by Pastor Patrick Cho

One of the places in Scripture to find a wealth of helpful principles for parenting is the Proverbs. Almost every book on parenting will reference these Scriptures repeatedly because of the wisdom they contain. Besides the plethora of verses that apply to parenting indirectly, several passages address parenting specifically.

Poverty and shame will come to him who neglects discipline, but he who regards reproof will be honored. (Proverbs 13:18)

Once again, the author of Proverbs returns to the theme of discipline. While this passage is not addressing parents or children specifically, its principle is surely applicable. Other proverbs focus on the folly of disregarding discipline. This verse emphasizes the consequences of turning away from it. It is important to note that the idea behind the word discipline is instruction. In this context, it is more than just corrective or punitive. As it relates to parenting, we must remember that the goal of Christian parenting is to implement discipline that is formative. We are not simply after behavioral change. We want to help our children to think with godly wisdom so that it affects their behavior.

To neglect discipline is essentially to have an unteachable heart. The word for neglect is translated from a verb that means “to let go or loose.” This is the same word used in Proverbs 1:25 where the author confronts his son for neglecting all his counsel. When godly wisdom is passed down from one generation to the next, children are warned not to let it slip through their fingers.

Instead, the one who is wise “regards reproof.” They not only hear it, but heed it and keep it. This is not just giving assent to it but also practicing what is taught because you recognize it as sound counsel. It is one thing for my child to do what I say. It is another for them to understand why it is for their good regardless of what their own heart’s desire. No one likes to be reproved or corrected, but a person recognizes it is lifegiving when they understand that it is what they need most in the moment.

It requires humility and teachability to welcome reproof and to heed it. The verse says that the one who regards it will be honored. “Honored” comes from a word that has the idea of heaviness, weightiness, or muchness. The noun form of this word is translated “glory.” There is significant substance to a person who is teachable and he is worth emulating. Parents need to help children understand the wisdom in this. The world promotes this idea that standing for yourself is what gives you substance. The Bible teaches that it actually comes from listening to wise counsel.