality, culture)? The same things drive even friendships of unbelievers. If your friendship with a person is not founded upon and driven by Christ, you may be guilty of a worldly friendship. Here were tentative general definitions I provided: A worldly friendship is a relationship that serves a personal need/desire or expectation; A biblical friendship is a relationship that gives opportunity to live as a witness of and for God’s glory. I gave three distinctives of a biblical friendship. First, the foundation of a biblical friendship is Christ. This is the most important distinctive, which has been mentioned above. Christ is the bond between persons. Through Him, there is true commonality (or unity, intimacy, fellowship, relationship): common experience (of conviction and salvation), common victory, common authority, common pursuit or direction, common goal, common conduct, common family, common desires, and common sacrifice and suffering. A second distinctive is that, because of who Christ is and what He has done, all believers are called to friend others–to love and serve enemies and neighbors (cf. Matt. 5:47), to be witness of Christ to them (cf. Acts 1:8; Matt. 25:31-40). Third, since Christ is the bond between persons and the example of pursuing all others, believers share real unity and lasting intimacy. Friends come and go, but the fellowship of believers goes beyond time and circumstances.

Lastly, for the fourth session, I preached on friendship between boys and girls.

Sin has twisted relationships. There is a lot of confusion and inappropriate “friending” between men and women. First, I provided a five reasons why men and women ought to be friends (living a witness of and for God’s glory toward one another): (1) God created men and women in His image; (2) Relationships between men and women are included in the body of Christ; (3) Men and women have the same biblical commands (e.g. one another commands); (4) Men and women experience temptations, trials, and suffering; And (5) men and women have the same need–Christ and His Word. Next, I provided six ways to pursue an appropriate friendship with the opposite gender: (1) View each other as a precious sibling; (2) Live with above reproach wisdom; (3) Understand and honor other relationships–parents and spouse; (4) Fulfill biblical men’s and women’s roles; (5) Confront personal sin and temptation; And (5) devote to “one anothering” wisely.

Through this update and summary, my hope is that you are encouraged by what is going on in the youth ministry, exhorted to love God and others more, and challenged to examine your life and heart.

Will you pursue friendships as opportunities to live as a witness of and for the glory of God?

by Josh Liu

“I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.” (2 Timothy 4:1-2)

In my experience and observations, many church ministries, most often youth ministries, seem to be solicited with “new” and “improved” ministry models, entertainment activities, youth development insights, and/or suggestions of how to deepen connection or community with youth. These are not intrinsically evil or wrong, but they often become the driving force of ministry, by which everything else is subjected to. Granted, we ought to continually examine our ministries. Yet the standard by which we examine our ministries is Scripture–the inspired, inerrant, totally sufficient Word of God (cf. 2 Tim. 3:15-17; 2 Peter 1:3, 16-21). God has not left it to man to decide how the goals of the church be carried out (cf. 1 Thess. 2:3-4; Titus 2:1).

According to Scripture, a priority of the Church is to glorify God by making disciples of Christ by going, baptizing, and teaching the whole counsel of God’s Word (Matt. 28:18-20; cf. Acts 14:21-23). In the spirit of that mission, Lumos youth ministry exists to glorify God in the lives of youth adults in the San Diego community by partnering with parents in the discipleship of their children, which is carried out through preaching and teaching God’s Word, and fellowship with and mentoring by older godly men and women. We do not attempt to mask Bible studies with entertaining activities, sentimental or emotion-inducing singing or setup, or prolific opportunities to get youth to “just do something” in the church. The focal point of Lumos is the preaching, teaching, and counseling through God’s Word.

Thus, this year’s Friday night youth Bible studies will be going through the Book of Romans expositionally (verse by verse). We also have been using the Navigator’s Topical Memory System list of verses with a desire to make Scripture memorization a vital spiritual discipline. Some of those verses are examples of prooftexting (interpreting and applying a verse without regard to its context and author’s intended meaning). As we memorize a verse each week, we study them in their respective context. During Sunday school hour on Sundays, we will be going through hermeneutics training and topical series (e.g. Old Testament/New Testament survey, Jesus’ parables). As you can see, we seek to preach the Word; to reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. Lumos is not defined by its activities, perceived comfort of “community,” praise band, appeasement of parents, and so on. We truly believe Scripture, that God works through His Word and the proclamation of His gospel (cf. Is. 55:11; Mark 4:14-20, 26-29; Rom. 1:16-17; 10:14-16; 2 Tim. 3:15), and that He receives most glory through the ministry His Word (cf. 1 Pet. 4:11).

