For The Flesh Lusteth Against The Spirit…

by Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Galatians 5:17

In every believer’s heart there is a constant struggle between the old nature and the new. The old nature is very active, and loses no opportunity of plying all the weapons of its deadly armoury against newborn grace; while on the other hand, the new nature is ever on the watch to resist and destroy its enemy. Grace within us will employ prayer, and faith, and hope, and love, to cast out the evil; it takes unto it the ‘whole armour of God,’ and wrestles earnestly. These two opposing natures will never cease to struggle so long as we are in this world.

The battle of ‘Christian’ with ‘Apollyon’ lasted three hours, but the battle of Christian with himself lasted all the way from the Wicket Gate in the river Jordan. The enemy is so securely entrenched within us that he can never be driven out while we are in this body: but although we are closely beset, and often in sore conflict, we have an Almighty helper, even Jesus, the Captain of our salvation, who is ever with us, and who assures us that we shall eventually come off more than conquerors through Him. With such assistance the new-born nature is more than a match for its foes.

Are you fighting with the adversary to-day? Are Satan, the world, and the flesh, all against you? Be not discouraged nor dismayed. Fight on! For God Himself is with you; Jehovah Nissi is your banner, and Jehovah Rophi is the healer of your wounds. Fear not, you shall overcome, for who can defeat Omnipotence? Fight on, ‘looking unto Jesus’; and though long and stern be the conflict, sweet will be the victory, and glorious the promised reward.

‘From strength to strength go on;
Wrestle, and fight, and pray,
Tread all the powers of darkness down,
And win the well-fought day.’

6.2a

Weekly Links (11/18/2016)

“To be a good leader, you’ve got to know how to follow first. If you want others to submit to your leadership, you’ve got to learn how to submit to the authorities in your life…Biblically great people don’t want to draw attention to themselves, but want to lay down their own lives for other people. You should be willing to serve other people because you should really believe they’re more significant than you.” (Dan Dumas, Live Smart: Preparing for the Future God Wants for You)

by Cesar Vigil-Ruiz

Feliz Friday! With Thanksgiving a week away, there’s already much to be thankful for, including this week’s links! Here they are!

  • The ’10 things you should know’ series continues, this time about physician assisted suicide.
  • Tim Challies gives a clear tactic in handling conflicts biblically: asking two specific questions that gets to the heart of forgiveness. For the sake of the unity of the church body, read this!
  • TMS Professor Dr. Greg Harris is coming out with a new book, The Bible Expositor’s Handbook sometime next year, but has made available of the first two chapters here. Enjoy!
  • ACBC has made available one of their sessions from this year’s annual conference. This one is titled, “The Doctrine of the Church and Biblical Counseling” by Steve Viars. Praise God for His faithfulness to His people in the care of souls!
  • Colleen Chao invites us into her life (and Joseph) to see the hand of God in bringing a proud person to compassion. Heath Lambert gives counsel on the Truth in Love podcast on how to break through to the heart of a prideful person.
  • Challies mentions and challenges three parenting myths we are all tempted to believe.
  • Professor David Murray, with assistance of his students in counseling, has created a counselor’s checklist, based on Paul Tripp’s Love-Know-Speak-Do structure, to gauge how one is doing in providing biblical counsel. I hope this is of help to everyone who offers counsel from the Scriptures.
  • What’s at stake in the creation-evolution debate? Center for Science and Culture associate director John West reports on a new study that quantifies the effects of evolutionary ideas on faith and ethics of the general public. There’s some valuable information, so take a look!
  • Pastor Jeremy Yong explains why grace seems hard for him as an Asian-American. Very appreciative of his perspective!

That’s all for this week! Please keep the youth and collegians in prayer, as they meet tonight. Hope to see you all on Sunday!

Soli Deo Gloria

He Will Make Her Wilderness Like Eden

by Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Isaiah 51:3

Methinks, I see in vision a howling wilderness, a great and terrible desert, like to the Sahara. I perceive nothing in it to relieve the eye, all around I am wearied with a vision of hot and arid sand, strewn with ten thousand bleaching skeletons of wretched men who have expired in anguish, having lost their way in the pitiless waste. What an appalling sight! How horrible! a sea of sand without a bound, and without an oasis, a cheerless graveyard for a race forlorn!

