by Chris Tang

For many people this year, Valentine’s Day was a very painful day, reminding them of past relational failures and bringing to surface countless thoughts of unhappiness, inadequacy, and loneliness. Thoughts like, “I would be perfectly happy, if only…

• If only a certain person noticed me.
• If only I had a girlfriend or boyfriend.
• If only I had done things differently.
• If only we were still together.
• If only I was married by now.
• If only my spouse tried harder this year.
• If only I had someone to love.

If only then I could be happy. God is powerful. He could make it happen! Why not? Maybe next year…”

Others experienced a lot of happiness, whether it was in the form of chocolate and flowers from a boyfriend, having a special dinner with someone, or having time away from the kids with the spouse. Being treated in a special way on a special day fulfills a desire in us to know that somebody cares. The gifts aren’t very important, except they mean something: I am valuable. Somebody loves me.

February 13th happened to fall on the day of one of our Single Life Bible studies. Pastor Patrick took a break from our study of Colossians and took this opportunity to speak on love from Matthew 22:37-40, where Jesus discusses the two greatest commandments. I was very thankful for this message, especially since it looked to God’s word to define what love is. After all, God is love (1 John 4:7-8), so He is the foremost authority on love, and He is the one who defines what it is. Through His word we can know the true love which comes only from God (Romans 10:17). It is only through a genuine, saving knowledge of God that we can be equipped to love people. As Peter writes, “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence” (2 Peter 1:3). If Scripture was not sufficient to teach everything about love, we would be hopelessly struggling in the futility of human wisdom to figure out what love is. Thankfully, God shows us what it means, and teaches us how to love in every situation, whether in friendship, dating, marriage, parenthood, when it is easy and when it is hard.

The first part of Pastor Patrick’s message was spent on how we are to obey the greatest commandment: to love God. If there is any question as to why the teaching at Lighthouse places such a great emphasis on doctrine, it is because we desire everyone to be true worshipers of God, who worship God in truth (John 4:23). How to love God is the single fundamental question which defines everything we do as Christians, including how we love others, so this was a very important point. Pastor Patrick started in the place where all behavior begins: in the heart. Philippians 4:8 makes it clear that even the very smallest of our thoughts are to be pleasing to God, for it is in the heart that sin is conceived (Mark 7:21-23, James 1:14-15) . This means that loving God does not involve a list of external behaviors, of things to do or to not do. Jesus himself warns against the dangers of this kind of moralism in Matthew 12:43-45. Without God as Lord, attempts to put one’s own heart “in order” can only make things worse. It’s scary to think that our efforts at self-improvement could make us more abhorrent in the eyes of God. Instead we must first be committed in our hearts to God, clothed in the righteousness of Christ, and only then can we begin to do anything good. Without salvation, all of our “good” deeds are like polluted garments before God (Isaiah 64:6). On the other hand, our new life after repentance should bring about a corresponding transformation in the way we think (Romans 12:2). This was a good reminder for me to examine my own “thought life” (not a phrase that thrills me) and examine what I dwell on.

• Are these thoughts pleasing to God, or do they reveal idols in my heart?
• Am I stressed at work out of fear of my boss?
• Is my enjoyment of fellowship due to a desire to be accepted, or thankfulness to God for giving me a body of like-minded believers?
• What is the real reason that I am happy about that promotion?
• Should I be spending so much time reading about new gadgets?
• What am I excited to talk about?
• What fills my mind each hour of the day?

That is what I love, and it is depressingly rare that it is God.

If you read the first two paragraphs of this article again, you’ll notice how selfish and man-centered each of those scenarios is. Even a “good” Valentine’s Day can reveal the selfishness and idolatry in our hearts. For those who know God it is a comforting truth that His love has been poured out abundantly upon us in spite of our depravity (Romans 5:5, 8). Some days it may not feel like it, but truly the love of God is better than any Valentine’s Day celebration, either real or hoped for. It is more precious than life itself (Psalm 63:3). It is my sincere hope that we would all strive and fight to grow in our love for God. I barely scratched the surface of Pastor Patrick’s message, so if you have any questions about how these Biblical truths might apply to your existing relationship with God or with people, there are plenty of people at Lighthouse who would love to answer your questions. Thank God for His gracious love for us, and thank you Pastor Patrick for your very timely reminder of what true love is.