Church, we encourage you to actively participate in the ministry of prayer and God’s Word toward one another, including the youth in our churches.

by Josh Liu

Since the summer began, the Lumos youth ministry has been taking a break from its usual Friday night Bible studies to join the combined Wednesday night Bible studies with the collegians and singles. The summer schedule allows a bit of a break for staffers to recuperate and to manage church summer activities (e.g. mission trips, park days, youth retreat). During the school year, many of the students are overwhelmingly busy and often unavailable; during the summer, many of the students become freer. To take advantage of this time, the youth staff have been hosting various activities. We have had birthday surprises, sleepovers, and pre-Bible study activities. During those pre-Bible study activities, we have gone hiking, worked on a scrapbook, played board games, and even made plastic yarn from used plastic shopping bags! It has been great getting to spend more time together!

As the summer draws to an end, we officially welcomed two new youth to Lumos as they moved up from the Sonlight elementary ministry: Matthew and Megan. I have personally known and served Matthew and Megan through the children’s ministry. It is quite exciting to see them grow and enter this next stage of life. I know that they have long awaited the moment they could join Lumos. To welcome them, some of the youth planned a welcome party. By tradition, the new youth were greeted with a human tunnel to run through–there was a lot of cheering and excitement! We began with lunch, which Janet helped prepare. After lunch, the youth sang a song that Jessie rewrote lyrics for. Then, Zach led a time of games (the “couch game”). It was encouraging seeing the youth care for and serve others. It was also fun hearing them share their own experiences when first joining Lumos and other memorable events during lunch.

We ended with a brief devotional. During the devotional, I asked the youth what the M.V.P. of Lighthouse was–they knew each part and their respective Scripture references! I explained the purpose and goals of Lumos, that we are seeking to make disciples of Christ through the vehicle of the local church because we love God and love people, all of which is appropriated to the unique circumstances and experiences of youth age students. As with the other affinity groups and ministries, Lumos is not independent of the local church. It is merely a means of furthering the purposes of the local church as set forth in Scripture. Our hope is that the youth see Lighthouse as their church family. Also, in challenging the youth to consider whether or not they are part of the family of God, we looked at Matthew 5:1-16. I briefly reviewed the characteristics of those who belong to the Kingdom of God (vv. 1-12), and the activity or purpose of those who belong to the Kingdom of God (vv. 13-16). I reminded them that Lumos (which means “light” in Latin) is here to challenge those who profess Christ as his or her Lord and Savior to be a light representing Christ the King to others–family, friends, other youth, classmates, and so on. We also communicated that we the staff are committed to serving, encouraging, and walking this life with them. Might I encourage you, church, to do the same, especially with those who are growing up in our church family.

by Kristen Lim

‘Tis the season of graduations galore! Recently our youth group had a Grad Night to celebrate with two 8th graders as they finished middle school. It is an exciting time of completing a stage of life and moving on to new terrain, but also extremely daunting knowing that growing older means making decisions that can greatly affect one’s future. There is also the pressure of pursing success and greatness in this life, and already the youth face this challenge at school as they work hard in getting good grades and involving themselves in extra-curricular activities.

My small group just finished a study on the topic of success and what it truly means to be successful in God’s eyes. We studied multiple passages from the Bible to understand what God has to say about this pertinent topic. Since God is the author of life, He defines what is true success and how to live a fruitful life that is not wasted. The verse that we used as the starting point in this study was 2 Corinthians 5:9 which says, “So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please Him.” If it ought to be our desire to please God, then the next hurdle is to figure out what pleases Him. Here is a sampling of what we discovered:

1. The Picture of Success: Faithfulness

In Jesus’ Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14-30), He describes how God rewards those who are faithful in their given task. The servants all start with different amounts of money and are expected to be industrious with their share. The master repeats the same commendation to the hard-working servants, “Well done, good and faithful servant…” because they all put in effort to gain a profit with the provided money, while the lazy servant chose not to honor his master. Thus, success (hearing “well done” from God) is measured by the degree of effort.