But behold and wonder! Upon a sudden, upspringing from the scorching sand I see a plant of renown; and as it grows it buds, the bud expands-it is a rose, and at its side a lily bows its modest head; and, miracle of miracles! as the fragrance of those flowers is diffused the wilderness is transformed into a fruitful field, and all around it blossoms exceedingly, the glory of Lebanon is given unto it, the excellency of Carmel and Sharon. Call it not Sahara, call it Paradise. Speak not of it any longer as the valley of deathshade, for where the skeletons lay bleaching in the sun, behold a resurrection is proclaimed, and up spring the dead, a mighty army, full of life immortal.

Jesus is that plant of renown, and His presence makes all things new. Nor is the wonder less in each individual’s salvation. Yonder I behold you, dear reader, cast out, an infant, unswathed, unwashed, defiled with your own blood, left to be food for beasts of prey. But lo, a jewel has been thrown into your bosom by a divine hand, and for its sake you have been pitied and tended by divine providence, you are washed and cleansed from your defilement, you are adopted into heaven’s family, the fair seal of love is upon your forehead, and the ring of faithfulness is on your hand-you are now a prince unto God, though once an orphan, cast away.

O prize exceedingly the matchless power and grace which changes deserts into gardens, and makes the barren heart to sing for joy.

6.1p

Weekly Links (11/11/2016)

“We need revival, a reformation of our hearts and minds. We don’t need more self-help books, we don’t need more welfare programs or feel-good efforts: we need more of Jesus Christ. Our battleground is not marriage, sexuality, sanctity of life, justice, or hunger. Our battleground is the gospel. Jesus is enough.” [Sheldon Nord (foreword) in David Steele, Bold Reformer: Celebrating the Gospel-Centered Convictions of Martin Luther]

by Cesar Vigil-Ruiz

Feliz Friday! Quite the week, to say the least. Here’s hoping that this week’s links will provide some encouragement to you, wherever you are in your walk with Christ today.

That’s all for this week! Please be in prayer for the youth and collegians, as they meet tonight, as well as our members’ meeting this Sunday night. See you all Sunday morning!

Soli Deo Gloria

@LBC (11/09/2016)

by David Zhang

Sermons

Ezra the Pribe of Israel by Patrick Cho (Ezra 7:1-10)

  • Witness God’s providence in the rebuilding of the temple and the arrival of Ezra.

Smyrna, The Suffering Church by Josh Liu (Revelation 2: 8-11)

  • How should we respond when we are suffering?

Special Features

  • Be sure to check out the last part of the DTR series!
  • Israel shared his testimony 2 Sundays ago!
  • This year’s all-church retreat addresses the Biblical alternative to a “me-centric” world. Come check out Dr. Street’s insightful messages on how we should live in light of social norms.
  • FITS pictures are out!

 

 

The Positive Imprint of Formative Reading

by Pastor James Lee

This past summer, an SD brother asked me a thoughtful question, “Which is your favorite book outside of the Bible?” I responded that I have so many books I’m fond of, that it would be difficult for me to narrow them down to just one. Maybe that’s a “cop out” answer, but that’s genuinely how I feel. And this is coming from someone who throughout his pre-college days was greatly devoted to NOT reading. Reading for pleasure is not something that I understood. I only read when I had to for school – and even now I don’t remember much except a few parts of The Merchant of Venice and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. The rest is a big blur, or found in those yellow Cliff Notes. My parents would buy me books each summer in the off chance that I might actually read them, only to realize the futility of their project. It wasn’t until I was an undergraduate being challenged with great questions from peers I evangelized on campus along with a new hunger for serving the Lord did I actually truly begin to read. And read I did. The summer between my freshman and sophomore years, I read about 30 Christian books. Mom and dad were witnessing something miraculous. Even today, when they visit my church study, my mom will say in Korean, “There is a God!”

