by Pastor Patrick Cho
Being a parent of a three-year-old girl is one of the greatest joys of my life. At one point, I only wanted to have boys, but now I would be perfectly content only having girls. There is something irreplaceably sweet about the father/daughter relationship and I cherish it and praise God that I can enjoy it as a dad.
As sweet as having a daughter is, it still is obviously not always easy. At three, our little girl has developed quite a personality and oftentimes battles with Mom and Dad over who is in charge. She admits her dependence on us less, and insists on doing things on her own more. Still, she is a bit clumsy so whenever she wants to do things on her own, it results in more and more messes. At times she gets herself into trouble because she tries things that are too big for her, but there are also times when she is blatantly rebellious and disobedient.
One time, she insisted on using a “big girl” cup because she did not want to drink her milk from a straw. Reluctantly I agreed and instructed her to be very careful because she could spill the milk if she tipped the cup too far. And as most parents who have been in this situation have discovered, that spilled milk was inevitable.
I have heard that patience is a virtue. I have also heard that one should not pray for patience because God will only make you wait for it. It is certainly vastly more important to see what the Bible says about patience, and it is important always to remember and turn to what the Bible says instead of human wisdom. Scripture teaches that patience is a fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22), and so as a believer it should be a mark of who I am. Instead of putting on a sinful attitude, I am called to put on patience amongst other things (Col. 3:12). Paul told Timothy to preach the Word with patience, so I know when I teach my little girl the truths of Scripture it will likewise require patience (cf. 2 Tim. 4:2).
When you study patience in Scripture, you come to realize that God shows us incredible patience as sinners. Speaking out against condemning the sins of others, Paul writes in Romans 2:4, “Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?” The Apostle refers to himself as the foremost of all sinners, but explains that this was so that Jesus could demonstrate His perfect patience to him as an example (1 Tim. 1:15-16). The fact is when I mess up, God is patient with me. He was patient in enduring all my wickedness for the first twenty something years of my unbelieving life, and He continues to show His perfect patience with me even now as a believer.
This really helps to put things into perspective when I struggle to be patient with Eden. She is only three and has a sweet demeanor and oftentimes loves to make Papa happy. During the times when it is more difficult and her sinful heart shows itself, I can remember to be patient as God has been patient to me. I have been shown tremendous patience, so I should not raise my daughter as if I had not been shown any. Of course it is easier to know this in principle than to put it into practice, but being reminded again and again of the principle is part of the growing process that hopefully will lead to greater faithfulness in the practice.