2. The Pressure of Success: Pride

When we experience the fruit of our labor, there is a tendency to take pride in ourselves rather than attribute the glory to the provider of that success. In the book of Proverbs, God uses very strong language to communicate His utter disdain for the proud. For example, Proverbs 8:13 reads, “The fear of the LORD is to hate evil; pride and arrogance and the evil way and the perverted mouth, I hate,” also Proverbs 16:5 says, “Everyone who is proud in heart is an abomination to the LORD; assuredly, he will not be unpunished,” and finally Proverbs 16:18 plainly states, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling.” There are many ways for pride to be manifested in one’s life, but especially in the midst of good circumstances such as growth in our spiritual walks or even material prosperity, our heart’s focus needs to be directed to the giver of those blessings, knowing that in and of ourselves we can do nothing apart from God’s grace.

3. The Passion of Success: Love

The passion of success is the same as the passion statement of Lighthouse: to love God and people. Love ought to permeate every aspect of our lives as we serve in various ministries, meet up with people, and try to live according to God’s word. In 1 Corinthians 13 it is eye-opening to know that it is possible to appear holy, do lots of good deeds, and even be esteemed by others as being a faithful, successful servant of the Lord, but if you don’t have love then you are nothing. God sees our heart’s intentions and wants His church to be characterized by love for Him and for people in everything that we do.

Throughout Scripture God reveals what truly pleases Him and what He hates. It is clear that we need to fight hard to not let worldly ideas of success infiltrate our minds, and instead allow God’s truth to be the authority in how we define and pursue success. God doesn’t want us to live aimlessly with no ambition or goals; rather Christians have the greatest and noblest purpose in life: to bring glory to our glorious God and please Him in all that we do. So whether it is being a student, working a 9-5 job, or taking care of the kids at home, it should be our “aim to please Him” and hear from God, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” And that is a truly successful person.

by Josh Liu

Without providing an exhaustive treatise on the subject, I would suggest that the use of affinity groups could be an appropriate and effective means of discipleship in the local church. At Lighthouse Bible Church San Diego, our general affinity groups include the Children’s Ministry (infants to elementary age children), Lumos (youth), College Life (undergraduate students), Single Life (post-undergraduates), and Grace Life (married couples and families). These affinity groups are set up to better minister to the issues and experiences unique to each stage of life. Each group has its own staff, schedule of events, goals, and so on. While continually improving, I believe that Lighthouse does a great job in affinity ministries without usurping the unity, identity, and centrality of the local church body. Having said all this, I wish to encourage you to pursue the one another commands with those beyond your personal affinity group.

Last December, I wrote a brief article, entitled “One Another-ring,” reflecting on Cesar’s preaching of 1 John 2:10 and the test of love. In it, I exhorted you to actively love one another, and therefore prove to be Christ’s disciple. Now, I encourage you to carry out the one another commands with those outside of your regular affinity group, with those perhaps less convenient, less familiar with, less physically in common with. My hope is that you do not put up a division between affinity groups, which bars you from fellowshipping with, serving, and loving others consistently and frequently outside your affinity group. May you seek to minister the gospel of Christ to the whole church.

As an example, a married couple–from Grace Life–hosted a Valentine’s Day hangout for the youth ministry early February. They opened up their apartment, provided dinner, and hosted some games with the youth. Although this couple has established friendships with the youth before, it was still a fun time spending an evening together and developing friendships. Invest into each other’s lives; share the gospel; encourage one another with the truth and promises of Scripture; be creative!

by Kristen Lim

“Do you want build a snowman?” sang the youth (a song from the animated movie, Frozen) as we drove up to Big Bear for our joint winter retreat with the LBCLA youth group. Earlier this month the Lumos youth ministry had the opportunity to spend a weekend away from home to grow in their walks with God as well as build relationships with one other. The retreat was filled with inner-tubing, snowboarding/skiing, silly games, late-night snacks, and of course digging deeper into God’s word.

The theme of the retreat was “Blessed” coming from Matthew 5:1-12. Before diving into this passage, Josh did a great job of setting the groundwork that salvation is by grace alone, but it never comes alone because God will transform the heart of one who is truly saved and produce fruit of Christ-likeness. So rather than just reading this description of a blessed person and trying to live up to these standards, we were challenged to examine our lives and honestly ask ourselves if we are in the kingdom of God to begin with. Are we “poor in spirit,” recognizing that we offer nothing good before a holy God but only dirty rags of sin? In Christ alone, by faith alone can one be redeemed from the bondage of sin and have a regenerate heart that in turn loves God and desires to please Him. That has to be the starting point, because if not, then that person is not blessed and the passage is not applicable to them.