Now I love to read, but now have less time to do so. I enjoy reading books of all kinds, not just Christian works, especially history. One that I recently read and recommend would be Six Frigates: The Epic History of the Founding of the U.S. Navy… really, it’s good stuff! But prior to that, the only reading that I actually enjoyed was the Calvin & Hobbes comic strip, and C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia series. Picking one favorite book back in the day would have been difficult for a different reason than today… I had none! Today, I would have favorites in certain subjects. And since then, I would have favorites at certain times in my life. But to choose one, and only one, I’d have to think a lot about that, and even then, I would be hard pressed to have a finalist. So instead, I offered to write a Beacon article to answer his question, but in the format of an autobiographical timeline of the impact of certain books. I hope it encourages each of us to read for our own edification, equipping, and encouragement, however it might specifically and uniquely take form. So dear brother, who will remain unnamed, I apologize for the tardiness of my article.

And let me add, as a quick caveat, that I’m thankful that there was a qualifier of “outside the Bible” because of the singular primacy of commitment we all share to The Book, to which everything else ought to be a distant second. It is a misguided practice to read a lot of Christian books, blogs, and biographies, but neglect a daily reading, meditation, and application of the Scriptures. This article I hope would promote a lot more direct Bible reading. I could not emphasize that enough. First, we need our daily bread. Jesus replied to Satan’s temptation in Matthew 4:4, “MAN SHALL NOT LIVE ON BREAD ALONE, BUT ON EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDS OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD.’” That too has to be our conviction. The original context of what Jesus quoted is found in Deuteronomy 8:3 when the Israelites are being addressed after 40 years in the wilderness, “He humbled you and let you be hungry, and fed you with manna which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that He might make you understand that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by everything that proceeds out of the mouth of the LORD.” God intentionally humbled them. God intentionally let them be hungry. Such mercy. Such love. Likewise, we need God’s Word like we need food, and our prayerful dependence on Him is like our need for oxygen. Being in the Word is like eating, and praying is like breathing. The apostles in Acts 6:4 demonstrated that priority to the “Word and prayer.”

Second, if one hasn’t read the entire Bible in its breadth from Genesis to Revelation, or isn’t still seeking to maintain that spiritual discipline, I would counsel one to start or restart there, or at least to do so concurrently. As David directed to the chief musician to lead our life’s singing in Psalm 19:10, “They are more desirable than gold, yes, than much fine gold; Sweeter also than honey and the drippings of the honeycomb.” As Paul urged his young protégé in 2 Timothy 2:15, “Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth” and 2 Timothy 3:16-17, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

Nevertheless, there is an immense value to the reading of solid Christian books insofar as they help us to more accurately understand the Word, thoughtfully apply the Word, and affectionately be equipped by the Word for worship and service. The old adage is that “leaders are readers”, and that should be evident among local church shepherds. But that aim and desire should, to varying degrees, also characterize our corporate pursuit of godliness. So I will share a list of books that have impacted me personally at various points in my life. I want to qualify my list though in a few ways:

  • The list is not an authoritative list of the best books available. It is only kind of an autobiographical list of what I’ve read and how they are like sign posts along my discipleship – as a new believer, as an excited husband-to-be, as an anxious father, as a struggling pastor…
  • The list tries to limit authors to once, or at most twice as well as subjects as much as possible – I like certain authors more, and I’m tempted to list certain subjects more, so this is my effort at curtailing repetition in both categories.
  • The list does not reflect what I now view, or others might view as the best book on a subject – I think that is something you can ask others about, which is what I’m always trying to ask as well. I have opinions on that question, but with new books (even if just unread) always on the horizon, I’ll resist.
  • This list doesn’t commend everything the author or book teaches as there has been theological development in my life – books are listed for their personal impact at certain times in my life.
  • This list is probably missing something – I’m just eyeing my library and making quick assessments, and even then, it’s mild torture to have to leave off so many favorites.
  • This list leans a bit heavy towards my pastoral ministry – I would suggest other titles depending on each person’s needs and where they are at, so it’s wise to get counsel from others.
  • This list has a variety – some are simple and short, others long and weighty, but I have my own strange reasons for including or not including some books… I may plead the 5th when asked.

