by Pastor Patrick Cho

Grace Life has been taking a break for the summer, but things will be picking up again really soon! And even though we have not been meeting, it doesn’t mean things haven’t been busy. Couples have been getting engaged, getting married, and having babies! The ministry has been growing and all this time we have been taking a break!

One of the things we are looking forward to in the fall is the return of our Wednesday evening parenting class. Taught by elder Peter Lim, the parenting class will be a fifteen week course running from October to March. Each week, different topics will be discussed while examining what the Bible teaches about being a parent. Children are certainly a huge responsibility, but they are also a tremendous blessing from the Lord. Every parent knows that raising kids can at times be challenging and even frustrating. But the Bible gives godly wisdom about how successful parenting can be achieved to the glory of God. This will be an invaluable class especially for our new and expecting parents.

Also beginning in October our weekly Grace Life fellowship will resume. Once again, Grace Life will be meeting during the Sunday School hour on Sundays. It will be great to pick up in our study of Mark and this year will present greater opportunities for fellowship, accountability, and interaction.

Hopefully after the summer break, everyone is itching to get started again!

by Ivan Cheng

Learning to be a parent is a constant growing process with God and with Nancy. Each day is an opportunity to practice the Four G’s of the peacemaker principle. When our children were infants, parenting was relatively easy with feeding, changing diapers, and putting them to sleep. As they grew older, the issues of behavior, discipline, and how to train our children in righteousness as the Bible commands became more central to parenting. I never imagined that parenting would require so much intentional planning and foresight.

The first G of “glorifying God” sounds simple, yet it takes conscious effort to put into practice. It is easy to just want to parent by reflex, but it ultimately leads to worldly standards. Putting God first means evaluating my attitudes, words, and actions in light of what pleases Him and modeling biblical values to our children.

The second G of “getting the log out of your own eye” has been the most humbling as a parent. Every day I’m confronted by how my own sins may be the cause of the problem in a conflict with our children. My quick temper, my selfish agenda, my unrealistic expectations are really the underlying issues at hand. Praise God for His mercy that each day is a brand new day for God to start afresh to mold me to His likeness!

The third G of “gently restore” is one that I constantly need to monitor. It is easy to crush the spirit of my children with my harsh words and anger even though they have erred and need discipline. I’m learning that the process is to rebuild the relationship and not just about correcting behavior. They need so much more encouragement and affirmation from me.

The forth G to “go and be reconciled” is so easily left out. I can dish out rebuke and discipline, but reconciliation seems such an afterthought. Sometimes I think that I have it all wrong. I spent the majority of the time focusing on correction and only minimal time on rebuilding. Instead, it should be the other way around, focusing on God’s redeeming grace and reaffirming my unconditional love for my children. The main effort should be on moving past the error and restoring the broken relationship through forgiveness and reconciliation.

God has been gracious to allow me to grow as a parent. I’m grateful that God has put Nancy by my side to work together as parents. Each day we are able to come together to evaluate our goals and mistakes as parents, pray, and depend on the Holy Spirit for His wisdom and to transform us to be Christ-like. We are constantly reminded that our goal is not to raise successful children, but ones who have a loving relationship with Christ and experience His grace. Ultimately, we need to trust that God’s plan for our children is far better than anything we can conceive for them.

by Thomas and Karen Fong

We’ve been married since January and are enjoying married life and all that comes with it. In our short time being married, Grace Life has been a great help to us. In second hour, we are currently going through Peacemaking for Families by Ken Sande and Tom Raabe. As we intertwine our lives, we are finding areas where we differ in how we handle and approach things.

Since marriage is the joining of two sinners, there are bound to be conflicts and disagreements. Ours is no different. As single adults, decisions were a bit easier and less complicated because we didn’t have the other half to consider or consult. There are times when we differ in point of views, how we react, the approach we take, and struggle with selfishness. It has been hard dealing with disagreements and conflicts when both of us are escapists. It has been very helpful to be reminded that conflicts tear apart our relationship with each other, but most importantly with God. As escapists, it’s easy to think about ourselves and forget about the other party and see that the conflict can affect their worship to God. One thing we’ve been reminding each other as we encounter conflicts is that it’s a great opportunity for us to glorify God, serve each other and grow in Christ-likeness when we seek reconciliation to restore our relationship with God and each other. It’s been helpful reminding each other that it is also a time to be challenged and to grow together.

It’s also been humbling to constantly see how sinful our hearts are and how unforgiving we can be. We’ve been convicted of what forgiveness truly is, not only in our marriage relationship, but with family and friends as well. It’s so easy to just say “I forgive you,” but allow our actions, thoughts, and heart to dwell on the offenses. Sande and Raabe describes it very well,

“Forgiveness is not a feeling, not forgetting, not excusing. It is an act of the will, a decision not to think or talk about what someone has done. It is an active process involving a conscious choice and a deliberate course of action. It is the canceling of a debt that your spouse has incurred because of improper behavior or words. It brings us back together after an offense has separated us from each other.“ (p.85)

We’ve been challenged and convicted to actively decide to not dwell or talk about the other’s offenses, but to dwell on the positive. Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.” This is the Replacement Principle and it’s a great reminder for us when struggling with an inability to forgive.