As we embarked on this study of the beatitudes, we found out that the very word “blessed” needed clarification because much of our perception of happiness and joy have been influenced by the world. What does the world define happiness to be? Money, success, admiration, popularity, comfort, no trials, and basically summed up by “life is all about you.” The world tells you to live your best life now and to do whatever makes you happy; God is nowhere to be seen. The Bible speaks clearly that those who are redeemed are not promised a “happy” life, but rather persecution, trials, rejection, loneliness, and suffering. If you knew that you wouldn’t experience any happiness and instead have immense pain in this life, would you still follow Christ? Would you rather have Christ than anything this world may offer? How can one be blessed and rejoice with such a circumstantially grim life?

These heart-probing questions geared us to dive in to the beatitudes and see that true joy can only come from knowing God. Those that choose to reject God and live in rebellion to the Creator and true King will eventually face the just sentence of God’s wrath. But in contrast, the children of God can rejoice because God has shown us unfathomable mercy and love through Christ, and we look forward to being with our Savior for eternity without the weight of sin. We are blessed because we are part of the kingdom of God, we are comforted knowing that one day sin will be gone, we will inherit the earth when Christ returns, we will be satisfied, we will be shown God’s mercy, we will see God, we will be called sons of God, and our reward is great in Heaven.

But it is the reality that seeing life through God’s eyes is difficult to maintain in the midst of the constant bombardment of worldly ideas and selfishness wanting to take over. That’s why these retreat messages were so timely in reminding us of the great hope we have in Christ alone and that He is the greatest treasure worth giving up everything for. At the very end of the last session, Josh showed us an animation made for the song “All I Have Is Christ.” Honestly, this is a difficult song to sing because I can’t sing it half-heartedly. Do I really believe the words that I’m singing? Is all I really have Christ? Or am I clinging tightly to selfish desires, my plans, my glory, my way? The retreat messages provided much to chew on and helped all of us to refocus our hearts to seeking God’s will.

Not only was this retreat valuable for the immersion into God’s word, but it helped the youth cultivate deeper friendships with one another, and as a staff we got to know the youth better outside of the structured Bible study and small group times. I’m challenged to help the youth (and including myself) see that Christ is not just a sentiment to be tossed around on Sundays or while reading the Bible and praying, but He calls us to worship Him in every moment of our lives. The retreat sessions all of a sudden come alive when faced with a decision whether to give in to the world’s lies of happiness found in selfish pursuits, or truly believe that God’s ways are far superior and offer true joy and blessings. Being together for four days brought ample opportunities to practice applying the retreat messages in the context of relationships. The choice to be upset when others are having more fun than I am, or to rejoice with those who rejoice. The choice to wallow in anger when someone wrongs me, or to forgive and seek to mend that damaged fellowship because of the forgiveness that I have been shown in Christ. The choice to be lazy and wait to be served, or to take the initiative to look out for others’ needs and be a servant. These smattering of instances are only skimming the surface of the plethora of choices we have each day to either choose my way or God’s way.

The seemingly mundane moments of life are not so mundane anymore if viewed as a chance to become more like Christ and please God by following His will. This is not to say that a Christian will be perfect, but the longing for righteousness and detestation of sin ought to characterize a believer. God is so gracious to not leave us on our own to fulfill this high-calling of obedience to Him. His mercies are new every morning to produce in us a changed life as we allow His Word to take root in our hearts and renew our minds. It is a constant battle to fight against the flesh and the never-ending influences of what the world thinks is true joy, but God promises to be faithful to complete the work that He has started in a believer’s life, so we are strengthened to persevere in the race fixing our eyes on Christ, our treasure and reward. Truly, blessed is the one who delights in the law of the Lord and pursues to live righteously for God’s glory (Psalm 1).

Thank you to those who prayed for the retreat or supported us financially. We had an awesome time! =) Please pray that the youth ministry would be filled with young men and women who genuinely love God and live passionately to make God big!