Here are 40 books that impacted me to keep trusting Him who is trustworthy…

  1. More Than a Carpenter by Josh McDowell – one of the first little books that I read as a new believer
  2. Trusting God by Jerry Bridges – one of my all-time favorites, and this one I’ve read again and again
  3. Harvest by Chuck Smith – these testimonies gave me hope as a shy man that God could use even me
  4. The Gospel According to Jesus by John MacArthur – I read this that incredible summer of reading based on the recommendation of my small group leader – it affirmed truths for me like few have
  5. Here I Stand: A Life of Martin Luther by Roland Bainton – this was an assignment in my college history class that affected me deeply, and once more as an assignment in seminary!
  6. Competent to Counsel by Jay Adams – this book by the “Martin Luther” of the biblical counseling reformation was pivotal in grounding my commitment to the sufficiency of Scripture
  7. Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret by Taylors – I was forever exhorted to missions during my college years by this and it has stood as a convicting testimony behind every mission trip I’ve been on
  8. The Lost Art of Disciplemaking by Leroy Eims – as I was being mentored to mentor younger believers with the Navigators during college, I found practical encouragement here at the time
  9. Power Through Prayer by E.M. Bounds – encouraged me to a thoughtful prayer life that I struggled to consistently have
  10. Knowing God by J.I. Packer – started and struggled to get through this book in college, but it threw the doors off at the beginning of seminary
  11. Essential Truths of the Christian Faith by R.C. Sproul – I don’t agree with everything, but I always find his explanations concise, cogent, and careful, and this book of short chapters lit a fire in my soul
  12. Found: God’s Will by John MacArthur – I read this little paperback in my school library while I was struggling terribly with the very question, but left feeling freed to live joyfully for God’s glory
  13. Tell the Truth by Will Metzger – still to me is the best, not shortest, book on personal evangelism
  14. Selling Out the Church: The Dangers of Church Marketing by Philip Kenneson & James Street – this helped me stay the course while many of my friends went to the seeker sensitive model in the 90s
  15. Spiritual Leadership by J. Oswald Sanders – a classic work that is on this list because it was my first
  16. Always Ready by Greg Bahnsen – as Van Til was difficult for me, this helped me navigate presuppositional apologetics when most of my training was from an evidentialist perspective
  17. Life in the Father’s House by Wayne Mack & David Swavely – there might be better titles on the matter of church membership, but this was nostalgically the first one in a happy line of them for me
  18. Thoughts for Young Men by J.C. Ryle – after I read this little book as a single man, I remember buying a few dozen copies and giving them out to all the brothers in my church
  19. Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper – there might be more important titles of his I read, but I chose this for the way it challenged me and convicted me as a young churchplanter almost 15 years ago
  20. Liberating Ministry From the Success Syndrome by Kent Hughes – this remains equal encouragement to remain faithful and equal admonition against pastoral envy – I needed this at a ministry low point
  21. When People Are Big and God is Small by Edward Welch – I struggled growing up with a painful shyness and still struggle with a self-focus fearing man and caring too much what people think. This book helped me in tremendously in that struggle.
  22. Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Donald Whitney – with so many great titles on Christian living, this was one that helped bear more fruit in my life than many others
  23. The Peacemaker by Ken Sande – my biblical counseling mentor George Scipione urged me to read this as I was taking nouthetic counseling classes with him just after graduating seminary, and it became the first bible study I ever led in my first full-time pastorate influencing my ministry ever since
  24. The Godly Man’s Picture by Thomas Watson – probably my favorite Puritan writer and title, but reading him launched me into a growing appreciation and reading of other Puritans
  25. The Supremacy of God in Preaching by John Piper – there are many books in this category, but when I see this in my library, it makes me both want to preach and to preach to the glory of God
  26. Lectures to My Students by Charles Spurgeon – raw, eloquent, and immensely practical lessons from the “prince of preachers” himself to someone who still has so much to learn
  27. Leading With Love by Alexander Strauch – one of my all-time favorite books, the one I tend to give to every young man I meet about to enter seminary or just starting out in ministry
  28. Revival & Revivalism by Ian Murray – I try to read as many books of Murray as I can, as I love reading history in general, but this was the one that started me on that journey with him
  29. Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp – when I was still a single senior pastor, I read this to equip myself to serve new parents in the church, then I reread it when Sandy was pregnant with Toby
  30. The Complete Husband by Lou Priolo – there are so many wonderful marriage books I’ve read and yet to read, but this left me in tears of repentance and with a renewed desire to love my wife
  31. Memoirs of an Ordinary Pastor by D.A. Carson – the story of a famous son’s less well-known father hit home deeply with me, lifted my spirits in a discouraging time, and shaped a more biblical perspective
  32. Sinners in the Hands of a Good God by David Clotfelter – when John MacArthur said get it at Shepherds Conference, I read it and been giving it to every Arminian brother or sister ever since
  33. Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller – this confronted the many idols of my heart and gave me hope
  34. Church Planting is For Wimps by Mike McKinley – this book fit me to a tee and still does
  35. A Gospel Primer for Christians by Milton Vincent – love this book so much that it’s required reading for our FOF class (no, he’s not one of those Puritan paperback authors)
  36. Adopted for Life by Russell Moore – when Sandy and I were getting serious in our dating relationship, I asked her if she was open to adopting a child. This book not only encouraged us to fulfill that shared desire, it gave us a deeper appreciation of the gospel and our own amazing status as His children
  37. William Tyndale: A Biography by David Daniell – I have done a biographical teaching around every Reformation Day for the last several years, this was one of the most powerful lives I read
  38. Thoughts on Family Worship by J.W. Alexander – the older works of centuries ago still prove to be the best. Even when the newest and greatest have come on the scene, this is one of them for me
  39. The Hole in Our Holiness by Kevin DeYoung – I appreciated this loving and thoughtful response to the dangers of the hyper-grace movement, just as J.C. Ryle had to similarly respond to in the past
  40. Dangerous Calling by Paul David Tripp – convicting and challenging then, and one I think would be both needful and helpful for me to reread

