Biblical Friendship #2: To Be a Friend with God

by Jonathan Yang

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.”
(John 15:12-15)

Let us consider this scene in John 15. The disciples recovered from a brief moment of surprise as Christ addressed them as his “friends.” While others viewed the Son of God as a means for food, healing, or earthly glory, Jesus’ disciples recognized Him for who He was — their Teacher, Lord and Master, the Holy One of God — and they submitted to Him as His disciples.

Christ made it clear to them and to those that are His disciples today, that even though He is high above them as the rightful object of their worship and obedience, He is near to them. With loving affection, He called them His friends: those that He desired fellowship with, whom He loved, cared for, and held closely to Himself.

This was near the very end of Jesus’ earthly ministry before He was to be betrayed and crucified. After compassionately washing His disciples’ feet, He gathered them for their last supper for Passover as Judas Iscariot left to betray Jesus. Now Jesus began to give His disciples His last and final exhortations. His heart weighed heavily knowing that He would soon depart from them to face the weight of the righteous, crushing wrath of God in place of sinners. With this, the Lord lovingly instructed His disciples of the friendship He extended to them. This same friendship with the Lord is given to His disciples today.

As we consider Christ’s parting instructions in John 15:12-15, we will learn four lessons on friendship with God. We will see that God has clearly laid out the terms and means of His divine friendship with His followers.

1. Friendship with God is characterized by a love for the redeemed (vv. 12, 17)

Jesus begins and ends His instruction about divine friendship with a command that believers must love one another as He has loved them. Christ had called His disciples, patiently taught them, and loved them to the end as He stooped down to wash their feet and would soon lay down His life for them. Christ then commanded them (those who are called friends of God) to love one another.

Christ gave us in Himself the standard and example for how we are to love each other, and we demonstrate that we really understand His love when we live it out with each other. Christ’s love was patient and persevering towards unworthy, once-rebellious objects. He has given those He calls friends the opportunity and command to love others in the same way.

It is easy to profess and declare our love for God, but the fruit of this knowledge is seen in how we genuinely care for and extend His love to brothers and sisters God has placed among us in the local church. Jesus’ disciples were an uncanny, ragtag collection of tax collectors, zealots, fisherman, and the like that would have been at each other’s throats in any other context. Similarly, the church consists of a diversity of personalities and characters who would probably have nothing to do with each other apart from the deeper common love and bond they share in Christ. It is through this love that a watching world recognizes that we are His disciples (cf. John 13:34-35). Friendship with God must be characterized by a love for the redeemed.

2. Friendship with God is possible because Christ laid down his life (vv. 12-13)

Our friendship with an absolutely holy God is only possible because Christ laid down His life. Apart from Him, we are only the target of God’s wrath. Far from friendship with Him, we are enemies that loved what He hated and hated what He loved. We exchanged His loving rule to worship created things and ourselves, and thus rightfully deserve condemnation from an uncompromisingly holy God (cf. Rom. 1:18ff, 6:23).

However, Christ lived the life that we could never live (Heb. 4:15) and died the death that we deserve to die, bearing God’s wrath and justice in the place of those that would trust in Him (2 Cor. 5:21). What is incredible is that in the gospel, in Christ, God not only forgives us of our sin and rebellion against Him, but also brings us into relationship with Him as His children (1 John 3:1). The sins of those who trust in Christ are covered by His righteousness, and believers are not only tolerated by God but also loved deeply by Him.

In verse 13, we see that Jesus speaks of the demonstration and provision of His love for His disciples. This love is sacrificial. We see a picture of this kind of love in a mother’s sacrificial love, as she counts her time and energy as currency well spent for the sake of her children; or, a father working long days and late nights to feed and support his family. Sacrificial love is to care for others when it is inconvenient or comes at a personal cost.

Jesus explained that the greatest love is expressed when someone lays down his life for his friends. He not only gives up convenience, comfort, and cost, but his very life for their sake. Jesus demonstrated this greatest expression of love by sacrificially dying on the cross for sinners. Those whom He calls friends are those whom He loves and lays down His life for.

