by Pastor Patrick Cho
One of the places in Scripture to find a wealth of helpful principles for parenting is the Proverbs. Almost every book on parenting will reference these Scriptures repeatedly because of the wisdom they contain. Besides the plethora of verses that apply to parenting indirectly, several passages address parenting specifically.
In the fear of the LORD there is strong confidence, And his children will have refuge. (Proverbs 14:26)
What are you afraid of? What keeps you up at night? What anxieties disturb the peace in your heart? When we experience this kind of fear, it exposes our lack of trust in the Lord. We think our problems are too big inevitably because we deem our God too small. We don’t trust His Word when it teaches that we can say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper. I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?” (Heb. 13:6). We treat Him as small who has promised, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you” (Heb. 13:5). We distrust that by prayer we have no reason for anxiety and we can have the peace of God guarding and protecting our hearts and minds (Phil. 4:6-7).
The psalmist writes that there is strong confidence in the fear of YHWH. It is ironic, I suppose, that the author states that “strong confidence” comes as a result of “fear.” But this is not a fear of dread like the fear of an untamed beast or horrible calamity. The fear of God is worshipful awe and reverence at His glory and greatness. This is about finding sure confidence in who God is regardless of what we face in life. Because we know Him, we understand that our God is bigger than any trial we may endure. The greater our fear of God, the surer our strong confidence. He is my God and He is my Lord, and if God is for me, who can be against me (cf. Rom. 8:31).
Every believer ought to strive to attain this confidence, which comes only as a result of greater knowledge and deeper relationship with God. This truth serves as an anchor for the soul to keep the heart from being tossed back and forth by its own inclinations and emotions. You can ask yourself, “Do I trust that in God I have no reason for fear? Is He my strong confidence?”
The principle for parenting comes in the second half of this insightful couplet. It says that if a man fears the Lord, his children will have refuge. The strength of my faith as a father serves as a spiritual protection for my children. One specific grace that God sometimes bestows is for a person to be raised in a Christian home with God-fearing parents. Many people reflect on the strong faith of their parents that encouraged them throughout their childhood. Especially in times of trouble, if my faith is unsure, it will have an adverse effect on the faith of my children. But if I maintain strong confidence in God, I can serve as a steadying influence for my children encouraging them likewise to trust in God.
One day, my child’s faith is going to need to be their own. They will walk through their own valleys and experience their own trials. But especially while they are young, I have a responsibility to demonstrate strong confidence in God because in my confidence they will find refuge. This is a helpful principle for parenting that cultivating our own walk with Christ has benefits beyond ourselves. Through our faith in God, our children can be blessed.