I apologize for not limiting myself enough, but I hope all of the above would encourage you to read or continue to read. I left off many books that I would recommend over what I listed, but they reflect the titles which were significant at certain times in my life. If the circumstances were different, the list would probably be different. How about you? Which books would you list? Why? I invite you to share with and ask others.

When Paul was in a Roman dungeon expecting eventual execution, he instructed in 2 Timothy 4:13, “When you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas, also the books, and above all the parchments.” If I was Paul, I might ask for some decent food, or to pull some strings and get me out of here!” But Paul asks him for warm clothing and to bring him… books! When a guy is on death row, he wants his soul fed!

If I had to answer one of those cliché questions about which 5 books I would want on a desert island, I might answer (1) MacArthur Study Bible (2) Sound Systematic Theology (3) A Christian Directory by Richard Baxter because it’s great biblical counseling material and really long (4) A Hymnal, and let’s be practical (5) a book on surviving on a desert island! But the real challenge is that we don’t have all this time to sit on the beach to read. For me, I’m preparing sermons, Bible studies, counseling, visiting the hospital, fixing the printer, etc. Then at home, I’m fixing the broken faucet, going to the kids’ school play, trying to have a date night with my wife. And your own life is really no different, and the last thing we think we have time to do is read, right?

Dave Harvey exhorts us:

When we read and study, it expresses our commitment to godly discipleship. One of the first things I remember learning as a new believer was that the Greek word for ‘disciple’ (mathetes) literally means ‘learner’. To be called to Christ is to be called to learn, grow, and develop, so that we may learn to live in a manner worthy of the gospel (Ephesians 4:1)… We don’t merely read good books, we befriend them. We open our mind to them and grant the gift of influence. As friends, books feed us. It’s what makes them potent. It’s what’s makes them valuable. Just like they were for Paul… I can’t begin to recount how much reading good books has affected me. It’s not possible to quantify how my companionship with the messages of Charles Spurgeon has lifted me in dark moments of discouragement, or how Thomas Watson has armed me to fight for contentment, or how John Piper has pushed me to treasure God until my last dying breath. As good companions, books feed the soul and expand the mind. They help prevent ministry-lite, which is leadership based upon impulses, impressions, intuitions, and instincts.