Grace Life has been a great source of encouragement for us as it has confirmed things we have been doing well in our communication and conflict resolution as well as teaching us other ways to help us effectively resolve our conflicts, negotiate, and come to creative and adequate options. We look forward to the upcoming chapters of the book and are excited for the challenges it brings.

by Randy Sarmiento

Recently in GraceLife we have been going through the book Peacemaking for Families by Ken Sade and Tom Raabe. It is always great to have a tool that will point us back to God, and His will for the families.

We are a very young couple that have been married for only a little over a year, and have a 7 month-old daughter. To be honest, before this study we really did not challenge each other spiritually. Like many other Christian couples, when we got married we made the assumption that it would be at least a little bit easier to share what is in our hearts and what we are struggling with. We thought marriage would dissolve many of the communication problems that we had during dating. You know, since we are now joined together as one before God. But soon enough, the realization that “sinner plus sinner equals conflict” came. It’s not that we fight a lot or even come into conflict much, but the fact is that we do, and will get into it. Now the question being asked is, “How do we handle it?”

One thing the book reminds us is that through biblical ways to resolve conflict you can encourage your spouse and family members. In this way you can think of conflict as an opportunity to glorify God and serve others.

Another point that the book has helped us in is the realization of idols in our lives. Idols could start out to be desires for honorable and good things, but then they can turn into demands that must be met. We realized that this is something that could easily sneak up on us and cause conflict.  We know that we have to constantly examine our hearts and motives, because it may very well turn into actions and words that may not glorify God.

Consciously we needed to watch ourselves so that we may be an example to our daughter, even in her infancy. Prayerfully we hope that someday she will come to the saving knowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord. So we do not want our actions and words to be a hindrance to the testimony of God’s love and grace.

Personally for me, the book has reminded me that conflict tears apart relationships, and forgiveness is the restoration of a relationship made whole again.  With God and us, we were in conflict with Him due to our sin, and yet He had restored our relationship with Him by the blood of His Son. I also realized that my mentality is that if something is broken I need to fix it as fast as I possibly can. The same thing goes with problematic situations and especially when I think that someone else is clearly wrong and I am right. But after reading the first 5 chapters of the book and being pointed back to scripture, I realized and remembered that I can’t do anything apart from God, that I am not in control, and I have to first submit to God.

As much as I would like to think that I am a strong and knowledgeable person, the more I read God’s word, the more I realize how weak I am and how much I don’t know. It’s quite humbling. I truly need to grow up and be, “quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. (James 1:19)”

We all know that relationships are hard, and at times marriage can be even harder, but everyday I still thank God for the huge blessing of my wife and daughter. Once again, I am reminded of the sinner that I am, and how much I fall short of His Glory. But because of His actions of love, through His Son Jesus Christ, I am overwhelmed of the fact that I am even given the opportunity to lead and teach them. Having a family is truly grace on its own.

I look forward to the rest of the book in hopes that it will continue to be an eye-opener of how to biblically handle conflict situations.

by Pastor Patrick Cho

A couple weeks ago, the Grace Life ministry began a study through Ken Sande’s book, Peacemaking for Families. So far, the lessons have been greatly helpful in providing instruction and pointing to biblical principles of conflict resolution. Sadly, since we are sinners, our sin oftentimes manifests itself in our marriages and parenting. We hurt those we claim to love the most and we act selfishly, seeking only to get what we want.

The opening chapters of Sande’s book have been very helpful getting us to honestly confess that our conflicts stem from the sinful desires of our own hearts. We can’t solely blame others (“They make me so mad!”), and we can’t blame our circumstances (“All this noise is driving me crazy!”). As the Bible clearly indicates, in conflict we must first look inward to find the problem (James 4:1-2).

In any relationship, conflict is going to be reality. The teaching of Christ in Matthew 5:23-24 is particularly insightful. Jesus says that if someone has something against you, you are to go and resolve the conflict before offering the sacrifice at the altar. Even if you are doing everything you can to be at peace with others, you still can’t control how others are going to act towards you. The passage doesn’t say, “If you have a problem with someone…” It says, “If someone has a problem with you…”

This study through biblical conciliation in the context of the home is sure to be greatly practical and helpful. Hopefully, our families are already finding ways to implement the principles in their relationships. We all need to work hard at identifying our sinful desires and unbiblical demands in order to better love and serve one another. This isn’t to say that conflicts will be avoidable altogether. We may stumble along the way, but at least we can have the biblical principles in mind when we do in order to make peace quickly and completely.

by Pastor Patrick Cho

Most people at Lighthouse probably know by now that in GraceLife we are currently studying the life of Christ in the book of Mark. So far it has been a good study and has generated some helpful discussions. What people might not know is that along with the study, we are currently memorizing various passages of Scripture that are consistent with the themes from each lesson. The passages are not necessarily from Mark, but are intended to help us remember what the lesson was about and challenge us in our application.

