by Pastor Patrick Cho

For the past several years, Grace Life has maintained more or less a singular focus: to help cultivate a spiritual environment in the home. We have looked to equip men to be greater spiritual leaders as husbands and fathers. We have sought to provide instruction to married couples and parents to effectively live out their God-ordained roles to His glory.

Part of the reason is the unfortunate trend in the church whereby families almost entirely depend upon the church for their spiritual formation, and separate the spiritual aspect of their lives from pretty much everything else. It’s as if there are spiritual concerns and “everything else” concerns. As you consider the teaching of Scripture though, what we believe in faith should have an effect on everything else in our lives. If there is little to no spiritual “flavor” to the way things are in your home, then something is definitely wrong. Your spouse and your children ought to see that your commitment to Christ involves more than just praying before meals.

Here are some practical ways to help cultivate a spiritual environment in your home. If these are things you are already practicing, then I would encourage you to continue in them and even think through how to increase the bond between Christ and your home. But if this is an area that you feel you are struggling in, hopefully these practical tips can be of use to you.

1. Pray as a Family, Sing as a Family, Read as a Family. The home should be a worshipful place. While it is important to grow as an individual Christian through Bible intake and personal prayer, it is also important to put faith on display in the home. It is instructive, helpful, and encouraging for your spouse and children to see you in the Word and in prayer. Expression of worship through music is another way to put that faith on display, whether listening to Christian music or singing songs together as a family.
2. Demonstrate Faith to Your Guests. Every time we travel abroad for a summer missions trip, one of the things that stands out to me is how focused the homes are on the Lord. When we are invited in as guests, the hosts talk to us about spiritual things, encourage us with spiritual words, and pray with us. One of my favorite things to do in Argentina is to sit around with a small group and sing songs together, enjoying each other’s company and lifting up praise to the Lord. When someone comes into your home, you should remember that you are given a wonderful opportunity for ministry and discipleship. What you choose to talk about and how you spend that time can be a choice of worship.
3. Take Your Wife on Regular Meaningful Dates. There are some couples who routinely talk about spiritual things. There are husbands and wives that regularly enjoy meaningful conversations and take time to pray for one another’s needs. I understand when your relationship has this kind of strength that you argue that date nights are not necessary. But truthfully, many homes don’t possess these kinds of quality relationships. This is why I feel like a purposeful and regularly scheduled date night is helpful. It gives you a chance to talk about spiritual things and even provides an occasion to share prayer needs and to pray with one another. Of course this could just be a portion of the date. It’s always good to have fun doing other things you enjoy as well!
4. Take Advantage of Ordinary Moments. One of my favorite things to do is to go on little walks with my kids. Sometimes it is towards the end of a meal while we wait for other family members to finish up their food. Sometimes it’s just to take a break from whatever we are doing in the house and to get some fresh air. During these walks, I like to talk to the kids about God’s creation and all the wonderful things He has made. I even sometimes try to transition that talk to the gospel so that they understand how it’s all connected. Of course, we could just enjoy a walk together without really talking about anything, but I have found that a lot of times the more impactful conversations I have with my kids are just from taking ordinary events and connecting them to spiritual truths.
5. Discipline Your Children to Instruct. Children are going to disobey. It’s built into the fiber of their being. As such, it is going to be necessary to correct them and discipline them. Every time you talk to your child about disobedient behavior is an opportunity for spiritual instruction. I understand that circumstances sometimes dictate that you don’t have a lot of time for a long, meaningful conversation, but you can always come back to it. This is why it is so vitally important to maintain a right heart during these encounters and to guard against anger. It’s practical impossible to segue to the gospel after blowing up at your child because of their behavior.
6. Teach Your Children Practical Christianity. This is similar to point #4, but the practice is a bit more deliberate. Instead of waiting for opportune moments to teach a spiritual lesson, plan to take time to instruct your children in practical Christianity. It might involve a lesson on wise handling of money and principles of giving. It might be about discipline of time. It might be about serving others. Whatever the lesson, teach your children that Christianity is not only about believing certain things or going to church on Sundays. Help them to see how faith in Christ permeates life and affects all of life.

However you seek to cultivate a spiritual environment in your home, really the goal is to make God an ordinary and normal part of your life. Do your children see that you desire to live for the glory of God? Does your spouse? Do your guests? This is the primary reason we assign homework for Grace Life. We understand that sometimes the assignments are fairly basic, but the point is less to provide you as an individual some deep theological instruction and more to get you and your family to talk about what you learn.