Dear fellow disciples, let’s read!

The Evening And The Morning Were The First Day

by Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Genesis 1:5

Was it so even in the beginning? Did light and darkness divide the realm of time in the first day? Then little wonder is it if I have also changes in my circumstances from the sunshine of prosperity to the midnight of adversity. It will not always be the blaze of noon even in my soul concerns, I must expect at seasons to mourn the absence of my former joys, and seek my Beloved in the night. Nor am I alone in this, for all the Lord’s beloved ones have had to sing the mingled song of judgment and of mercy, of trial and deliverance, of mourning and of delight. It is one of the arrangements of Divine providence that day and night shall not cease either in the spiritual or natural creation till we reach the land of which it is written, ‘there is no night there.’ What our heavenly Father ordains is wise and good.

What, then, my soul, is it best for thee to do? Learn first to be content with this divine order, and be willing, with Job, to receive evil from the hand of the Lord as well as good. Study next, to make the outgoings of the morning and the evening to rejoice. Praise the Lord for the sun of joy when it rises, and for the gloom of evening as it falls. There is beauty both in sunrise and sunset, sing of it, and glorify the Lord. Like the nightingale, pour forth thy notes at all hours. Believe that the night is as useful as the day. The dews of grace fall heavily in the night of sorrow. The stars of promise shine forth gloriously amid the darkness of grief. Continue thy service under all changes. If in the day thy watchword be labour, at night exchange it for watch. Every hour has its duty, do thou continue in thy calling as the Lord’s servant until He shall suddenly appear in His glory. My soul, thine evening of old age and death is drawing near, dread it not, for it is part of the day; and the Lord has said, ‘I will cover him all the day long.’

6.1a

Weekly Links (11/4/2016)

by Stephen Rodgers

Welcome to the first Friday of the month, where we highlight free resources. The usual caveats apply: being featured is not the same thing as being endorsed, and the blurbs are pulled from the respective sites, not written by me.

America’s Pastor (free Christianaudio audiobook)

During a career spanning sixty years, the Reverend Billy Graham’s resonant voice and chiseled profile entered the living rooms of millions of Americans with a message that called for personal transformation through God’s grace. How did a lanky farm kid from North Carolina become an evangelist hailed by the media as “America’s pastor”? More than a conventional biography, Grant Wacker’s interpretive study deepens our understanding of why Billy Graham has mattered so much to so many.

Philippians: How to Have Joy (free Logos resource)

How do I live the Christian life joyfully regardless of people or circumstances? What is the purpose of suffering and the Christian perspective on death? Do I have “the mind of Christ”? Discover true, deep-down joy in your life that the world cannot take away.

Maturity (free Tabletalk magazine)

The November issue of Tabletalk considers the biblical-theological theme of maturity. Maturity is a combination of wisdom, kindness, and endurance—a “growing up” in love. Compared to our forefathers in the faith, many of us are lacking in maturity. Yet, the progression from spiritual infancy to maturity in Christ is the normal progression of the Christian life, and helping others grow in the “fullness of Christ” is one of the primary goals of the church. The goal of this issue is to counter immaturity in the church by presenting a more compelling account of biblical maturity.

DTR Article

by Sharon Kim

DTR. A random concoction of alphabet letters? What does it stand for? Well you’re in luck, because it was defined and described on October 9, 2016 by Pastor Patrick (sermon audio found here). DTR, which can be a noun or a verb, stands for “Defining the Relationship.” It is often used as a synonym for “asking out” or the act of clarifying the relationship between a guy and a girl when one or both parties suspect that they have become more than friends. This sermon in particular defined what a God-honoring vs. flesh satisfying-relationship would look like.

Relationships are not perfect, which can be due to preconceived unrealistic expectations. It is important – actually, ESSENTIAL – to be imbued by the Holy Spirit and to pursue/maintain a relationship that would glorify God. Because God’s way is less painful, more fulfilling, and as Pastor Patrick challenged the listeners, more romantic. More often than not, we have seen the pains of broken relationships, which is the result of sin. God has graciously and mercifully taken away our sin, and thus, He has given us the freedom to have a relationship that could be bearing the fruits of the Spirit.