Our first memory passage was Mark 1:14-15 where Jesus goes about Galilee proclaiming the gospel of God. The reason why this passage is so significant is because it serves as a clear, succinct summary of what Jesus’ gospel presentation entailed. He preached a gospel of repentance and faith in light of the kingdom being at hand. This serves us as a helpful reminder that the gospel is more than coming to understand a series of facts. When a person truly understands the gospel and is saved, there is a necessary inward change, a turning from sin and to God.

Our second memory passage was Hebrews 4:15 where Jesus is referred to as our sympathetic high priest. This was the verse that corresponded to the lesson on Jesus’ baptism and temptation in the wilderness. In His baptism, Jesus stood in the place of sinners as one who represented us to the Father. One of the amazing truths about His incarnation and humanity is that He understands from experience our temptations, struggles, and hardships. We have a high priest in Christ who really can sympathize with us.

Our third memory passage was Romans 10:9. Paul writes that a person who confesses with his mouth that Jesus is Lord and believes in his heart that God raised Him from the dead will be saved. This verse corresponded with the lesson about the preaching focus of Jesus’ ministry. Certainly Jesus performed amazing signs and miraculous deeds, but He came primarily to teach, and specifically to preach the gospel.

In like manner, all the memory passages correspond with the week’s lesson and help us internalize the point of each passage of study. Our hope is that by having these passages memorized, it will help us to constantly have God’s Word on our hearts and to remember the important themes and lessons from the book of Mark. A complete list of the weekly memory passages can be found at the GraceLife webpage.

by John Mark and Lauren Wendler

1) What have you been learning?

We have been learning a lot in the first chapter of the book of Mark. The purpose of Mark’s gospel was to prove that Jesus was the Son of God to a Gentile audience. We see that people reacted to the gospel the same way in John the Baptist’s time as today: some believed, some thought they didn’t need it, others thought it was crazy. Jesus was baptized so he could relate to sinners, and He then immediately submitted to the Spirit’s impelling him to go into the wilderness and be tempted by Satan. Jesus can sympathize with our weakness because he underwent this testing and trials. We then see how Jesus sought out the disciples, and Peter, James, John, and Andrew were immediately obedient by leaving their nets (and their father for James and John!) to follow Jesus.

2) What has been particularly challenging for you?

Having a Lord that sympathizes with us really challenges us to give all our desires and passions for what we do and want to accomplish to be more in line with the life Jesus calls us to(self-sacrifice, loving others, etc.) The disciples willingness to drop what they were in the middle of doing to follow Jesus is especially challenging as it is easy to hold tightly to the security a job provides, or the comforts of living in San Diego.

3) How has the study been stimulating your spiritual growth?

Seeing Jesus’ willingness to relate to the world by going through trials, calling his disciples with references to their occupation has caused a deeper love for scripture and has enhanced our prayer life by adjusting our mindset when talking to our Wonderful Lord and Savior who is also our Friend.

The Strengthening Your Relationship questions that we go through together, on our week off from Mark, help evaluate our spiritual health. We have found that the questions facilitate God glorifying conversations in which we can make it a habit to evaluate how we are doing and encourage each other along the way.

by Pastor Patrick Cho

GraceLife, the marrieds/family ministry of LBC, is currently conducting a study in the book of Mark during the Sunday School hour. So far, it has been a good series examining Jesus’ earthly ministry. Since we moved the general meeting to the Sunday School hour, the participation has increased and is more consistent. It certainly helps that all the Children’s Ministries run simultaneously to free up parents to participate in the general sessions. During each meeting, we begin with a small memory verse quiz. We then discuss the previous week’s homework. When we eventually get to the current week’s passage, we start by breaking up into smaller discussion groups to work through general observations. The meeting ends with a short time of instruction to prepare the group for the week’s homework.

One of the biggest changes to GraceLife structurally is that we are taking a break from organized small groups. After meeting up with several men in the church, it became clear that one area of growth that was needed was to promote more spiritual conversations in the home. The homework for GraceLife addresses this need by providing daily discussion questions from the week’s study. Each individual is supposed to work through the questions on their own and then come together to discuss their answers as a couple. The hope behind the assignments is that having spiritual conversations would become more the norm in our homes rather than the exception.

So far the study has been very beneficial. The feedback being received is that the assignments are stimulating greater spiritual health in the home. The instruction from the general sessions are recorded and placed on the church’s website, as well as the weekly homework worksheets.

Once a month, we take a break from our regular Mark study to focus solely on improving our relationships. The questions for those weeks are geared towards providing accountability for our spiritual walks and marriages. All in all, the goal is to strengthen the church body by building up our married couples and families. As more and more interaction takes place between members, we are confident that the whole church will benefit from a stronger GraceLife ministry.