In calling them “friends,” Christ was not just describing His disciples as casual acquaintances but those whom He cared for and held closely. What is astonishing about Christ’s demonstration of love and gift of friendship is that it is extended to those who were once enemies, who rebelled against, hated, and opposed Him. Jesus exhibited the highest degree of love and made friendship with God possible to undeserving rebels by sacrificing His own life for them.

3. Friendship with God manifests obedience with love and trust (v. 14)

In verse 14, Jesus defines friendship in terms of obedience. His crystal clear definition of those who are His friends is that they obey His commands. Those who love and trust God will act on His words. Out of love and worship for who He is, friends of God love what He loves and seek to hate what He hates. We strive to do this because we know that He is truly good and that His commands are for our good. Our obedience to God is not driven by a desire to earn His love or to get out of punishment, but a response to God’s love toward undeserving sinners (1 John 4:9-10).

We see examples of this loving, trusting obedience throughout Scripture. Abraham, called a friend of God (2 Chron. 20:7, Isaiah 41:8), believed in God’s promises to him (Rom. 4:1). In trust and obedience, he went out of his native country away from his relatives and set forth for the land of Canaan. Abraham’s love for and trust in God showed in his willingness to obey God (Gen. 18:17).

Christ Himself obeyed the Father because He loved the Father and sought His glory. Christ was loved by the Father, and He demonstrated His relationship of love as He obeyed and depended on the Father throughout His earthly ministry (John 15:10-11). Believers follow Christ’s example of obedience to God, not so that He will love us, but because we are loved by Him. In 1 John 2:3-6, the Apostle John explains to his readers that while genuine believers have been forgiven of sin and reconciled to God, they are not sinless. Still, they are characterized as those who strive to obey God because they love Him.

Do you view obedience to God as an opportunity to express your love for Him because He loved you first? Is obedience an act of joy because of a relationship of love, or is it a burden? Jesus clearly defines the terms of friendship with God: those who are His friends obey God because they love and trust Him.

4. Friendship with God is characterized by a different relationship (v. 15)

Historically, a servant (literally “slave”) did not have a close relationship with his master. He was told what to do and expected to do it without questioning or understanding His master’s intentions. A slave has to perform his task because he has no other choice. Conversely, a friend has a close relationship, mutual esteem, and love for the other person. The disciples were not lowly slaves who did not understand what the master was doing; but they were friends of God who responded to a reconciled relationship with the Father in love, obedience, and joy. We understand that the God we serve and live for is sovereign and good. He loves us, and we consider it a privilege to live for His glory and to accomplish His will.

In order to glorify God, we ought to make every effort to understand and apply what Christ has taught us about the Father and His will. Even in human friendships, people seek to know their friends better and do things to please them. If you are a friend of God then your relationship with him is no longer as a servant but a friend who knows and loves the Father.

Do we have this attitude towards the God who made us, saved us, and extended the opportunity of friendship to us? Do you seek to grow in your understanding of God and His will? Friendship with God is characterized by a different relationship–not merely a slave without understanding but a friend who knows and loves Him.

We see examples of giants of the faith in Scripture like Enoch, Abraham, Joshua, and King David that walked closely with God. They were friends of an almighty, righteous, and holy God, and we wonder how it is that they were able to have such an intimate relationship with their divine Creator. These people are much more like us than we may think, and through Jesus’ loving instruction we see how this divine and intimate relationship is extended to us today. Those that are friends of God love the redeemed. This friendship is possible only because Christ demonstrated and provided love as He laid down His life. It is characterized by an obedience to God that loves and trusts in Him, and by a different relationship as those who know who He is, His will, and seek to know Him more.

God is neither a “best friend” to play ball or watch movies with, nor a distant Lord who watches and rules from afar. While He is high above us and worthy of reverence and praise, He is near to us and with us. He has called us friends.

Tomorrow, Cesar Vigil-Ruiz explores implications that can be drawn from the doctrine and manifestations of the Triune Godhead. Spoiler alert: he doesn’t conclude that the Trinitarian relationship between God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit is meant to be a model for friendship. Rather, we seek to become like Christ, studying the examples that He has truly provided (cf. John 13:15; 1 Pet. 2:21; Phil. 2:5; 1 Tim. 1:16), to glorify and worship God more.