So let us look to the all-sufficient Word of God, the sword of the Spirit, to battle the shortcomings of relationships. Galatians 5:19 gives us key words that describe acts and states that we should avoid because they are not God-honoring. This sermon dissects and describes each word which is meant to ask questions that can identify if someone is engaged in what is immoral, consistent strife with God… SIN.

  1. Sexual immorality, which can come in many different forms. A prevelant form that was highlighted was fornication (pre-marital sex). Are you in deed, action or thought performing an act such as this?
  2. Sensuality, which can be defined as debauchery (seduction from duty, allegiance, or virtue). Do you indulge in this?
  3. Idolatry, which can take the form of anything that takes precedence in your life over God. Is your dating relationship or even your desire to date consuming areas in your heart and mind that should be reserved for God?
  4. Sorcery is a broad term that involves steering one towards a reliance void of God. For example, the use of illicit drugs. Do you drink, smoke or use any substances that disrupt your or your dating partner’s consciousness for pleasure or escape?
  5. Enmity, which is a synonym of hatred. Can you not stand your relationship or the person you are dating?
  6. Strife, which describes quarrels, bickering and arguing. Though relationships may go through arguments, can you say that it is a consistent pattern in your dating relationship?
  7. Jealousy, a sinful reaction when sharing your partner’s time with others. Do you have a hard time sharing your partner with others and allowing them to be a blessing?
  8. Outbursts of anger includes having no control over your anger which can translate into rash speech. Do you constantly have apologize for what you have said to your dating partner?
  9. Disputes, the root cause of which is selfish ambitions, i.e., a self seeking attitude. Are there disputes in your dating relationship?
  10. Dissensions, which means to stand apart or give someone a cold shoulder. An example of this can be shown when a dating couple has broken up and have a hard time being in the same room because of the pain. Can you see this being the direction of where your dating relationship can end?
  11. Factions, which is when a dating couple separates themselves from the church and can even refuse wise counsel. Are you in this kind of position?
  12. Envy, which is another self-centered attitude where one does not rejoice of the success of others. Are you like this in your dating relationship?
  13. Drunkenness, which is defined by excessive drinking. Do you get drunk from alcohol or are you filled with the Holy Spirit?
  14. Carousing, which is similar to partying/clubbing. Is this a characteristic of your dating relationship?

Remember that there are still many more that can reveal if your dating relationship can be of the flesh rather than of the Lord.

As we continue to verse 22 to describe a relationship that is honoring to God, let us start with the foundation. Galatians 5:14b says, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” This means that relationships are not about you. It is not about self-fulfillment and what you want from the relationship. It should start with the thought of “How can I serve my brother or sister in Christ in love?”

Now to fruits of the Spirit:

  1. Love: This act can be shown through the choice of loving others despite their actions, speech or even looks. This is unmerited love which Christ has shown to us when He came to die for us, sinners. Do you show your dating partner this Christ-like love?
  2. Joy: Are you joyful when you are together with your dating partner?
  3. Peace: This word is something deep that can be defined as “soul satisfaction,” or a completeness. Do you both find your peace in God and see Christ as all sufficient?
  4. Patience: Do you and your dating partner not lose heart in the face of trials/hardship and continue with kindness?
  5. Kindness: Do you desire to be a blessing to others? Could you say that you two are pleasant to be around?
  6. Goodness: Can you ask yourself truthfully if you care more for your partner’s good than your own? To be good is to treat others better than yourself. This should translate in treasuring other people’s time just as much as your own.
  7. Faithfulness: Are you reliable and can be counted on? Can you say that you conduct yourself in a way that will not be considered questionable?
  8. Gentleness: Are you gentle, not condescending and taking to account the feelings of others? A good example that was presented was when Jesus was ministering to the woman at the well (John 4:7-42). The woman was in sin, but Jesus patiently and lovingly served her, which caused her to joyfully spread the news of His existence & message.
  9. Self-Control: Are you driven by your emotions? Are you rash in your decision-making?

These questions which have been formed from these few verses (and do not limit yourself to just these) are great to understand where you might stand in your dating relationship.